Big deal. It'll grow right back. And if it doesn't, she's rich enough to buy a new one.
Okay, that's enough banter. I have a lot of comic books to get through before I can read Forever Evil! So hold on tight, bitches! I'm turning these commentaries up to whatever the metric of eleven is! Probably ten!
Don't worry if that didn't make any fucking sense. We don't have time to stop every few sentences and think, "Hunh? What the fuck?" Just go with it! Sheesh!
Last issue, J.P. and Commodore 64 unmasked Riot and were super shocked to discover he was...well, I don't know who the fuck he was because the comic book decided to go all anti-dramatic irony on me. What did I decide that was? Undramatic Irony? You know, where the characters learn something on-panel but the reader isn't privy to the revelation? I suppose I could call it bullshit as well but there are children reading this.
A lot of shit has happened between issues. On page two, they're already confronting Big Daddy Riot.
Before a nice, leisurely conversation can begin, Cecilia flips the fuck out and begins throwing Blackjack tables. I can't say I'm surprised that talking didn't happen before violence. But I am surprised that Cecilia gets her arm ripped out right at the top of page four. Just like the cover! And over so quickly! That's impressive since most covers usually spoil the big surprise moment that comes at the end of the issue.
Pick your caption: "Like the way you were born was any better?" or "Mo's obviously not the brains of this team."
Commodore 64 is captured and dragged away while Riot's clones continue to battle Mo and J.P. and Cecilia and Abisha. That gives time for Big Daddy Riot to reveal his secret identity!
Surprise! He actually is Big Daddy!
Even though it was established last issue that the suits would only work for the person who first uses them, J.P. is able to use Cecilia's disc (which was originally his!) to become the Gold Green Team Power Ranger. It might be because his DNA was inside of Cecilia when she used the disc and the disc is kind of confused. Or it could just be that editorial thought it would be weird to have the big macho guy in the Pink Power Ranger Suit. Let me state, for the record, that I disagree. Anyway, J.P. fries all the clones left to battle the Green Team.
Meanwhile Commodore 64 is taken to his father's Secret Lair in Nice, France, where he can reveal his nefarious plot like a good maniacal villain!
Oh man! I don't have an heir! That means I need to discover the secret of immortality too! And how am I going to help the world grow without providing an offspring with severe Daddy Issues!
Is this the Scientific Version of "from dust to dust"? "From sperm to sperm!"
Oh Mo. You're still young! You'll learn!
Green Team #4 Rating: No change. Cecilia's arm will be okay when somebody sticks another dick in her. Disc! I meant disc! Sheesh. I can't wait until they figure out why J.P's disc worked on both Cecilia and J.P.! My bet is on the sperms!