Friday, November 21, 2014

Green Arrow #36

Does Green Arrow always have to be in the act of shooting an arrow on the cover? I get it! He's an archer!

The last issue ended with Felicity Smoak telling Green Arrow that she had been hired to kill him. We know from the television show that she's the best hacker in the entire universe and would never be caught hacking into whatever she's hacking into. So as soon as Diggle says he's found traces of a hacker, we (the readers! Not the Royal 'We'!) know it's all a setup. Felicity obviously just wanted to meet Green Arrow and get his cock all up in her. That's sexy romance literature language for making love. The only other option is that Felicity is a huge badass mercenary death monster and she's about to kill Oliver Queen!

This issue begins with Mia Deardon pickpocketing people on the streets of Seattle. She's the person some person named Mr. King is trying to hunt down. So I guess she's important somehow. Maybe she has diamonds in her stomach. Her friend Trevor calls her "Speedy" so we know where this is going! Right? Maybe you should tell me.

Anyway, Mia's pursued by some business suited thugs but is saved when some guy who knows her mother murders them all. It's practically a coming of age story by Charles Dickens or maybe Edgar Allen Poe.

Oh look! It really is Felicity! Because Oliver points out she talks a lot! Just like on the television show!

Felicity casually mentions that she knows Green Arrow's secret identity because Kreisberg has to get her onto the team as quickly as possible! We've already watched how she joined the team on the television show and we don't want to rehash all of that! Especially since it took so long. And hopefully Kreisberg will avoid the huge mistake he and his writers made on the television show by making Felicity a love interest of Oliver's. Jesus Christ, television writers. Does Oliver need to have a relationship with every woman on the show that he isn't related to? And that might not even be a limit! I bet Thea puts the moves on him at some point since she's only half related to him!

Felicity tells Oliver that only she and some street girl can help Ollie catch whoever hired her to kill him. And that's that! She's on the team! And I don't mind that they trust her so easily since who wants to read three months worth of comic book stories where they dance around that fact that she's inevitably going to be on the team anyway? I'm sure Diggle or Ollie will eventually whisper to the other one, "Are you sure we can trust her?" And the other will say, "What choice do we have?" And that will be the end of that!

Meanwhile the man that wants Ollie dead is playing John Lithgow's character from Dexter.

Mixed with a little bit of the "Brother" Blood character from the television show. I guess Oliver always has to battle other people that have a vision to save the city. But in the wrong way!

Mister King mentions Bethany Snow and Channel 52 News, so I guess that puts Ambush Bug in current continuity! Ha ha! In your face, DC Comics! Now I know he's out there somewhere!

Mister King tells his henchmen to hire some guy that will be able to kill Ollie and Mia and the guy she was saved by, Mack Morgan. Who will the assassin be?! I doubt Deathstroke will be headed over to this comic book for this job. Maybe it'll be that guy Stillborn that tried to kill Deathstroke when Rob Liefeld was "writing" that series.

See? Talks like she's from Sunnydale! Oh, I, um, mentioned that last commentary, didn't I?

Judging by the arrow, the killer must be Merlyn. Notice how nobody is shocked that this guy was assassinated by an arrow? The whole archer schtick is way overdone in Starling City Seattle.

With Felcity's help, Diggle and Green Arrow track down Mia and rescue her from King's men. But just when they think they're going to get away and gather up the evidence to convict King of whatever horrible things he's been up to, King's assassin arrives so that they have to have another think.

Merlyn's face is probably messed up from that time the oil rig exploderated all over Ollie's wild oil rig party.

Green Arrow #36 Rating: No change. I guess Merlyn wound up on an island adjacent to the island that Oliver washed up on where he learned how to use a bow and arrow but just a little bit better than Oliver did. I don't think Seattle should be full of archers. Its heroes should be fire dancers and Burning Man refugees.

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