Friday, November 28, 2014

Bat-Mad Lib Eternal #32

Hush (verb, present tense) Spoiler in the (body part) while Batman (verb, present tense) Hush right (preposition) the ass.

Last issue, (animal)man mostly just (verb, past tense) around in his Bat(conveyance). But (preferred pronoun) did manage to (comic book feat I can't remember because it happened last month). So that was something(punctuation mark)

Alfred Pennyworth, Batman's (synonym for indentured servant), teamed up with (ethnic super villain) to escape the ruins of Arkham (place where people are treated horribly). Alfred has been (adverb that is not fucking literally) hallucinating due to an injection (super villain with a stupid name) gave him directly to his (organ which men use to make decisions). But he's (comparative) now!

The issue ended with (something a librarian says) about to kill Cluemaster's daughter, (part of a car).

How come whenever a character has a (ranged weapon that doesn't kill people because people apparently kill people, quite often with the ranged weapon's help), they always get too close, allowing their opponent to (verb) them?

Batman arrives to (verb) the (unit of time least likely to encounter a bat) using his personalized take on the (weapon co-opted from another culture). Hush lobs a (fruit) at Batman and Spoiler which causes a huge (noisy event not usually involving children). When the (noun) clears, Batman finds that Hush and Spoiler have pulled a (famous DC Comic Book character) on him and disappeared.

Later, Batman returns to (verb) Bat(non-human body part) because he loves him. Or he just doesn't want Batwing's (inevitable, depressing, horrible fact of life that we constantly try to ignore by having loads of sex, eating lots and lots of decadent foods, and immersing ourselves in constant yet ultimately meaningless distractions) on his conscience. Or he was just (verb, past tense) of hearing Batwing mutter over the Batcom, "(desperate plea) (selfish pronoun)!"

Alfred (worthless monetary unit)worth is a bad ass. He had ('a' or 'an', depending on how pretentious you'd like to sound) historic building dropped on him and only needed one small (brand name item used to refer to all items of like type) on his (body part that isn't penis or vagina because you've probably already used those).

Meanwhile on the roof of the (Gotham building full of corrupt assholes. So, you know, any of them), Jason (Dungeons and Dragons character class) and Hush finally meet face to (body part often used in sex) to talk (the best sex) to (the worst sex). (Yes, I realize the wording in the previous blanks will wind up with Jason Bard and Hush meeting to talk doggy style to anal. Or meeting to talk with my soulmate to my first time.) I (verb) this is the first time Hush and (minor character with a limp) have met to show they're definitely (gerund) together.

(entire paragraph that basically amounts to "Scott Lobdell is a lousy writer.")

Jason Bard goes to visit (poor man's Lois Lane) to discuss what he's learned about Hush's (plural noun). At the same time, Batman notices somebody has (illegal but cool verb to do, past tense) the MacGregor database. That's the listing of all of Batman's (adjective) weapons caches across (fictional city that means village of goats). For anybody too (adjective that isn't 'retarded' but could be if you are an insensitive bastard!) to figure out (math equation), I'll spell it out for you: (super villain) (verb, past tense) (article) (noun)!

Oh (expletive)!

The final pages play out with (repressed vigilante with a sad social life) being framed for (overused media noun adjunct) attacks all over Gotham City. When is (character I don't care about) going to step up and do something about this (other character I don't care about) before all (fictional place used to keep people nice by being afraid) breaks loose!

Batman Eternal #32 Rating (in which I've already filled out the Mad Lib blanks): Dog farts extrapolate polar median hibiscus monstrosities. Phallic raiment devolves upon shoddy platonic wet dreams. Demonstrative police savage inane pituitary concerns. Batman? Why, tuberculosis, of course!

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