Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Lex Luthor! (as seen in Superman and crap)



PERSONAL DATA
Real Name: Lex Luthor
Occupation: Criminal Scientist, former Ruler of the Planet Lexor [I'm not even going to ask.]
Marital Status: Widowed
Known Relatives: Parents (first names unknown, both deceased) [That was surprising information. Lex had parents? NO!], Lena Thorul Colby (sister), Val Colby (nephew), Ardora (wife, deceased), Lex Luthor, Jr. (son, deceased)
Group Affiliation: Worked with various criminal groups on a temporary basis
Base of Operations: Various lairs, changing from time to time
First Appearance: ADVENTURE COMICS #271
Height: 5'11" Weight: 185 lbs.
Eyes: Blue Hair: Originally brown, now bald

HISTORY
The first time young Lex Luthor met Superboy (see Superman II), he saved the Teen of Steel's life by getting rid of a piece of Kryptonite (see Kryptonite) which was killing Superboy.

Luthor was then a teenager himself, and he admired the hero of Smallville. So when his family moved there, the two became fast friends. Superboy even built a laboratory for Lex, who set out to find a cure for Kryptonite.

He had already done what no youth could have been expected to achieve--he had created life in his lab [Big deal. Adults do that in their bedrooms and in the back seats of cars and in movie theater restroom stalls all the time.]! This protoplasm he made was to be the source for the antidote. But in his excitment, Luthor knocked over some chemicals, causing a lab fire.

Superboy blew out the fire, but his super-breath accidentally destroyed the protoplasm and the resultant fumes made Lex's hair fall out [Well naturally, now Superboy must die.]. Luthor blamed Superboy, claiming the Teen of Steel had done it because he envied Lex's genius. Superboy never got the antidote.

Young Luthor tried other inventions to make himself a great scientist, but when they failed, Luthor blamed Superboy, insisting he had ruined them. In time, Luthor turned criminal and was sent to a reformatory.

Lex's parents were horrified by their son's actions and disowned him [Let me guess: Luthor blamed Superboy?]. They left Smallville, changed their name to Thorul (an anagram of Luthor [Real fucking clever. Assholes.]), and told their little daughter Lena that her brother had died in a mountain-climbing accident ["But mom! Luthor's too lazy to walk to the fucking store! He spends all his time masturbating into beakers and showing people the life he created!"]. Not long afterward, Mr. and Mrs. "Thorul" were killed in an auto accident, and Lena grew up not knowing that her brother was the notorious Lex Luthor.

Luthor continued to bedevil Superboy as they grew up. It was in the summer between Clark Kent's last two years of college that Luthor unwittingly did the world a great favor. Overcome by the death of a friend that he was unable to prevent, Superboy had gone into retirement. A challenge from Luthor brought him back into action [Seriously? That's what the world owes him a favor for? As if Superboy wouldn't have come out of retirement at the first hint of a kitten about to climb a tree it could never possibly get down.].

Later, when Lois Lane (see Lois Lane) was doing a feature article on New England witchcraft, she met a librarian named Lena Thorul and planned to mention her in the story--complete with pictures. Luthor used his science in an attempt to scare Lois off the story. Superman discovered the truth, but he and Lois promised to keep the secret of Lena's identity even from her.

Lena later moved to Midvale, met Supergirl (see Supergirl), and finally married Jeff Colby, an FBI man who had once arrested Luthor!

Some time after, Luthor challenged Superman to a duel on a red-sun world, where the Man of Steel would have no powers. They discovered the people had slipped back from civilization to savagery. Lex began helping them, and they thought of him as a hero. He finally surrendered to Superman on the condition that his foe use his powers to send the water which that world needed.

The planet changed its name to Lexor, in Luthor's honor, and he married a young woman there, Ardora. He might have lived there as a hero, but he always returned to Earth to renew his feud with Superman.

Lena had a son, Val, and lost her husband. However, she did learn that Lex was her brother.

Ardora also had a son, but soon after Lex found an ancient battle-armor on Lexor, which seems to have caused erratic actions on his part. This led to the destruction of Lexor during a battle with Superman. Luthor blamed the Man of Might [Jesus Christ. Was that all Lex Luthor did? Constantly blame Superman for everything? "Goddammit! I shit myself! I'll get you, Superman!"] for the death of his wife and son. For a time, he had headquarters on a fragment of Lexor in the Atlantic, but Superman recently discovered it and arrested Lex there [Superman has the power to arrest people? No matter where they are on Earth? Has every country in the world deputized him?].

POWERS & WEAPONS
Like his Earth-Two counterpart [It's like the editors of this thing expect me to read the entries in order!], Lex depends primarily on his scientific genius, but with that on his side,he needs no powers and can create all sorts of weapons.

His new battle-armor makes him almost a physical match for Superman [And it doesn't look stupid at all!].

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