Thursday, April 5, 2012

Hawk and Dove #5

How come the Inker and the Assistant Penciller don't get a byline on the cover? Also, more square fists!
I noticed that Hawk and Dove makes like it's a comic written by one guy and drawn by one other guy. But the inside credits show Adelso Corona as an inker as well as Rob Liefeld. And Liefeld even has an "Assistant Penciller" which is a title I don't think I've seen in any other comic. But he gets his name all alone on the cover as the artist. That's some fucked up shit, Mr. Liefeld. Especially for someone who was part of the creator's rights movement. Give everyone their credit, sir!

This comic begins with Deadman trapped in a "Chaos Crystal". So maybe Swan is the Avatar of Chaos now! Can we have that Avatar back? Hawk speaks some Old Portuguese nonsense and uses Deadman's magicks to open a portal to someplace he calls home. He then enters the portal with Swan claiming that once inside, nothing will stop him.

Hawk and Dove are busy chasing monsters along rooftops in an effort to find out what happened to Deadman. While they're doing this, Hank is thinking about how his brother Don was killed when he was seventeen. And Dawn is thinking about how she got her super powers at seventeen and how she and Hank had to fight a monster named Kestrel. Oh! Remember him? The Avatar of Murder!

Who is the 'you' that Hawk is talking to inside his own thoughts?!

Hawk and Dove are chasing down a creature named Gob that Xanadu said could help them find Deadman. Gob is some demon thing that lives in Salem.

I didn't know Dove breathed through her eyeballs.

Hawk and Dove take a break from seeking Deadman to have a chat on a rooftop. And I can't quite concentrate on the poor dialogue because of Dawn's hand.

This is why Liefeld likes to draw square fists!

Out of nine panels with Hank and Dawn speaking, that's the only one where Liefeld tries to draw an open hand. Here's a panel where he Radar O'Reilly's every single hand.

I'm pretty sure Dawn is playing with her nipples.

Hawk and Dove chat long enough to not really resolve any of their issues. They then head to the place the demon told them would lead them into the Realm of War. They pass through and discover Condor in his Pure Birdemental form!

Nice use of your Danger Sense power, Dove!

Do the kids today get Dark Crystal references?

And I'll point out the Evil Dead quote while I'm scanning.

Condor tells Dove that he can see the whole Circle of Avatars and she isn't part of it. He says she's above it somehow. Which must be why he both knows everything and doesn't know anything about her all at the same time.

Condor thinks he can beat Dove but he doesn't know her secret! That she can absorb Avatars into her vagina!

Defeated by lady parts!

Yeah. Whoa.

Dove defeats Condor with her Golden Hole but Swan gets away. And Deadman, after witnessing what can happen to anybody that gets too close to Dove's Lady Business, promptly breaks up with her!

I don't blame you, dude!

And that's the end of Issue #5. I don't know what it is about this comic. Nothing is done well and yet it somehow works when all put together! I enjoy reading this comic. It's fun. Or maybe making fun of it is fun. I don't know and I don't think I care! As long as I'm enjoying reading and writing about it, that's what really matters.

But it isn't good enough to go up a rank. I'm not going to reward it! Sheesh!

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