Green Lantern #42

I wonder what this mysterious "Medusa effect" is all about?!

Remember when allusions to classical mythology and The Bible were mainstays of literature? Now it's all Simpsons references and fart jokes. I must say, I'm equally at home with any of those.

The issue begins with an old school comic book introduction. "Formerly the leader of the intergalactic police force known as the Green Lantern Corps, Hal Jordan is now hunted by cops and criminals alike. Wandering an ever-changing universe, he's about to discover that some unfortunate truths are 'WRITTEN IN STONE.'" If it had begun with "For your consideration..." and was half-hidden in a haze of smoke, I'd think this was an episode of "The Twilight Zone." Although if it were a Twilight Zone episode, there would be nearly no need to read it because there's an 85% chance that the theme is "Loneliness will drive you crazy."

Hal has just visited the space where Oa used to be and where Mogo once resided. It's empty now. He's now zipping through space with his ship, Darlene, his captive, Trapper, and his sidekick, The Little Prince. Hal is heading toward the Little Prince's asteroid to drop him (and his captive) off so he can search for the missing Green Lanterns. It's too bad they had to disappear because he was about to have a really great adventure ignoring the fuck out of them. But they always do this. They always pull him right back into their drama!

They arrive at The Little Prince's asteroid and it's not the reunion Little Prince was hoping for.

Technically they're just turned to stone! You just need to find a competent magic-user of high enough level to cast Stone to Flesh.

Trapper's thug friends ambush Hal Jordan in orbit around the planet. I know Hal Jordan is going to survive this battle because he's the last Green Lantern (technically!) and the title of the book is Green Lantern and not Trapper's Thuggish Buddies. But after seeing just two of Trapper's crew, I'm kind of wishing the title of this book were Trapper's Thuggish Buddies.

Oh Mr. Goggles! Who's a silly boy?! You're a silly boy! Aren't you a silly boy?!

Hal Jordan does not get vaporized at all. Not even close. To celebrate, Hal decides to have a double page splash of himself flying amidst a storm of Pop Rocks. It's as big a waste as any double splash page by David Finch or Tony S. Daniel except--and I truly hate to say this. It hurts down to the core of my being to type this--not as good looking. Sorry, Billy Tan. I know you can never forgive me for that statement nor would I ever ask you to. Although now I'm wondering why they never had any savory flavored Pop Rocks, like Meatloaf Bonanza Pie or Jalapeno Dude Ranch.

Hal Jordan loses control for a few seconds and almost kills Mr. Goggles and his buddy Flipper Lobes. When he loses control, he looks at his glove as if it's to blame. Hey Hal? Might I suggest you stop blaming your emotional problems on your attire and maybe go see a Space Therapist?

And then something completely unexpected happens if you purchased the Teen Titans Go Variant Cover of Green Lantern! And also if you forgot about how everybody on the planet was a statue! A tiny space rock that just missed Hal Jordan's ear as it flew by in orbit bangs into Mr. Goggles' ship's windshield!

No! Mr. Goggles! He was my favorite DC character ever!

Mr. Goggles' ship crashes into another ship which crashes into another ship and they all turn to stone. Hal Jordan decides to let Trapper out of his cell so he can see what has happened to his crew and realize that he's all alone now. Just like if this were a Twilight Zone episode! Except this is one of the happy ones because he's going to find out that he has friends in The Little Prince and Hal Jordan (but not Darlene. The ship doesn't need any more friends and dislikes the ones she has anyway). Since The Little Prince is the last person alive from his world, Hal allows him to choose Trapper's punishment. The Little Prince must be a fan of Seinfeld because he chooses to make Trapper his butler.

Meanwhile Black Hand is thinking about changing his name to Stone Hands because, well, his hands are now made of stone. Not just any stone! They're made of the Source Wall! And anything which touches it turns to stone. So he's having a problem raising an army of the dead because they all just keep turning to stone. I guess releasing all of those creatures from the Source Wall way back in Cosmic Green Lantern Crisis #432 was a bad idea because once they turned back into Source Wall, they were free to float about the universe Source Walling up the place. Is this where the kids would just type "smh"?

Green Lantern #42 Rating: No change with a caveat! I like what's going on in this comic book but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its flaws (like that double splash page that was mostly green Pop Rocks!). I do like the idea of Hal Jordan forming a starship crew to cruise the galaxy getting into wacky adventures. The only problem with it is that only one comic book comes out per month. This feels like an idea that could last a long time. But after one year, people will be thinking, "He's still in that stupid ship?!" But one year of comics is hardly any story at all! So I have a feeling the whole Hal Jordan, Space Pirate, story arc isn't going to last as long as I'd like it to last.

At the end of the books this week is a short interview with Brenden Fletcher and Annie Wu. I don't know what I said to make Annie want to kick my ass but I'm sorry, okay?!

I no longer like anything written by Brenden Fletcher, just on principle.

Judging by the interview, Brenden Fletcher's entire idea for Black Canary was that she knows Kung Fu and has a great voice but she has no stage presence and therefore she will eventually do Kung Fu on stage and be a big hit. Everybody applauds and goes back to talking about bands you've never heard of, probably because some of them were made up during the course of the conversation.