Sunday, November 30, 2014

Green Lantern Corps #36

I got this Lego Character for my collection and it managed to get half of the other characters killed while accidentally destroying all of my sets!

The Green Lantern Corps should shut down their operations for a few months and just observe the universe for a bit. You know, to really see if they're needed. So far, the only cosmic crises they've dealt with were caused by themselves or the fact that they exist. So they battled Volthoom who they couldn't bear to kill because he was the first Lantern and a historical artifact. They battled the Third Army which were created by the Guardians of the Universe to make the universe easier to take care of. They battled Relic who was trying to destroy them because they keep using their rings. And now they're battling Highfather who only wants the rings for his own selfish purposes. I think if you take the Green Lanterns out of the equation when looking at all the cosmic crises that they've been through, then the cosmic crises never happen at all. Perhaps it's time to hang up the rings for awhile, guys. Except that might be the biggest battle of all! Trying to convince a bunch of the most stubborn people in the universe that they're not actually helping.

Currently the Green Lantern Corps and several of their friends are vacationing on Qward. Or is it in Qward? Now maybe if they just stay there and ignore the New Gods, everything will settle down and it'll all go back to normal once Highfather realizes that Kyle Rayner, Comic Book Artist, is the only fucking dope in the Universe that can handle the White Ring. I mean, he's the only fucking dope that wasn't resurrected by the ring that can handle the ring. The same ability that allows a comic book artist to believe he's doing awesome work when he draws a woman with her ass and her breasts facing the reader at the same time must be the same ability that allows a person to master the White Ring.

One of the Bohemian Guardians suggests that to defeat the New Gods, they'll need every color of the spectrum. He stole that idea from my conclusion to last issue's commentary, the little thief! Also, it's the only conclusion Lanterns can come to. That's why Hal ran off to recruit the Black Lanterns and now John has decided to fetch a few Star Sapphires. Nobody seems to care about finding an Orange Lantern though.

Soranik has a right to be concerned! John leaves a trail of dead friends wherever he goes!

Soranik shouldn't worry so much. The Star Sapphires are already losing dozens of their members to whatever New God is attacking Zamaron. The one with the skull faced helmet and the bow. But a bunch of swords infused with White Light wielded by John and his small team which includes Kilowog, the Weaponer of Qward, an Indigo Eagle for teleportation, and a Green Lantern that's just a massive eyeball with tentacles (because the team needs a Red Shirt on it) arrive to save the day. Or at least offer a path to retreat back to Qward. Once there, they can sit around for a bunch of issues gathering Lanterns of different colors before assaulting High Father and finally winning the day, for some reason. That reason will probably be because the Lanterns understand emotions and we humans think emotions make us powerful and not weak like they really do.

Don't tell that to Ollie! He uses his bow in close combat constantly!

Stewart and his team and the Sapphires put up a less horrible fight than the previous Lanterns have put up against the New Gods. But they're still defeated. The Tentacled Eyeball is captured and the rest of the Lanterns trapped beneath an unbreakable net. Or is it truly unbreakable?! It has not yet been tested against the Power of Love! That's almost as powerful as the Heart of Rock and Roll.

Guy's never going to let John hear the end of this one.

John's love tethers him to the rest of the Corps and he breaks everybody free from the prison to take them back to Qward. Except for Penelops the Tentacled Eye Lantern. He's just too icky.

Green Lantern Corps #36 Rating: I'm sure there's probably something intellectual to say about the theme of love in this issue and the breaking of traditional gender roles and the courage of sacrifice and the humility of trust but I can't come up with any of it because John looked fabulous! I hope they come out with a John Stewart, Star Sapphire, action figure at some point. I like how it looks slightly as if he's in the ballet. Although I'd have given it more feminine touches than it has. It's a bit too similar to his usual Green Lantern outfit. And for a ring that's never had to concern itself with male versus female fashions, I would expect it to continue to create outfits it's used to, ones with a bit more flair and flamboyance, not to mention low cut shirts and bare midriffs and naked legs and thong behinds.

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