Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Green Arrow #20

Goddammit, Komodo! Tell us your stupid secrets already!

Last issue, Green Arrow was hurt really badly in Seattle while also dying of dehydration in Arizona. Komodo and his daughter were trying to kill him in Seattle and Magus was fucking with him in Arizona. Everybody has a bunch of secrets about Green Arrow's father and the island and what happened to Green Arrow. I suppose the lie was that Green Arrow was partying on an oil rig that was attacked and then exploded and Green Arrow ended up stranded on an island. The truth will have Green Arrow's dad planning the whole thing to make his son a strong, independent man who would finally be capable of helping him search the world for hidden treasures.

Or things could be entirely different because this comic book is really hard to get back into after the gigantic shit Ann Nocenti took on it. Although to be extremely fair to Ann Nocenti, I thought she did a masterful job when compared to J.T. Krul.

This issue begins with Green Arrow, once again, teasing the fuck out of me.

This would actually be a good way to Reboot Green Arrow. Have him lie down to die in the sun and be wracked with death hallucinations. He would dream he was saved and go on to have a crazy new life battling demons and space aliens and the ghost of his father. And then sometime around Issue #135, his eyes would snap open as he stares up into the glaring Arizona sun and dies.

But before Green Arrow gives up, he decides to drink some water outside of a teepee. He also manages, through sheer force of will and his amazing powers of deduction, to find Magus inside the teepee. Imagine that! Wandering in the desert was a test! And there's no better proven test to prove your faith than the wander through the desert test! Although I don't think this was about faith but more about perseverance and stick-to-it-iveness. I wonder if Jeff Lemire is using this as an analogy about Green Arrow fans? They had to wander through a year and a half worth of barren stories without a hint of joy to finally prove their worthiness as Green Arrow fans and allowed to see the glory of Oliver Queen written well! I'm surprised I was allowed to finish the journey since I mouthed off so much and acted like a total Moses.

We're tired of that too! Kind of. I guess I wouldn't mind seeing him get beat up a few more times.

Once Magus begins to explain things to Oliver, the narrative returns to Seattle and one week earlier so we can see how things turned out up there. Komodo reports to his superiors (unless they're partners. But I assume they're superiors since they're not busting their asses trying to kill Green Arrow themselves) that Queen Industries has been acquired but Green Arrow has escaped. That results in a tongue lashing from Golgotha. And then the next page explains their relationship. Kind of.

Perhaps the job of The Outsiders in The New 52 is to kill all of the characters that aren't living up to their potential.

Komodo doesn't plan on going anywhere until Oliver Queen is dead. So he remembers how easy it was to get Green Arrow's attention by posting things on the internet because it made Oliver so angry that people on the internet could become famous for doing nothing! Except for, you know, entertaining thousands of other people. But fuck that! They should go through the proper channels of getting agents and signing contracts and working for a company and not completely speaking their own mind because they have to represent the company signing their paychecks. Komodo begins hosting a live webcam of Naomi crucified on a statue in the hopes that it will lure out Green Arrow and then WHAMMO! Dead Green Arrow! It's a brilliant plan! Except that it didn't work out very well for Rush so I don't imagine it's going to work out for Komodo either.

What do you mean, "Who the hell is Rush?" Have we forgotten the sins of J.T. Krul so soon? Never forget!

Just let the JLA take care of it! Stop being so stubborn.

The trap is set and the bait is taken. Green Arrow recognizes the location of Naomi's crucifixion as the Queen family mausoleum where his father is buried. That's the perfect place for the exposing of family secrets!

Oliver finds that Naomi has a bomb strapped to her that must have been rigged to blow two minutes after the tomb was opened. Of course Komodo is waiting for him and they do their arrow dance across the graveyard as Fyff runs in to try and defuse the bomb. I really don't mind if Naomi were to blow up because of her personal philosophy on video games but Fyff is my kind of nerd. I was hoping he'd stick around with Green Arrow for the long haul.

Poor Fyff. If he were more confident and less socially awkward and much better looking and less creepy, the stalking might have been perceived as pursuing.

Thankfully, Fyff saves his own life by disarming the bomb. Although the comic book isn't over yet and those explosives are still strapped to Naomi's back.

Green Arrow and Komodo's fight ends how most bow and arrow battles end: fisticuffs. That's because you run out of arrows and it's harder to keep a shitload of arrows on your person than a shit ton of bullets. Also, guys that shoot arrows for a living are pretty good at dodging arrows as well, even when they're the two greatest archers in the world (although Merlyn might be better than Komodo).

Still no secrets revealed! Don't worry! I'll let you know when Komodo spills them!

Eventually Green Arrow cheats at the fist fight and just stabs Komodo in the eye with an arrow. That's just great! You might think you're taking away his depth perception but what you're really doing is giving him an excuse to appear in a future issue with a bionic eye that makes him an even better shot than before! Sheesh! When are these comic book characters ever going to remember that they're in fucking comic books!? And you know that's exactly what's going to happen since Komodo uses one of Ollie's smoke bomb arrows to get away.

Oh! Forget the bionic eye! If I were Komodo, I'd get one of my daughter's eyes transplanted into my face! That's what kids are for, right? Free labor and emergency organs!

The partly new team! Naomi sucks!

I should cut Naomi some slack since the Naomi I disliked was J.T. Krul's Naomi. I actually liked her much better when she was being written by Giffen. I'm sure Naomi and Fyff will be an entertaining Green Arrow tech team.

And that's it. Besides the very beginning of Ollie's trek through the desert where Black Magus had a sheriff named "Butcher" knock him out and drive him to the middle of nowhere. Hopefully next time we'll get some of those fucking secrets and truths about Oliver Queen's father and Magus and Komodo. They've been teased and hinted at longer than a Scott Lobdell forgotten foreshadow!

Green Arrow #20 Rating: +1 Ranking. I almost gave it a +2 ranking since this comic is many light years better than it's been in many light-miles. But I couldn't because it didn't tell me any secrets!

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