Black Canary #2

Is "Search and Destroy" their next rival band?

When I was sixteen, I attended the Monsters of Rock show at Candlestick Park in San Francisco. The bands playing were Kingdom Come, Metallica, Dokken, Scorpions, and Van Halen. I barely remember Kingdom Come and whatever song they had playing on MTV at the time and I really didn't know much Dokken besides that Dream Warriors song they had for the third A Nightmare on Elm Street movie. I was a fan of Van Halen and the Scorpions, and a passing fan of Metallica, so I wasn't super familiar with the lyrics to their songs. When Metallica played "Seek and Destroy", James Hetfield told fans in the mosh pit to beat the shit out of anybody who wasn't singing along to the song. So I swayed and danced and stomped around making it look like I was singing because I'm a huge pussy who didn't want to get his ass beat. I really enjoyed the parts that went "Searchiiiiiiiiiiing...seek and destroy!" Because that part was easy to pretend to!

Metallica always had a sense of snobbery about their music. It was almost as if the people who knew their music before ...and Justice For All were somehow better than every other fan of music to ever exist. It's also possible they were just angry that they weren't making as much money as they thought they should be making. Judging by their black album, I'd be inclined to say that was the reason for their bad attitude. That album was awful when compared to their previous albums and yet it sold like thrash metal hotcakes (if you ordered them without any thrash metal). I'm not one to argue that they sold out. Bands have a right to evolve and grow and change in their sounds. But fans also have a right to say that their new album didn't sound anything like the band that they loved and to drop them like a hot potato (or maybe, in reality, a luke warm potato with a friendlier edge to it).

This issue begins with the band practicing firing guns instead of practicing riffs and key changes.

Why are so many comic books now using this muted color palette? Is it artsy?

The band Black Canary has a problem. They're being hunted by Alien Scribble Monsters because their underage guitar player named Ditto is a monster from another world. Probably. But Ditto just wants to be human and play music! I bet where Ditto is from they're not allowed to play music or have feelings. But now Black Canary (the band! Not the person!) has to protect Ditto while also trying to fulfill their studio contract by completing a tour to promote their new album. Apparently nobody gets paid by the studio unless they complete the tour which seems like crap since it's their record. Also I might not understand the entire premise of the band on the road plot. I always have to leave enough wiggle room for my poorly rolled 9 intelligence score. Good thing I rolled 18 on Charisma, right?!

Target practice is interrupted by the band feeling weird and sketchy like they're being watched. And they are being watched! By the Alien Scribble Monsters with invisible spaceship technology. Dinah decides they should pack up and head out but not before she discovers Paloma Terrific is a deadeye marksman. I wonder what Lord Byron and Heathcliff's special powers will be? I guess Lord Byron will be the seductive one and Heathcliff can probably do math really well or something.

Meanwhile Burnside Tofu continues to waste precious space in their zine on Black Canary reports. Burnside Tofu is really going all in on Black Canary! If they hit it big, Burnside Tofu can brag all over Burnside about how they discovered them and how they were fans from the start and how nobody else truly gets Black Canary! They're just fans of the band because it's popular to be fans of the band! And even if Black Canary doesn't make it big, Burnside Tofu can point out that they should have made it big but music fans are cretinous weasel porkers who wouldn't know a jammin' riff full of intense passion from an obvious hook chosen purely for how many albums it will sell.

Oh! Oh! Who is Heathcliff sending this too? Pomeline or Olive?! Or Miss MacPherson?

Maeve (or Bo), the ex-lead singer of Ashes on Sunday (now Black Canary!), appears just as I was thinking the comic book didn't have enough characters in it. Sure, it's got a four piece band and a merch table guy. But Dinah can't be in most conversations about how Dinah is ruining the band and Ditto doesn't speak. So that leaves a lot of interactions between Paloma and Lord Byron with Heathcliff saying things that nobody cares about because he's not actually part of the band. I think Bo should be asked to join the band because she's totally my favorite character ever and always has been and always will be forever! Maybe she can drive the bus at least since the band probably doesn't need two singers. It's more probable that she'll become Dinah's Nemesis.

The story is interrupted by a pull-out insert describing the band on one side with the poster that is in the background of every other DC Comic on the other side. I'm going to hang it on my wall right now!

Bo runs off before she and Dinah can get into a physical altercation for practically no reason at all and then the bandmates argue about whose past is more secret. Dinah decides maybe shopping will sort it all out.

While out shopping, Ditto and Dinah perform some kind of sound voodoo which reveals one of the people following them in the invisible spaceship. Dinah kicks the stalker's ass and then takes off the helmet to reveal it is Kurt, her husband. That probably means that the band is being pursued by both Alien Scribble Monsters and the government's new version of Team 7. Ultimately that means more venues are going to be destroyed in the near future.

Black Canary #2 Rating: No change. This is a competently written and beautifully drawn book that's telling an actual story. Having an actual story being told in a comic book is always a plus. You might think that every comic book on the racks is telling a story but you'd be mistaken. Some of them are just using the pages as places to store the characters while they're not really doing anything in the comic book lives. They just kind of do the same thing over and over again while readers yawn but continue to buy the placeholder comic books because their favorite characters aren't currently being used in an actual story anywhere else. Having characters with motivations who are dealing with impediments to their goals? That's always a plus! You would think that most comic books would be capable of this, especially in the first few issues. Some story idea had to be pitched to get the comic book out the door, right? Wrong! Apparently you can just pitch an idea as vague as "Jason Todd and Roy Harper hang out together and fight bad guys." Black Canary isn't that. It has groove, it has meaning. Or something.