Monday, September 9, 2013

The Joker! (as seen in Batman and shit)



PERSONAL DATA
Alter Ego: Unknown
Occupation: Professional Criminal [I guess. Stalking is criminal behaviour.]
Marital Status: Single [But if you don't know his Alter Ego, how can you be sure?]
Known Relatives: None
Group Affiliation: None [I'd also except "The Bat Family."]
Base of Operations: Gotham City
First Appearance: BATMAN #1
Height: 6'5" Weight: 192 lbs.
Eyes: Green Hair: Green

HISTORY
Originally, the man who would eventually be known as the Joker was merely a nondescript lab worker, until the day he decided to steal $1,000,000 and then retire back into obscurity [This was his plan before he fell in love.]. To make certain he could never be identified by any of his facial features, the lab worker assumed the identity of the Red Hood, wearing a red cape and tuxedo and a metallic red mask that covered his entire head.

For weeks, the Red Hood looted Gotham City, successfully eluding capture by the police and The Batman (see Batman I, II). Finally, cornered by Batman and the cops while attempting to rob the Monarch Playing Card Company [Known for storing vast amounts of the legendary wealth made from selling playing cards to the many gamblers of Gotham City.], the Red Hood tried to escape by leaping from a catwalk into the catch basin for all the waste chemicals from the plant [Is there a lot of waste due to laminating playing cards?], a basin that emptied out into the nearby Gotham River. Using the breathing apparatus in his mask, the Red Hood swam through the thick of the noxious chemical wastes to freedom.

When the Red Hood arrived home, however, he discovered that he had not emerged from the toxic chemicals unscathed. Apparently, the chemical vapors from the waste had somehow turned his skin chalk white, his lips ruby red, and his hair a vivid shade of green. The shock of this transformation was more than the Red Hood's already unstable mind could bear, and he went over the edge into utter insanity.

Convinced this was some sort of sign, the madman took on a new identity, inspired by the playing card company that had been responsible for his transformation, and became the Clown Prince of Crime, the Harlequin of Hate--the Joker!

Originally a merciless killer who murdered his victims [Mercilessly!] with a venom of his own devising that left their lips pulled back in a rictus, a perverse parody of his own malevolent grin, the Joker quickly became the arch-foe of the Caped Crusader known as The Batman, challenging the Darknight Detective repeatedly to life-and-death battles of wits.

Though the Joker appeared to mellow for a time [Due to the Comics Code Authority.], he has recently returned to his murderous ways, becoming once again the most dangerous madman on the face of the Earth.

POWERS & WEAPONS
An average athlete and hand-to-hand combatant, the Joker is occasionally possessed of almost-superhuman strength while in the heat of battle-madnesss, thus making him more than a match for the physically superior Batman [Aha! So that's the comic book excuse for his abilities! BATTLE-MADNESS!].

The Joker also employs an ever-changing arsenal of weapons that are usually based on practical jokes: his joy-buzzer delivers a lethal electric charge; his trick flower squirts a powerful acid, etc. By far the most dangerous item in the Joker's arsenal is his so-called Joker venom, which can kill in a matter of instants, leaving the victim's lips pulled back in a hideous Joker-like grin. The Joker has employed this venom on rose thorns, on the tips of darts, and on the edges of playing cards that have been razor sharpened [Wow! I didn't know poison could be used on so many things!].

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