I just reread my commentary on Issue #22 where I completely deconstructed myself. I think everything after that commentary is just quietly spooning and glancing at the digital clock glowing in the dark across the room while trying to figure out how quickly you can make an exit without being insulting.
That's my break-up speech to you if I ever suddenly disappear from this blog. So you should bookmark this page or save it in a notepad file or something so you can have some closure when the day comes that I get hit by a bus and no more updates are forthcoming.
Hey, I'm just being realistic here! I love running in front of buses and quitting things. So I'm bound to disappear. It's best that we're all just prepared for it beforehand. Whew. That feels so much better. Now that we both know our best times are behind us, the pressure has lifted. I feel like I don't have any reason to impress anybody anymore. It's sweat pants and loud farts time!
This issue begins with Wonder Woman and her party in Room 41, The Lair of The First Born. It's filled with Gnolls which shouldn't be too rough a fight seeing as how Wonder Woman and eighty percent of the rest of her party are Epic Level.
I'm including the baby in my calculations.
As Hera and Zola try to find somewhere to hide in the middle of the battlefield, I realize I fucked up my calculations because I'd forgotten that Hera was made mortal. But they'll be okay since they have Zeke the Epic Level Infant That Is Probably Zeus to take care of them. But now that War's army is distracting the Gnolls, Wonder Woman and Orion can take care of The First Born.
Orion's opening move is the Superfly Splash.
There may have been more details to the Prophecy but it's best not to concentrate too hard on the details of prophecies or else you just end up outwitting yourself and being the catalyst for the prophecy to come true.
Now let's return to the action!
The First Born's finishing move is the Ringside Folding Chair Blindside.
Whoa. I sense some serious sibling rivalry here.
I suppose that makes Diana Prince the God of War?
Superman: "Everybody's here now. We can get things started once we figure out where those empty liquor bottles are and clear them out of here. It's like there's a refinery up my nose!"
Wonder Woman: "Think you're sho cool. You're not cool. Goody two-shoes ish what you are."
Superman: "Excuse me? Are you okay, sweetie pumpkin?"
Batman: "Here's the scoop, Clark! Hot off the presses: she's drunk. Some fucking investigative journalist you are."
Superman: "No! Not my supremely virtuous sugar bosoms! Are you sure it's not Cyborg?"
Cyborg: "Man! I knew you were racist! Bitch."
Wonder Woman: "He's sho rashisht. Totally hatesh Earshlingsh."
The Flash: "Hal is going to be so pissed he missed this."
And after The First Born has taken out all but one of his Epic Level opponents, the Zero Level NPC Baby Bearer finishes him.
Critical hit, bitch! Although it is with an improvised weapon. So she couldn't have done more than D6 Damage, really. Good thing Wonder Woman put him down in the single hit points with her blow.
Oh! That's so poetic and touching! ... Wait a second! What is Hera gaining from this?!
Wonder Woman #23 Rating: +1 Ranking. With Cliff Chiang at the helm, this book has some of the most beautiful, stylistic art of The New 52. And with Brian Azzarello writing, this series has some of the most well crafted dialogue as well. It's a treat to read and it really does stand somewhat outside of The New 52 which is a really welcome thing at times. Wonder Woman doesn't have to deal with her stupid relationship with Superman over here or the whining, pouting Facebook posts from Steve Trevor hoping she'll take him back. She can just be a compassionate bad ass doing her thing in her own story. I haven't read much Wonder Woman over the years but I have a feeling this is going to go down as one of the best runs of Wonder Woman ever.