This is it! The origin of Harvest!
This issue doesn't begin any fucking better. First off, Psimon is not unconscious any more. I guess "mere moments" is enough time for him to bounce back up and defend himself against Red Robin's accusation that he killed two dozen soldiers. Or Scott Lobdell just assumes nobody is going to remember where last month's comic book left off, so why not just begin this one however he wants. You would think the editors would nip that shit in the bud though since they should be thinking about how fucking stupid this is going to look in the Trade. Page twenty: Psimon obviously unconscious amidst Beast Boy's tentacles. Page twenty-one: Psimon standing up and yelling he's not the bad guy.
It's true! They were going to just arrest everybody involved in the skirmish because fuck trying to stop the demon ravaging New York City! Let's arrest the easier to catch people that are actually fighting the threat.
Also, this jerks name is Psimon. Get it? Psimon says, "Drop dead!" So none of these guards should actually be dead because he didn't say, "Psimon says, 'Drop dead!'"
Okay, so Psimon's great defense is that the soldiers were going to arrest everyone so they should be thanking him for killing them. But he isn't the only reason on the first page why this issue went horribly awry from page one. Solstice's reaction isn't any better.
First rule of Do Not Get Sued Club is "Never Apologize"! Stop acting like this was your fault! You were there to stop the giant demon. You didn't force the giant demon's Psimon doll to murder everyone. Now the general populace is definitely going to blame you.
I have no idea why Kid Flash thinks, "At least...someone thinks so!" Did I miss something? Was Kid Flash traumatized by ARGUS going after him in Vibe? So now he thinks everybody thinks he's an evil murderer? Or is this just another bit of random dialogue that Lobdell thinks helps build the character. "You know what? Kid Flash has been chirpy and optimistic through the entire run! But if I make him think this one out of character thing, it'll show he's full of self-doubt and low self-esteem!"
I need to stop being distracted by the little things! My main concern now is why the fuck is Trigon back in
Okay, okay! I'll shut up so I can hear your story! I want to know all about why Trigon wants to rule the Seventh Kingdom and how he existed before there was time and how he's probably going to be the most powerful godlike creature since Oracle in Superman!
"Everywhere I looked (this is still me, Trigon!), souls bowed and groveled before me! I don't know where they came from because it was too dark to see anything and then suddenly time and then boom there they were! But I tell you what: it was really boring. The best part about life before time was invented is that nobody was ever bored. And then time was invented and suddenly you have to deal with these interminably long minutes before something new happens! Ugh. I could do without it. So I killed people and terrorized people and ruled the world and...yawn...boring. Seen it all."
"And then I discovered sex! Holy shit! Suddenly time was worth it! Well, only the time spent achieving orgasm. The rest of the time was just as dreary. But sex led to babies and my babies were always male and that was boring for some reason or another that I haven't yet explained. Maybe it was because it was all the same. I needed something new! Something different! What I needed..."
"I don't know why my daughter has such a long penis."
"Schoolhouse Rocky! A chip off the block of your favorite schoolhouse, Schoolhouse Rock!"
And that's how the fifteen page scene in the Five Under Realms explains the origin of Raven!
Back on Earth, Raven tries to make friends and Cassie tries to beat the crap out of Raven and Raven flips the fuck out and everybody calms down and then the Sons of Trigon appear to bring Raven home.
Teen Titans #20 Rating: -1 Ranking. Whatever. Just another issue of a comic book that Scott Lobdell can't be bothered to connect from month to month. Why did Trigon attack and then go back home? I don't know. Why did he bring Raven along even though he knew she was planning on staying with the Titans? A test, I guess? Why does Trigon want Raven back now that she failed? Because she's his! Duh! Why was Red Robin Reborn on the cover? Probably because Lobdell doesn't know where his story will go from month to month, so why should the cover artists have any idea? I'm supposed to go to work now but I don't think I have the energy for it! I'm going to go drown myself in the bathtub now. See you later!