Does anybody out there remember DC Challenge? Holy shit what a train wreck that was! I think I have it lying around somewhere. I should do a special commentary on that series. It was, ostensibly, a round robin comic where a new author would take over the story each issue after the previous issue ended on a cliff-hanger. But most of the authors just started new storylines when their issue came out and I believe many of them just ignored the cliff-hanger endings of the previous author! It was absolute batshit.
Sorry! I didn't mean to compare Stormwatch to DC Challenge! That was just a random aside! Stormwatch is much better! But maybe not this issue! I don't know since I haven't started reading it yet! I'll start reading it next paragraph.
Idiot! When it goes crazy, you're walking through radiation! Sheesh!
OH MY GOD! I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT ALL BACK!
Back on board the Eye of the Storm, the ending to Grifter #7 is immediately spoiled for me as I learn that Midnighter "uses enough explosives to kill it" and then the editor gives me a note to read Grifter #7 to find out what they're talking about. And in the editor's note, it says Grifter #7 will be on sale March 14th. So even if I wasn't behind in my reading, this comic would have spoiled Grifter for me anyway! Thanks, DC!
Well, I guess if Midnighter is on a mission, he's going to win out and kill the enemy in an exaggerated fashion. So I guess nothing was spoiled. As soon as I saw Midnighter in the comic, I would have known what was in store for the antagonist.
Stormwatch detects some weird shit happening at the Chernobyl site so Apollo heads down to check it out.
Looks like the artist used the pictures from the site I linked to as reference. Every couple of years, I find myself rereading that site. Simply a fantastic piece of work.
Oh! Speaking of "I told you so", I remember seeing this video from one of those crazy Fox television shows about people nearly dying or some stupid shit. And it was of a group of Australian school kids out hiking with some teachers. And the teacher is filming a couple of girls out over a canyon walking along a thin and dangerous trail. So you hear him as he's filming say, "Don't go over that way, girls. It's too dangerous." And then one of the girls slips and falls! And he follows her fall to the bottom of the canyon with his camera while shouting, "I told you not to go over there!" Man, what a dick!
So The Engineer sends Jack down to the Ghosttown to speak with it. I can't imagine that's going to go very well! It may have been a city once but now it's definitely just a dead place. The way Stormwatch has Jack speak with the Avatar of the cities, though, means he'll probably speak with a radioactive mutant beast creature. I think Jack should arrive and just start dying from radiation sickness himself since that's really all the city is at this point. Just a bloated mass of wood and stone covered in radioactive fallout.
BLAH BLAH BLAH RANDOM QUANTUM THEORY BLAH BLAH BLAH
No idea what happened to Jack Hawksmoor, though.
Oh, there he is. Why aren't Hiroshima and Nagasaki taking care of Fukushima as well?
But before Jack can return, the Daemonite ship (which they refer to now as "Charlie" although they really should be calling it Shodan) tries to kill the creature. The creature reacts oddly to being killed.
It's yelling, "Guacomole!" in Old Portuguese.
"What are those things!?" she yells! See? That'll get some answers!
How much do you want to bet they find a way to stop them? Hey! Here's a suggestion! Use whatever was used to stop them the other time they came to our universe!
Stormwatch Issue #7 Rating: No change in rank. This issue was more fun than not fun! Is that a decent review? I know I didn't pun appropriately like a real reviewer. "Reading Stormwatch is more fun than watching a real storm!" No, no, that sucked. "The Tale of the Gravity Thieves really sucked!" Maybe this issue would have received a rise in the rankings if it wasn't for all the techno-jargon. Some of it is okay because we know the whole situation is bullshit. But geez! He just wouldn't shut up with it! I'm pretty sure he just kept opening a Quantum Physics text book and randomly pointed to different words for his explanations. But none of that really took away from the book! The MAIN reason it didn't get a Plus One rating was because it ended with one of the Stormwatch team saying a major threat was coming and there was no way they could prevent it. Oh, come on! Stop giving up already! I bet by the end of the first page of Issue #8, you'll begin to have a plan! And I'll bet Jack Hawksmoor will be behind it! And I'm not even psychic!