Monday, September 23, 2013

The Penguin! (as seen in Batman and shit)

Real Name: Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot
Occupation: Professional Criminal [Since so many bad guys are labeled as "professional criminals," I think there should be a category above "professional" for mastermind criminals like The Penguin.]
Marital Status: Single [But will mate for life eventually!]
Known Relatives: Mr. and Mrs. Cobblepot (parents, deceased; first names unknown) [You could have this entry for every human entry! Known Relatives: Mother and Father (probably!).], Miranda Cobblepot (aunt)
Group Affiliation: None
Base of Operations: Gotham City
First Appearance: DETECTIVE COMICS #58
Height: 5'2" Weight: 159 lbs.
Eyes: Blue Hair: Black

Oswald Cobblepot did not have a happy childhood; he was still young when his father died of bronchial pneumonia. Oswald's mother blamed this on his being caught in the rain without an umbrella, so she always insisted her son carry one. Though Mrs. Cobblepot was an invalid, she kept the family business--a bird shop--going with the help of her son, and her sister-in-law, Miranda.

Oswald's appearance, his name, and his ever-present umbrella made him the object of torment by other boys, who called him "Gobble-Gobble" and said he waddled like a duck--or a penguin. His only real friends were the birds in the family shop [I'd be hard pressed to agree that the birds were his "real friends."].

With the help of his aunt, Oswald attended college, majoring in ornithology, finding that he often knew more about birds than his professors.

But not long after graduations, Oswald's mother died. Her long illness had run up enormous debts, so much so that even the kindly Miranda was unable to help out, and everything in the store--including the birds who were Oswald's only companions [That's a more reasonable description of them.]--was seized by creditors.

Angry at what the law had done to him, Oswald was determined to switch to the other side and become a thief. He went to a known criminal, Angie by name, and offered is services, only to be laughed at and thrown out as Angie called him what the kids had called him years before--a penguin.

Oswald then made a vow: "before I'm through, The Penguin will be a name to be feared and respected! And the umbrella will be a weapon of crime second to none!"

When next he confronted Angie, it was as The Penguin, complete with the full-dress suit that accentuated his resemblance to that fowl. When Angie threatened him, he was shot dead on the spot, with the first .45 caliber umbrella. Angie's two accomplices quickly agreed that The Penguin would be their new boss [Gotham City Union Thug Rules: "You can't take over as boss if somebody outside the gang has killed the boss without first offering the spot to the rival."].

As his first job The Penguin stole a rare Prussian egret from a penthouse suite. He then escaped with his parachute umbrella, leaving his confederates to the mercy of the police--whom he himself had called [It's a wonder any of the local henchman unions would provide him with henchmen after this!]!

Soon after, The Penguin joined another gang, again taking over after killing the boss [See? The Gotham Henchman Unions are strict!]. His career of crime was off to a good start, much to the consternation of the Caped Crusader (see Batman I & II).

Ever since then, the Man of 1,000 Umbrellas has been one of Batman's mst implacable foes. Often he has based his crimes on birds and has sometimes employed real ones. His trick umbrellas are indeed formidable weapons, adding to his deadliness. The Penguin's comical appearance hides a vicious, murderous criminal mind.

He has one major weakness, however [Fish?]. This is his vanity, which The Batman has played on several times to trap the Bold Bird of Banditry.

Lacking either superhuman powers or athletic ability (though he is remarkably agile for one so fat), The Penguin relies chiefly on his trick umbrellas. He never goes anywhere without at least one of these, and sometimes carries a number in a special quiver.

He has adapted umbrellas to shoot bullets (sometimes with the canopy serving as a bulletproof shield), squirt acid, throw flames, and even spread the germs of psittacosis (parrot fever). His umbrellas have concealed swords, mirrors, and radios. They have fired gas and sneeze powder, and even served as parachutes, helicopters, and one-man rockets.

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