Demon Knights #23

Hey DC! Why don't you just cancel all of your comic books and just make them "Superman and X" or "Batman and Y"?

Even if DC was selling a book called "The Greatest Written and Drawn Comic Book of All Time" (and that title was true!), fans would turn their nose up at it and call it terrible and pass it up on the shelves to pick up some shitty piece of shit written by some shit writer simply because a favorite character was in it. How do I know this? Because Etrigan and Vandal Savage are two of my favorite characters! Of course I hate Madame Xanadu so that balances things out a little bit. But you know how I know this comic book has been written well? Because I like Madame Xanadu in it!

Wait a second. That actually might mean that this comic book is written poorly because they've gotten Madame Xanadu's characterization all wrong! No, no. This is the version of her that was passionate and in love with a Demon (while being in fake love with the man tied inextricably to that Demon). This version of her was before she realized she can coast on her past accomplishments and constantly tell everybody that the world was going to end if they don't immediately bring her a Caramel Cookie Frappaccino or wash her car. So that's all right then.

I believe another reason this series didn't have as many readers as it should have had is that it was basically outside of continuity. People seem to really like that continuity thing. "I want my stories to have repercussions on the greater universe!" Or some such shit. Of course that isn't true. This book tied in to Stormwatch and Swords of Sorcery and Team 7 and All Star Western. Sort of. If you were into that whole Eclipso Crossover event which, as an "event", really wasn't very good. Some of the individual stories were fine and I did like how it tied in to and wrapped up in Swords of Sorcery.

The art in this series hasn't missed a beat for 23 issues. I suppose it was time to stumble here on the 24th. It's passable comic art, mostly. I chose this panel because Ystin looks so goofy. I think Phil Winslade could have used an inker on this issue. I also have to wonder why he's doing the art on this final issue. I suppose the other artists moved on to non-temporary gigs!

Oh, while I'm mentioning the art which I rarely do and should be kicked in the balls for not doing so so often (also, I should think my sentences through better and stop making them linguistic jungle gyms), Howard Porter delivered another spectacular cover! God damn, just between the covers of Issue #22 and #23, I've become a huge fan of this man!

Meanwhile on the writing side of things, the Giants are bombing the poo-diddly out of al-Wadi. And just to show that I'm not thoroughly unhappy with Phil Winslade, I'll scan the Demon Knights reaction to the bombing.

This is a good job of what I consider standard comic book art. It doesn't jump out at me as really pumping hard any of my aesthetic orifices, but it doesn't detract at all. It does it's job and, I think, it does an above average job for an artist without an inker taking on a completely new book by himself. Now if al Jabr were recovering from a stroke, this would be fantastic!

During the chaos of me commenting on art and giants bombing al-Wadi, Brickwedge and Sarah have a nice little moment.

I hope Brickwedge and Sarah show up in another comic book at some point.

Brickwedge shares in the immortality granted by the connection between Sarah and her horse, right? RIGHT?! Oh man. I'm going to be sad of Brickwedge isn't immortal. More sad than I am knowing that I'm about to finish the last issue of this comic book! I wonder if I can make reading it last forever! Won't you join me on my forever read, Georgy? We all float down in here in the forever read! Forever and ever and ever, Danny!

Speaking of Stephen King, when The Dark Tower series ended, I left the last chapter unread for a few months. And then I couldn't take it any more because what the fuck was I doing? It's not like I was extending the pleasure of the book! I was just keeping Roland from gaining any kind of resolution! So I read it and it was what it was and now I've forgotten most of everything anyway. I remember there was a boy and a werewolf and people lit out for the territories and the boy's father's business partner was the ultimate evil and he tried to form a paradise of evil in Las Vegas when Captain Tripps killed everybody. Remember Captain Tripps? M-O-O-N! That spells Captain Tripps! Did any of y'all read Desolation? I'm pretty sure it was Stephen King's Wasteland (see the similarities in title?) where he brought together bits and pieces of all of his books and stories up until that point. Not like he fit them all into the plot or anything. But I think he mentioned them or characters had connections to characters in other books or...or...or maybe I was dreaming. It's been a long time!

Not that T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland was about bringing all of Eliot's writings together! The comparison was that The Wasteland was adrift with the flotsam and jetsam of Eliot's culture and King was kind of doing that with Desolation except the cultural cache was knowledge of Stephen King books instead of knowledge of whoever was the Beavis and Butthead of the early 1900s and other intellectually stimulating topics of the time. Perhaps I could have just said the current zeitgeist! No, that's stupid. And German!

I think I was supposed to be drinking sake while celebrating the life of this comic book as I put it in a dusty box for good! But it's five in the morning and stupid American Puritanical Liquor Laws say I can't buy alcoholic beverages until eight in the Ante Meridiem! Stupid laws. I can get drunk and crash my car just as easily at 8 AM as at 5 AM!

The city is getting pummeled and all they can talk about are Giant Bowel Movements and Xanadu's proficiency at hand jobs.

Remember that Eclipso crossover I mentioned? This issue is part of that since Exoristos seems to have left the Black Diamond which Lucifer had given her in the treasure vaults of al-Wadi!

Where has she been keeping that key? In her purse? Or purse-like orifice?

Now I have a bad feeling that Exoristos isn't going to survive this battle! Because that would just add another piece of the puzzle to the journey of Eclipso's Black Diamond. Although I don't see al Jabr getting his own New 52 title, especially at seventy years old. I'd read it, of course! But if not many people are reading this series that stars Vandal Savage and Etrigan and, I guess, Madame Xanadu, who's going to pick up al Jabr, Muslim Miracle Man? He could have lots of guest stars, I suppose. And he could be like Bill Nye or Beakman, teaching kids science and the way of Allah! Okay, so somewhat like Bill Nye and Beakman.

Jason Blood returns to Hell instead of going toe to toe with fifty thousand giants. Coward. Wait. Is Hell worse than fifty thousand giants? Maybe he's not a coward. Maybe he just hopes Etrigan gets squashed. Although if Etrigan dies while on Earth, does Jason Blood get to come back? I'm assuming Lucifer wouldn't make Blood's return easy.

How does this giant know what an ant is?! As if it has ever seen one! The giant should say, "Smash them like peasants!" Because giants probably call people "peasants" because they're the size of peas.

During the battle, Vandal Savage is blown out of his cage by one of the giant's bombs. And then al Jabr and his troops unleash their surprise science attack!

Wait, that wasn't a surprise at all! Stupid cover!

Oh Shining Knight! You're so silly! Don't thank God for science! God only created science so that people have to obey laws and limits of the universe. Meanwhile, He's off gallivanting around the universe creating miracles out of thin air and wiping his ass with the Laws of Thermodynamics! What a douchebag.

Al Jabr and his men hurl spears down on the giants from above but the giants block them with their shields while yelling, "Cowardly insects!" You know what, Mr. Giant? I'm sick of you referring to tiny people as miniscule creatures you probably never even have to deal with! How would you even notice or see a flea or a mosquito? They no doubt can't penetrate your thick hide. You should be calling them "birds" or "snakes" or some other creature that probably bothers you more than insects could. I bet birds are like insects to giants, always flying up their nose or building nests in their ears.

Oh! Except I'm forgetting this is a Fantasy Dungeons and Dragons type realm! There are probably giant ticks and giant ants and giant fleas and giant spiders and giant flies and giant everythings that have evolved simply to pester the giant humans! Giant dragons and giant orcs and giant owlbears and giant gelatinous cubes and giant giants! And then the giant giants probably have giant giant ticks and giant giant ants and giant giant fleas and giant giant spiders and giant giant enverythings! Are you still reading this paragraph? You see what I'm doing right? It's never going to end but you kept right on reading hoping for a better payoff than escalation and repetition! Good for you! Brownie points!

But then al Jabr reveals that he had a better idea than the balloon idea that was already spoiled on the cover! He has one last card up his sleeve: the Black Ace of Diamonds!

Phil Winslade's art is much better than it sounded like I was giving it credit for across this issue. He has done a tremendous job as the fill-in for this final issue. Huzzah! Or something.

So the Giants are collecting Earthly treasures for some unknown Daemons! The Demon Knight World has been built into a great place all its own. There is so much richness in 1043 CE that I think this book could have just run for hundreds of issues if it were prior to Crisis on Infinite Earths. Modern Comics have given comic books and their fans just as much as they've lost. Continuity and more mature stories, plots that make sense (for the most part), characters that evolve and change and learn and fuck up: these are great things. But I think fans aren't willing to invest as much time in comic books from a mainstream company that don't directly tie in to the world of their favorite characters. It's a shame because I'd really love to see more variety than flying people in tights. And Batman.

Al Jabr's plan works. The giants kill themselves fighting over the Black Diamond. Hopefully whichever giant is left standing takes the Black Diamond and scuttles off to whatever Daemon Realm he came from. Or else he might turn into a giant Eclipso and destroy everything! But that probably won't happen since I'm reading a bunch of other comic books that take place in this world's future. Etrigan himself heads back to his Demon Realm to leave Jason Blood marveling at the carnage.

I love al Jabr! I need more al Jabr stories! Hopefully a House of Secrets series is in the works and he'll get some story time in that!

What does that say about me that all of these fanpeople on Tumblr are into young characters with lots of relationship drama and I love the old Muslim science man?! I'm going to write some al Jabr fanfic after this!

Vandal Savage escapes during the battle. And after the battle, al Jabr takes up the Black Diamond from the battlefield. He conducts a little experiment out of emotional earshot of the others and finds that the Black Diamond and the Holy Grail cancel each other out when in close proximity. And so he has a solution to keeping both the Grail safe from those who would abuse it and everybody safe from the evils of the Black Diamond. It's also a solution that allows for more stories in the future!

This is a mark of a great comic book! It ended in "Fin" rather than "NOT THE END!" or "THE BEGINNING!"

Demon Knights #23 Rating: +1 Billion Ranks! This comic book made me happy. It was endearing and charming and beautiful and full of adventure and lesbian princesses and immortal assholes and a vampire hermaphrodite and a sarcastic horse and a talented woman with disabilities and a Muslim man of science and an epic search for a lost artifact and a trip to Hell and to Camelot and to Paradise Island and so fucking much awesome was in this book. But most of all it was fun. IT WAS A FUN COMIC BOOK! I'll miss it dearly each month.

I'd like to thank all the artists and writers and colorists and letterers and editors that worked on this book. I never felt like I was ever being let down on this title. So thank you,

The Writers
Paul Cornell who created the series and the link they had with Stormwatch.
Robert Venditti who came on board and didn't miss a beat, continuing the top notch writing and letting the characters keep their character!

The Pencillers
Diogenes Neves who made this book one of the best looking books of The New 52.
Michael Choi and
Robson Rocha for filling in the gaps when Neves couldn't be bothered. I mean, was overworked!
Bernard Chang for, like Neves, really kicking some visual ass on this thing.
Chad Hardin for his work on the late issues that didn't pop quite like Neves and Chang but had a style that I adored.
Phil Winslade for really bringing this book home even though I wasn't so sure at first. Great work after all is said and done!

The Inkers
Oclair Albert,
Julio Ferreira,
Dan Green, and
Wayne Faucher for doing what they do for the pencillers. If I went back to look at Penciller/Inker combinations, I'm sure I'd see exactly what each of these talents brought to the book. But I'm a bad fan and so I'd just like to thank them for helping make everything so pretty.

The Colorists
Marcelo Maiolo for imbuing this book with a bright, fantasy look. Marcelo nearly colored the entire run and only missed the last few issues. This book wouldn't be the same without Marcelo's outstanding palette on every page.
David Curiel for filling in the final few issues and not making a misstep. The colors popped all the way to the end.

The Letterer
Jared K. Fletcher lettered every fucking issue and kept Etrigan speaking divinely! Or, um, Unholyly!

The Cover Artists
Tony Daniel
Tomeu Morey
Norm Rapmund
Philip Tan
Jeremy Cox
Alex Garner
Howard Porter
They all did a tremendous job and I'm sure more fans would have picked this book up if only the way local stores purchased comic books were different. But with the margins they make, how can they order enough extras without risking the loss? I can't imagine how many fans never even saw how good this book looked on the shelves.

The Editors Chris Conroy,
Matt Idelson,
Joey Cavalieri, and
Kyle Andrukiewicz. Thanks for never intruding on the story. The best editors are the ones I never rant and rail against, and I believe y'all got away from my venom Scott Free!

and, of course, Jack Kirby for creating Etrigan right around the same time my parents were creating me.

I began the first commentary of Demon Knights with this: "Please let this comic be good. I have Jack Kirby’s original sixteen comic run, the initial Demon 4 part mini-series, and all of the second run by Alan Grant and Val Semeiks." And now I can happily add this Demon run to my box of Demon comics from the last forty years or so. Long live Etrigan!