Trick or treating in Gotham, I'd expect a pumpkin full of bullet casings and used needles.
Oh yeah! Speaking of pleasure, I was going to discuss how our society views sex differently depending on the gender of the person engaged in the act. I think before we can entertain the possibility of social equality when it comes to men and women engaging in coitus, we have to first change the language. When teaching some young person (or grown ass person raised by their Auntie Grizelda), the act is usually described as the penis entering the vagina. Although, really, it depends on how many inches the penis is if we're going to accurately state it entered the vagina! Perhaps people that know what actually happens during sex (don't look at me! I keep my eyes closed!) say something like the penis enters the vaginal opening. The vulva? Or the labia? Labias? The cricket?!
Anyway, forget all that! I'm getting distracted! What I meant to point out is how our language, even when just describing the act in regards to the reproductive organs, places the male organ as the subject and the female organ as the object. The lady parts are seen as passive while the male parts do all the banging. And since language codifies thought (or something more accurate that doesn't sound as smart), what the person being told about sex hears is the man acts out sex on the woman. That puts the power in the penis and, thus, the man (though, just so you don't shut me down for erasure, not in all cases. This is a general discussion of the (boringly) average populace. I don't have time to go over every individual case. Well, maybe I do. But I'm not going to since I barely know about the case that would most likely involve my reproductive parts!). So from now on, we should describe sex as the vagina enfolding the penis. I suppose you could also use engulfing or swallowing as well but that might frighten young boys away from the vagina.
Although is that really such a bad thing? Frightening boys away from it? Why don't we just say vagina have teeth? I mean, we already have a social contract between adults and children that allows for adults to lie to them as often as possible. They lie about the tooth fairy and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Stork and Jesus Christ. Why not tell boys that women's vagina have teeth which fall out during the woman's first time having sex? And by "fall out," I mean latch on to the penis and lacerate the fuck out of it? I suppose that would cause more trouble than it's worth since the first time a boy and girl engage in sex (because they really, really love each other and plan on spending the rest of their lives together and never think about fucking anybody else ever), the boy will want to know where the woman's vagina teeth have gone. Then he'll think that she's already had sex and he'll pout and cry and be a little douche because, even at that young, innocent, naive age, he already thinks a woman belongs to him and that she owes it to him to not have had sex before she even met him. And then the girl will have to tell the boy how she had a really bad bicycle accident where she fell on the bar really hard and knocked out all her vaginal teeth.
Maybe it's best just to be honest with kids!
So did we learn anything? No? Oh well. I guess I'm not the person to be educating other people on whatever I thought I was trying to educate them on. How did Catwoman fit in to this discussion?
I don't even know how Catwoman fits into the discussion of Catwoman?! What language is this letter in? Prig Latin?
Now instead of jewel heists, this book is going to be about crime family drama! Except it hadn't been about jewel heists for quite a while anyway. Remember when Ann Nocenti had Selina declare she was done with jewels and gems?! I think it was because of Eclipso. Holy shit was that an awful story. Just like all of her other stories!
Selina is suddenly fascinated with the reign of Elizabeth I. Did she rule England? Was she the one that was around during Shakespeare's time? Didn't she enjoy that fucking Faerie Queene bullshit by Wrong Way Spenser? I don't know if that was Edmund Spenser's nickname or not, but I think he would have liked it!
I hope in four hundred years, people call the end of the 20th Century the Tessian Age! How do I become powerful enough for that to happen? Is it too late? Did I make my first mistake by being born to the wrong mother?! Stupid mom!
I like the premise of this story. I like how it's working around the events of Batman Eternal in much the same way Arkham Manor is. But it's just weird that it's a Catwoman story.
I think Selina and Eiko are going to become good, Teen Plus friends. If you get my meaning! I mean, video game sleepovers and gossip parties and roller skating and getting drunk on wine while discussing Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn's Teen Plus relationship.
I'd rather you write it for me! What are you talking about?! Does this have something to do with that "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" song?! Is this a reference to Elizabeth I?!
Glad to see Selina saying "Fuck you!" to Batman. Even if it is just with a look. Maybe especially because it's just that look!
As I've stated before, Batman loves to lecture Selina every chance he gets. And he doesn't miss the chance this time either!
Goddamn this comic book has needed more of these two having real fucking interactions.
Catwoman #35 Rating: +20 Rankings! Okay, okay. I'm just a little giddy from the non-Nocenti I just didn't partake of. Or did partake of! Stupid negatives. Whatever! I suddenly have high fucking hopes for a huge turn around on Catwoman! Hey, Genevieve? How would you feel about writing Klarion soon?