Talon #7

This Court of Owls shit is still going on?

Last issue, everybody learned that Sebastian Clark was the Grandmaster of the Court of Owls during the Night of the Owls. He was also the one to recruit Calvin Rose. For all the other people like me that have trouble with names, Sebastian Clark is the old man and Calvin Rose is the good Talon. Calvin Rose also has a girlfriend by the name of Fuck If I Know. But Calvin Rose is too busy to deal with that betrayal right now. He's got an island to blow up. But he kind of needs to hurry because Sebastian caught his girlfriend learning secrets she shouldn't aught to have learned.

This is how the current Grandmaster of the Court of Owls has Calvin secured. Ha ha! Amateur! I could get out of those bonds!

Not only does Calvin Rose have an overabundance of expertise to free himself from these paltry manacles, he has a man on the inside now! Baby Talon turns on Daddy Talon and Grandaddy Talon, just like Grandaddy Talon always knew he would because Baby Talon is a weak, fucked-up, piece of shit, no good pussy. Talon and Baby Talon best the elder Talons and Calvin sets off the bomb at the base of Securitus Tower. This causes the computers to wipe their own memory and an escape pod fires up. Hey! ESCAPE pod!? I bet I know who's going to be riding that thing to freedom!

See? That teeny, tiny figure is Calvin Rose! The Court of Owls current Grandmaster is inside.

Back at Sebastian Clark's headquarters, Sebastian tries to lock Casey (that's her name!) away in the Aztec Tomb, one of Calvin's tricks illusions. But Casey ends up locking Sebastian in the pantry where The Aztec Tomb is kept because she's a computer expert and a paranoid genius.

His partner is Bane. I figured that out myself. I'm like Sherlock Holmes and shit.

Casey and her daughter pack up and leave the compound. I hope her daughter is good at self-defense because there might just be a Gotham Butcher waiting outside.

As Calvin hurries home to save Casey because she's female and therefore must need saving (do the math!), he's intercepted by The Goddamned Batman. Batman lectures him for a bit about how Gotham is Batman's home and Owls are stupid because they eat bats and there's no way in hell an owl-type person can operate in Batman's city because Batman will be fucked if he allows Gotham to ever love somebody else again. The whole scene reveals Batman's huge insecurity problem. And then I turn the page and laugh out loud by Calvin's reaction.

I think Calvin and I might be cut from the same cheesecloth.

Batman clasps the Waynetech Inescape 3000 Megacuffs on to Talon's wrists, assuring him that even he, Bruce Wayne...er, Batman, couldn't escape from them! Which means it takes Calvin exactly one panel to be free and running for his life. Batman loses him because how can even The Goddamned Batman keep the most escapiest man in the world secure?

Calvin runs straight to Sebastian's hideout to rescue Casey and runs smack dab into Bane's meaty fists.

Good thing his teeth are full of resurrection fluid!

Talon #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. This issue was excellent in the amount of Aquaman it didn't have. Also, I can't believe they're actually going to kill Calvin Rose! I know that would make him a practically immortal escaping and killing machine whose only kryptonite is drinking a slurpee too quickly but the main draw of this comic is that he can escape shit and he's a man Talon instead of a corpse Talon! And Casey isn't going to want to have sex with him anymore either. So my guess is that Calvin Rose escapes death in the next issue!