Batman: The Dark Knight #19

Oh come on, DC! That's just rude.

Does DC expect me to NOT photoshop their covers when they give me such easy set ups? I got the feeling that DC changed the format on their Narration Boxes in Deathstroke simply to try to keep me from photoshopping horribly racist and misogynistic things in Deathstroke's voice. But then I have a gigantic ego and believe I am the sole causality of the universe. What's funny about that is everybody else has the same feeling! Even, or especially, people that believe in God. At least I don't believe some grand, omniscient creator has my back! Talk about an ego! I wish I knew one mortal person I could count on to carry me down the fucking beach.

So Batman is going to battle The Mad Hatter this issue but what I'm most concerned about is whether or not he actually revealed his secret identity to Natalya. He'd be a fool if he did! Because there's one sure way to know if somebody is a super villain and that's to think you can trust them enough to tell them your secret identity. But before I begin reading this comic book, I have one question: What the fuck happened to The White Rabbit?! Did David Finch cry "Dibs!" on that character? Or is the character just not interesting enough for other writers to pick up? I miss photoshopping her outfit to make it even skimpier than the way too skimpy Finch had already made it!

The Mad Hatter's entire operation is falling apart and while he's not too worried about the Gotham Police bringing his play to a halt, he is worried about that one guy.

Tweedle Dee has a point. Unless that's Tweedle Dum.

The comic dives right into a flashback as Jervis remembers the crazy days after he began his Testosterone treatments. The art this issue is really terrible compared to the previous issues by Ethan Van Sciver. I wonder what happened to him? He was part of the hype for this comic book turning around and he's already gone? Hopefully it's just one of those one off issue things but it's too bad it had to happen in the middle of a story arc. Now The Mad Hatter doesn't just look like a pathetic kid; he looks like a creepy child molester. As opposed to, you know, the uncreepy ones.

"If one pill at a time made me an unlikable mess, just think what six at a time will do! Bottoms up!"

Jervis became a raging monster that loved to kill bunnies, so he was abandoned in the Arkham Detention Facility for Youth. I wasn't aware Arkham had a loony bin for kids! Fuck the Li'l Gotham comic book! I want a Li'l Arkham comic book! Although I haven't read Li'l Gotham so maybe they actually have a Li'l Arkham section. I can't imagine they could pass that up. It would be like Muppet Babies with straight jackets and padded walls.

Back at the Batcave, Bruce is sitting around waiting for the Batsignal while Natalya hangs out with Alfred upstairs. So he really did go through with it! Now instead of sitting in front of the monitor waiting for crime to happen, he can sit around having sex waiting for crime to happen. And Natalya can sit around having sex waiting until she has to give another performance. They sit around having so much sex this night that Natalya almost misses her symphony. But Bruce drops her off in the Batplane and before anybody thinks Batman can trust anyone at all with his secret, he plants a bug on her so he can hunt her down and kill her as soon as she blabs his secret. Or else it is another tracer so he can find her if she ends up getting kidnapped by The Mad Hatter now that he's totally and completely in love.

One of the Mad Hatter's hatted spies notices Batman dropping off Natalya, so everything is already ruined! Batman giving a civilian (especially a love interest) his secret identity is tantamount to shoving that civilian into a refrigerator with his own hands. And now that The Mad Hatter knows Batman is involved with Natalya, it's either The Hatter or The Pianist! One of them has to die!

Leave her alone, Jervis! Alfred can't take any more death!

Batman sits at home watching the tracer beep away. But love has made him stupid!

You didn't plant the tracer under her skin, idiot. Does she sleep in her fancy dress? Zoom in a little, Bruce. I think you'll find the bleeping is coming from her closet. And she's long fucking gone.

The Mad Hatter has not kidnapped her yet, so Bruce is simply lucky. How can Bruce be the smartest guy in the DC Universe and yet still be so stupid? Perhaps I'm simply mistaken and the tracer was planted subdermally. Perhaps it was just a failure of the artist to get the message across in the image. I'd be more apt to believe that than to believe that Bruce Wayne is making this kind of a stupid mistake.

Now that Jervis has found the star of his play, he calls for a rehearsal. He summons all the players from Gotham and they all leave their families and friends to wander out to the abandoned underground silo. What's wrong with the families of these victims? Haven't any of them tried to get their loved ones to remove the fucking hat they've been obsessively wearing for weeks?! I'm pretty sure unless they're Ron Howard, wearing a hat 24/7 would be suspicious. Wearing it while sleeping? Strange. Wearing it in the shower? Fucking weird. Wearing it while wearing another hat? Someone call The Goddamned Batman because it's obviously a Mad Hatter problem!

The rehearsal doesn't go very well so Jervis fires all of the actors.

While Batman just sat and waited and played love games, dozens hundreds of Gothamites were murdered. Perhaps Batman should have run around Gotham yanking hats off of people all night long? That's a better plan than doing absolutely nothing.

Gordon lights up the signal later to let Batman know that hundreds of people went missing. As they're talking, he gets a call that the bodies have been found.

Just chilling. And I love the title.

Batman: The Dark Knight #19 Rating: +2 Ranking. I didn't care for the art in this issue but any writer that can get me to respect The Mad Hatter as a genuine psychotic threat is doing a fantastic job. I love the motivation for The Mad Hatter's murders in this book. He's actually involved in legitimate business practices (if selling drugged tea and hats that possess the wearer can be, this one time, thought of as legitimate) to make the money for his psychotic desires. And the people are simply props to fuel his fantasy. One reader mentioned another Mad Hatter book that was really well done but I hadn't read that one (and have forgotten what it was). But this is the first time I've really enjoyed reading this character.