Olive joins the Cult of the Bat!
This issue begins with snippets of Millie Jane Cobblepot's secret sex diary.
I think she's writing about her clitoris.
Later in History Class, Heathcliff and Pom Fritters nearly bang on a desk. I think they've been banging all over the school at night making everybody think a ghost is haunting the buildings. Sometimes I hear the neighbors downstairs banging and I put my mouth really close to the floor and I say in my deepest, most guttural voice, "Put it in my butt."
All of this is to say that Olive and Pom Poms wind up having to do their Gotham History project together. It's because they're Fremeses! That means that they are each the Fremesis of the other! Because Fremeses is the plural for Fremesis, of course! Their relationship is probably going to be a lot like Buffy and Cordelia's relationship. Except hopefully sexier.
I need an artist to draw pictures for my Roller Playing Game, Places & Predators!
Here's my version of a Serpents & Spells Character Sheet:
Don't worry, other readers! I wasn't talking to you! Just that smart aleck that couldn't resist a Harry Potter shout out. Fuck Harry Potter! He's just a Frodo wannabe! Frodo and Sam's love story was far greater than any of that juvenile romantic twaddle in the Potter books! Probably!
In the library, Olive and Pommel Horse find a version of Millie Jane's Diary with a map of the North Hall and the cemetery behind it. It's a mystery to be solved! And who better to solve mysteries than a bunch of meddling kids! Although they don't have a dog that one of them hallucinates can talk. That could hurt their ability to trap the old man in the ghost mask.
What are you talking about, Pomeline? That was always so funny when the little black kid with the rich white gentrification specialist used to say that! He did it better than I can!
Later that night, Maps and Olive follow the Cult of the Bat out to the cemetery behind the North Hall. That's where all the hauntings have been happening! I'm so scared! They might encounter a g-g-g-g-ghost! Especially after they find the secret entrance to the old Cobblepot family crypt and head down into the darkness!
Screw Alysia Yeoh! Maps is my favorite New 52 character! Not my favorite character I want to have sex with! I'm not a huge and complete perv! Anyway, my favorite character I want to have sex with is still a toss up between Vampire Tig and Supergirl's Bum.
Gotham Academy #2 Rating: +1 Ranking. The art alone is worth reading this book. And the characters alone are worth reading this book. The mystery isn't enough to keep reading this book because it's just stringing the reader along for the sake of keeping an air of mystery so far. But I think a lot will be revealed next issue, and since there are so many other reasons alone to be reading this book, the mystery can afford to take its time!