Martian Manhunter #1

It might just be me but isn't taking the name "Manhunter" sending the wrong message if you're an alien wishing to befriend mankind?

I think the issue begins with a crack deal. Except the dealers are children and the crack is Oreo cookies and the junkie is Mr. Biscuits. Mr. Biscuits is probably one of Martian Manhunter's aliases since "Mr. Biscuits" is way friendlier than "Martian Manhunter" or "Grogg the Childchomper." Of course Mr. Biscuits might just be another Martian who hasn't discovered Oreo cookies yet because the children bring him a bag with a random assortment of cookies inside of it. But he'll learn! Everybody learns the power of Oreos.

Mr. Biscuits has red eyes and green skin like J'onn but he wears a sack over his head not like J'onn. That's probably significant in some way that will be determined after the scene where Martian Manhunter rescues a plane from falling out of the sky. That's the kind of thing Superman would usually do except he's too busy dealing with a bullshit story arc about his loss of powers and his loss of identity. Since nobody seems to care that Martian Manhunter is the most powerful character in the DC Universe (probably because his weakness is fire which is easy to introduce into a plot for added tension whereas Kryptonite is a bit harder to just throw into every Superman story), he gets to continue to be really powerful and to be a hero. Nobody would call J'onn a boy scout! Mostly because martians aren't allowed to be boy scouts.

As J'onn struggles to save everybody on the plane, he has a hallucination.

We learned in the Sneak Peek that J'onn hallucinates constantly.

J'onn's greatest weakness isn't fire at all. It's being unable to comprehend reality. Most everything in this comic book isn't actually happening. I'm sure J'onn is just standing in an elevator ranting and raving as everybody decides to just take the stairs.

J'onn's currently suffering from a megalomaniac delusion that he was created as a living weapon to conquer Earth. He's probably channeling Superboy's thoughts right now. Being a strong telepath, he just can't keep other people's thoughts out of his head. It's probably how his delusions manifest.

As J'onn is saving this plane, wars break out all over the Earth because something called The Epiphany is taking place. I guess that's where Mankind suddenly realizes that the Martians are really in control and they're about to kick ass and chew whatever Martian's chew as a sweet snack but which they're currently out of.

But Martian Manhunter has a plan! He heads to NASA to ask Helen Demoff to kill him. I like that plan! It'll save me $2.99 per month!

I think Mr. Biscuits is the real Martian Manhunter!

Even though it seems like a cheat, I wouldn't mind if Mr. Biscuits turned out to be the real Martian Manhunter and the one saving the plane is the one that's made every appearance so far in The New 52. Let him be a weapon that was meant to destroy Earth. His characterizations have been strange ever since he appeared in Stormwatch. And we never did learn why he battled the Justice League way back when, did we? I'm sure it was because he's actually a monster. At one point in this issue, he's called a monster and he reacts a bit defensively. He can sacrifice himself to save Earth from the other Martians while Mr. Biscuit turns out to be the J'onn J'onzz DC Comic readers are used to. He's already been established as loving cookies. That's a huge clue!

Martian Manhunter #1 Rating: I don't know about this series yet. I need a second issue before I can decide if I like it. There just wasn't a lot of meat on this issue. It basically boiled down to everybody finding out that everything wrong with the world is because of the lizard people martians disguised as human beings. Helen Demoff even catches a glimpse of one as it reads the news. Just like one of David Icke's videos!