Thursday, April 5, 2012

Static Shock #5

How does one become a man with a piranha head? What if he'd gotten a gerbil head? Would he still have gone into crime?

In the last issue, Static was thrown into the Hudson River and being dragged to a watery grave by a couple of newly made super villains: The Firestone Man and Mr. Concrete. His electric powers aren't any good against these guys because of what they're skin has become. But he has another trick up his sleeve.

Just no. NO.

I'm all for Static Shock knowing how his powers work and using normal physical laws to his advantage but I'm not all for the assumptions he makes being correct! Please tell me why a man who has been transformed into a walking rubber tire also has steel belts lining the inside of his new rubber skin? What universal law would make him suddenly transform exactly into Steel Belted Tire? And why would the man who turned into concrete automatically have rebar set within him?! This may just be a comic book but even I have my limits on what I'll buy!

I phrased that wrong because I'm still 'buying' Captain Atom comics when they suck everything.
Static gathers up the nogoodniks and takes them to police in time to make his curfew! Another story wrapped up nicely. Except we're only on page four. So I guess there's more.

A whole bunch of confusing more. We learn about Static's origin. How he ended up on Paris Island the night of the Big Bang because he wanted to kill a guy who had been picking on him. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. And then some gas or something was released and he and a bunch of other people gained super powers.

Piranha gets the wins the bid for some job for the crime syndicate because he killed Static while the jet ski kids couldn't handle it. But the Main Mojo wants to know for sure if Static is dead since no body was recovered. So he tells Piranha to bring him one of the Lindbergh Babies. I have no idea what he's talking about but they kidnap one of Static's Sharons (you know, his sister clones). So Sharon must be one of these Lindbergh babies? But how can she prove Static is dead? And apparently Sharon has been kidnapped before. I think that's when she came back as two Sharons.

Static is now on his way to save Sharon (or Clone Sharon. Does it matter?) But that will happen next issue. I just don't have anything else to say about this issue. It gave me Static's origin which I didn't know before this but the rest was just confusing. Maybe if I knew more about Static before reading this comic, I'd like it. But as it is, I'm really not sorry to see that it's been cancelled.

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