Hey DC! We already had Deathstroke #1! This is Issue #21!
The issue begins with Deathstroke interrupting a group of mercenaries (or soldiers (or Wildstorm goons (or Image jerks (or 90s comic book bad asses)))) as they stand in a line
From right to left, they are: DEATHBLOW!, SPLINTERCELL KILLMURDER!, ASSASSIN'S CREED DEATHMACHINE!, BLOODMUSTACHE (with 80s cellphone accessory)!, MODEL OF GENOCIDE!, BLOODCOAT!, KILLER ENNUI!, and GOGGLES McDEATHHURT!
I think Anonymous would want me to make a penis joke here even though most penises don't spring directly from the kidney.
Deathblow: "If you hadn't noticed, Deathstroke, I have seven ridiculously named compatriots to help put you down."
Deathstroke: "I'm not going down. You are going down."
Deathblow: "Really? We're really talking about making each other go down?"
Deathstroke: "Look who's talking, DeathBLOW!"
Deathblow: "As if "stroke" after Death is any better! Where'd we get our names? 'Shittiest Innuendos Я Us'?"
Deathjob: "Ha ha. You were in Grifter."
Deaththroat: "SHUT UP! I'LL FREAKIN' KILL YOU!"
After Deathstroke knocks down Deathblow and his Death Cronies, Slade hops in the elevator and a page of confusing shit takes place. Being that I'm not as dumb as my fourth grade teacher testified to, I know that Deathstroke and Deathblow end up fighting in an elevator shaft. But the whole scene is poorly plotted and drawn since Deathstroke begins in an elevator shaft barely as big as his body which then widens to allow Deathblow to throw a flying kick at him. Also (and I just had this thought), wasn't Deathblow black in Grifter? Now I need to go back and check!
Yep. He definitely was. Maybe this building just has really strange lighting.
That is a big fucking gun though. Don't feel bad, Deathblow. I'd probably need a few extra people to help carry it as well.
While Deathstroke's bullet is traveling through the air, Slade has enough time to think about his first mission with Deathblow before they were super-heroes. He remembers delivering an Atari Jaguar to a children's hospital during a battle only to find out that the Atari Jaguar was a bomb. The children were heartbroken although if he'd have delivered Aliens vs Predator at the same time, they probably would have forgotten all about the war as they battled each other endlessly. Instead, Slade quit the Army vowing never again to cause children pain. Or maybe he just didn't like taking orders.
After that memory, while the bullet is still flying because Slade uses 90% of his brainpower and can think almost as fast as a regular person, Deathstroke thinks about his son Grant being born. Slade begins to remember how he needs to forget what Liefeld did to him and begin to remember some new stuff that makes more sense.
Like how Grant was killed in North Korea at the same time Slade lost his eye.
Slade realized that the soldiers knew where to find him because Adeline let them know so that she and Joseph could be safe. Still no sign of Rose Wilson though. She must be a clone of Deathstroke or Ravager since her history was never told in Superboy or Team 7 or
Except it isn't because the bullet finally hits the target and blows off his arm. Close enough. Immediately after, Slade stands up and a man in a suit hands him a briefcase. Really? The guy was just hanging out on the roof waiting to pay the killer? The man escapes by helicopter just as Deathstroke has to fight Deathblow and the Murdernauts once again.
"Noooooo! Why am I fucking white?! I'll be baaaaaaaaaaaa--!"
Although there's still a lot to be told. Like who is the mother? And how does Rose share so many memories with Joseph and Grant if she was raised separately and was so much younger? I suppose that's not really much of a question since this issue was simply to show that Deathstroke is getting a Rebooted Reboot.
Anyway. I didn't hate this issue or anything. It's just I feel the need to rank it really, really poorly because it's simply here to clean up a character that DC has handled poorly from the beginning. I'm also not a fan of just changing everything about a character with not even an attempt at an explanation. At least Twat Lobo makes sense in the grand scheme of the Reboot. It makes even more sense if Lobo still has his power where he can generate clones of himself from (while maybe not a single drop of blood since that could get too crazy) hemorrhoids or burned off genital warts. And maybe Lobo doesn't realize he has that power, so now Twat Lobo and Magenta Lobo and maybe other Lobos will start crawling out of the Universal Woodwork!