Sunday, April 22, 2012

Suicide Squad #7


Shouldn't Deadshot's face mask be showing through the Joker mouth?

Harley and The Joker's face are locked up inside Gotham Police Headquarters. The Suicide Squad needs to break them out and steal them away without anybody knowing any of the members were there. Actually, they can probably leave Joker's face where it is. And why do they even need Harley Quinn back? So Amanda can slap her on the wrist? It can't be because nobody can find out about Task Force X because all of DC's covert groups suck at being covert and everyone knows about them all.


Lime and Light can do more than fly and shoot energy blasts? Maybe they should have used these powers to escape Green Arrow. Maybe they should use these powers to get famous without actually committing crimes!

The plan is for King Shark to destroy everything in his path as Lime and Light disguise him as Clayface. And even though Clayface is currently in Arkham, that doesn't matter because the frequency with which people break out of Arkham makes it so the police never question it when an inmate is suddenly on the streets throwing a fit.


Wait wait wait. Hold on a second! I thought nobody could know you were here!? Like I said, DC's Covert Groups do not understand what covert means.

In Panel Three of the comic, Deadshot says how nobody can know any of them are there. And then in Panel Four, Deadshot and Savant are busting police heads without wearing ski masks or anything! Great plan, Jerkshot! Oh well. I think maybe the Black Razors are still covert. No, no. I take that back. When they tried to capture Timber Wolf, they shouted at him who they were before trying to apprehend them! Perhaps Stormwatch is the only really covert group because they have the Projectionist who can manipulate the media and make everyone forget about Stormwatch after Martian Manhunter appears to them and tells them all about his secret group so that he can get information and then never remembers to wipe their minds.

Harley Quinn is already loose in the precinct and has found what she's been looking for.


Now she'll kidnap some guy, hot glue the face to him, and fuck him all night. That's what I would do.

Savant finds Harley first. He gets the first punch in and bloodies her nose. She doesn't draw blood at all but she wins the battle.


I hope Savant survives. Because I want one half of Lime and Light to die this issue!

And I guess Savant is going to live!


It's like the whole horrible group of villains created in that awful Green Arrow story line were meant to be Suicide Squad fodder!

Next, Harley catches Deadshot in the dark. And he always switches over to infrared. So Harley is prepared with road flares. And her sledgehammer. When Deadshot comes around, he's tied to a chair and Harley is putting the Joker's face over his. She wants to talk to Mister J and Deadshot plays along long enough to get his hand free and pull another gun on Harley. Man, Harley! Don't you know Deadshot ALWAYS has another gun?


Now the Police out on the street aren't going to come into the station to find their coworkers knocked out until Deadshot can get untied and remove Harley from the scene? Another covert team without a proper exit plan.

Suicide Squad Issue #7 Rating: No change in the ranking. Still a fun comic book. If you look at the story with any kind of realism, it's a complete train wreck. No care is being taken to really make the Squad covert except for the occasional mention that they need to be covert. Deadshot and Savant left a bunch of eyewitnesses in the form of every cop in the station. And they all definitely know who Deadshot is. Savant has been left in a cell (although Deadshot might rescue him on the way out). Lime has been killed by Amanda's nanobombs in front of another batch of police. Does Waller think the police will just throw the body in the morgue and forget about it? They aren't going to figure out it's Lime who was put away at Belle Reve by Green Arrow? This is Gotham! Batman is going to investigate this whole incident in his free time while sitting on the toilet! And then Batman and Amanda Waller are going to have to have another one of those major confrontations!

So if the comic is being judged on how well Task Force X is doing their job while remaining in the shadows, well, it loses 42 ranks. But I'll let all of that shit slide because it seems like the only thing a covert team needs to do to stay covert in the DCnU is say that they're covert!

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