Aww! Violence is so cute! I'm going to put on roller blades and go stab somebody!
If I had to honestly assess my little part of the internet, I'd say it's just slightly above "shit" because--I mean, I just have to face the facts--I don't really have anything important to say. And even if I did, it's about comic books! And nobody should care about comic books when we have out of control police officers believing they're all goddamned Judge Dredd, and old white men believing woman's bodies should be legislated, and an increasing number of bigoted assholes hiding behind their religion to treat other people like shit. How poorly Scott Lobdell is writing Jason Todd should be the least of our worries.
I think that's as close to a compliment as I'll ever give Scott Lobdell!
At the end of the last issue of Harley Quinn, Popeye was beating up a couple of the Harleys. Now Harley and the rest of the Gang need to swoop in and beat the living shit out of Popeye the way Bluto never could.
You know who was to blame for all of that violence between Bluto and Popeye (and maybe Brutus if he was a third person and not just an alternate name for Bluto)? Olive Oil. I know that wasn't much of a revelation which is why I chose to end it in a period instead of an exclamation point. If she didn't just keep leading them both on and just chose one (since Popeye and Bluto obviously weren't into anything more vanilla than monogamy), they wouldn't have had to beat the shit out of each other for decades. Although I suppose either one of them could have just been an adult about it and moved on with their lives. I suppose it wasn't fair to Olive that she had feelings for both of them and she couldn't decide on which of the violent bastards she wanted to spend her life with. It's also possible that Olive Oil didn't love Bluto at all and he was just a creepy rapist that wouldn't leave her alone. I can't remember the last time I saw a Popeye cartoon. One thing I know for sure! It was bullshit the way everybody decided to call the pacifist "Wimpy." You can always count on the majority to come together on any issue by attacking the pacifists and atheists!
The first few pages are spent on catch up Narration Boxes, some first act Law and Order procedural bullshit, a long comment on gentrification, and then a mugging. I'm sure Popeye will be coming up soon!
I know I shouldn't be judging Harley by her intelligent schemes so I probably shouldn't mention how putting a bomb in a cell phone that explodes when it's out of your vicinity is a bad idea, considering how often people misplace their phones.
Harley steals Popeye's spinach (which is actually irradiated seaweed) and eats it herself so that she can get huge forearms. But instead she just gets a hallucination in which she plays the part of a pirate. Her pirate ship is named Bernie. So I guess she set out to sea in her vagina.
Before the year is out, this hallucination will have its own mini-series.
While Harley was out of it, the rest of the gang confronted Popeye and were defeated.
Hee hee. Behind! Don't you pervs fap to this image scan! Go out and pay $3.99 to fap to it like the rest of us!
Harley Quinn #18 Rating: No change. I'm not entirely sure if this is an anti-drug comic book, an anti-spinach comic book, or an anti-fisherman comic book. I suppose it could be all of them as well as a slight anti-gentrification screed and a bit of a rant against the modern materialist culture. It's also possible it's just a story about a bunch of women kicking ass, taking drugs, and fucking. The fucking part isn't blatant though. It's things like Harley in the hospital with an "IV inside of her" and The Joker's Blunderbuss going "BANG" and how Harley never minded Ivy's "seafood buffet" smell before. It's all really classy!