Katana #4

How come The Creeper was able to reform after being freed from Soultaker? Why did the other souls just dissipate or float away?

DC has done some pretty egregious things in their pursuit of money but I can forgive all of them. All of them except for this comic book. I take this personally. I was excited about a Katana solo comic book! She was going to be free of Duane Swier-Goddamn-his-name-is-hard-to-spell-ynski! No longer would I have to read a poorly characterized Katana that never learned anything! One that would no longer simply react to situations instead of formulating plans! Katana was going to have a place to show her potential! And then I saw that Ann Nocenti was going to be writing it and I cried for five days straight. I really wish Nocenti had disappointed me on this comic book. Being disappointed by Ann Nocenti is not getting what you expect to get and what I expected to get was horrible writing which is what I got so it would have been nice to be disappointed by her and see her write a good comic book.

I have a feeling I'm going to be drawing another farmyard animal pretty soon!

The first page answers my question about the other souls. They have taken shape and are all standing around like Will-o'-the-Wisps. And one of them is the dragon Killer Croc was looking for! So now he doesn't need the sword or to kill Katana, right? He can interview the Dragon or suck down its essence or do whatever crazy thing he was going to do to it. And Katana can take her broken sword to Drunk Master and get it reforged. And everybody can go home happy and nobody needs to make a visit to Ann Nocenti's Knowledge Fun Farm!

A little girl soul flees from the scene as Katana narrates more nonsense.

Stupid hammers. Always objectifying nails.

Since her Katana is broken, Katana decides to fight with her fan. Too bad she doesn't also carry a Wakizashi. Because then she could fight with it. Or, you know, disembowel herself for great pride.

While Katana and Killer Croc fight, the souls talk amongst themselves in an effort to help the reader learn more about the connection between the souls and the Soultaker. It seems the Soultaker has been broken many times before and the souls escape and then the sword is reforged and then the souls go back in the sword. But it seems, watching the little girl soul head off to find somebody to cut, that the souls can find a new body before the sword is reforged so that they can live again. The Creeper wants to make sure he never goes back into the sword, so he wants to destroy it completely. He tells Katana to hold on for a minute while he rounds up a body to inhabit so he can kick her ass. Katana says, "Okay. I'll be right here waiting while getting my heart broken."

Good thing all of her enemies are busy so she can have a moment to wallow in self-pity.

Killer Croc runs off with his new Dragon Soul buddy. The big eared, insane goblin samurai seen earlier hanging out with the dragon has now traded in his big goblin ears for horns on his samurai helmet. He decides to carry Katana back to her home. He may or may not have possessed her. He almost certainly peeked at her boobies.

Meanwhile the little girl soul has found a body to possess and heads over to the untouchable prostitute Shun. What good is an untouchable prostitute? Does she just watch? I guess her entire job is to just have tattoos that tell the future and the past. The little girl cuts off Shun's non-dragon tattoo foot because it has a tattoo that relates to her clan. I don't know what kind of a clan a little girl would be in. The Crayola Clan?

Back at Drunken Master's hut, Katana wakes up and tells her story to Junko. He defines some words for her but it's not enough for me to fire up Ann Nocenti's Knowledge Fun Farm. He merely explains what Purgatory is and what Oni are. Thanks, Junko, but us comic book reading nerds are all familiar with those things! I'm pretty sure Katana already knew them as well being that she's sentient and older than eleven. Katana's broken Katana also made the trip and Junko informs her that it's missing one piece and he gives a biased and judgmental definition of a kris. Then Katana goes to sleep because she's tired from waking up after having slept for a long time.

The next panel after Katana falls asleep shows Katana waking up. I guess Nocenti just wanted Katana to sleep for an indeterminate amount of time so that other pieces of the plot couldn't be questioned as to how they were enacted so quickly. I'm simply assuming that's the case since her continuous sleeping should have a reason. It could be because she was possessed by a narcoleptic samurai. Or, I suppose, she's simply depressed that her husband didn't want to stay by her side as a helpful spirit guide. But Ann Nocenti didn't explain to me that sleeping a lot was a sign of depression! How am I supposed to know that if she won't explain it?!

Katana has a plan now, thanks to Junko. She must go to a weapons expo in Japan to find somebody to reforge her sword. Why do Drunken Masters always send students on pointless journeys so that they can ultimately realize everything they need is right in front of them? I'm sure Junko will be the one to reforge the sword. But before Katana heads to Japan, she needs to go check out Shun's tattoos again.

That was a nice and convoluted way to get The Creeper back into Jack Ryder's body.

Speaking of threads, I know why I dislike Nocenti's writing so much. She's an over-explainer. When she wants to make a point, she writes down every thought that led her to that final point. So to say that nobody is going to clip the thread that connects these two, she has to explain why she's using the thread analogy and where it comes from and how The Creeper knows about it. But when I write, I'm more like a schizophrenic. I'll have a thought that will lead to another thought and probably two or three more thoughts and then I'll write the fifth thought in the progression without revealing the other thoughts because it sounds funnier. It also creates a slightly tilted and insane style. So it's exactly opposite of the way Ann Nocenti overwrites everything although I guess we both sound mad.

By the way, that previous bit about the Three Fates could easily have been an Ann Nocenti Knowledge Fun Farm! Maybe I'll have to put one together at the end that collects all of her great bits of learning.

Later Katana is being criticized by her boss so she leaves work early. She decides to go stand around in full costume on the roofs of buildings when The Creeper attacks her! But he's got bad aim so he loses.

She's going to miss the weapons expo if she keeps farting around in San Francisco.

Katana #4 Rating: -2 Ranking. I have no idea what this comic book title is supposed to be about.

"Hello kids! Are we ready for some barnyard learning!? I bet we are! How many of you kids knew about the Oni, an ancient trickster ghost? Put your hands down and stop trying to correct me! Just listen! They have horns and wild hair and claws! Stop disagreeing with me, you rotten brats! I read this shit on Wikipedia! And how can you disagree with the slight definition I've just given you? You can't, you dumb assholes! Now shut up while I tell you about Purgatory! It's where souls end up that aren't ready to die or have unfinished business! YES IT IS! You know what? Get rid of these kids! Little smart ass twerps. I was going to tell them about The Three Fates but I've had enough of their back talk. Make sure the benches are filled with dumber kids next time! That's all the time we have on Ann Nocenti's Knowledge Fun Farm! Get the fuck out!"