Batgirl #23

Is this story about Gordon hunting Batgirl or Daddy keeping Ricky away from his little girl?

Gail Simone once asked on her Tumblr what people thought of tagging artists in posts about the artists. Did tagging a Tumblr post that criticized an artist's work count as trolling? This is probably pertinent to what I do since I'm a tiny bit critical of Scott Lobdell's work and his talent and his lineage. But when I began this blog, I never even considered that the creators would see anything I was saying. It didn't even cross my mind! I tagged the artists and the writers and the main characters because I figured fans of those things might be interested in what I was writing. I barely expected anyone to read my blog, really. But then Marcus To found a Batwing Post where I simply savaged his cover. And then I felt really bad.

What's odd about that particular commentary is that I tore apart Judd Winick's story as well and yet ended the commentary with this positive review: "Batwing #12 Rating: +1 Ranking. Ha ha! Look at how much I can bitch and still enjoy reading a comic book! What the fuck is wrong with me?" And part of the reason I really enjoyed it was Marcus To's art. And yet I never once complimented the art! I really suck at talking about the art unless it's really, really horrible. If it's amazing, I might throw a line at it which says, "The art is amazing." But mostly I'm concerned with being a huge dick. Once again, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

So to answer Gail Simone's question about tagging and trolling, I never even considered it. I just figured people might want to laugh at what I think of specific comic books. And they need a way to find those specific comic books, right? Sure, now I know I'm being a troll though! So thanks for pointing that out, Gail!

Another thing that usually makes me feel bad when I'm really on a roll trying to destroy the self-esteem of a comic book writer is to see their face. Fucking Lord Google! When I look up "Howard Mackie" to see how much experience he has at punctuating the English language, I don't need you to throw up a picture of him without my consent!

Lord Google: "Hello Governor! Did you want to know about Howard Mackie? Well here he is! He's an actual human being with feelings and dreams! Look into his eyes! Now imagine tears streaming out of those eyes, dick."
Me: "Fuck you, Lord Google! Just give me what I'm looking for and stop trying to guess what I want!"
Lord Google: "Would you like to see his family as well? I can get you a picture of his dog but you won't be able to kick it from there."
Me: "Stop judging me!"

Batgirl begins with Daddy visiting Knightfall in her lair at Three Towers. It's named that because it's three towers. Knightfall isn't the most imaginative psycho in Gotham.

How about charging her with keeping a dolphin in the wall?! She's a monster!

Knightfall makes me miss writing Batgirl's Diary so I can get her and her henchjerks' names wrong. Ignore that apostrophe if I got it wrong. Sometimes when I'm placing punctuation, I think, "What would Howard Mackie do?" And then I think, "I don't have enough time to type out that many dashes."

Meanwhile Babs is out shopping with Alysia in a part of Gotham I've never seen before.

Nobody's getting murdered! Although I have a feeling that baby might be that couple's lunch.

Last month I asked if women use the same sex as baseball analogy as men do and now Barbara is telling Alysia that there "was some first base action." Technically, Babs, that could mean that you threw Ricky out at first. Or that the first base coach slapped you on the ass. Or that the first baseman was caught on camera adjusting his jock. But I understand what you mean! There was kissing! My next question is this: Are cricket analogies used in England and India and other places that think cricket is an entertaining pastime? Not that I think baseball is any more entertaining than cricket! I'm bored to tears by both of them. But I'm not bored to tears by sex! Although sex usually ends in tears. Tears, not tears. Duh.

Tears and tears being two completely different words reminds me that I hate some English words with irrational passion. The one that I almost constantly read incorrectly is, in fact, "read". I read to children. Go ahead. Tell me how that "read" is fucking pronounced. Stupid words.

Alysia and Babs are inappropriately approached by two daft punks and Babs threatens them with a bit of broken crockery. Why ya gotta make the alternative looking guys be the assholes? The assholes should have been some other social group that would have made other people angry instead of me! How dare you portray young white men with tattoos and no shirts as being insensitive to beautiful women! Just keep perpetuating that stereotype! Oh wait a second. I'm not a young white male with tattoos. Also I'm wearing a shirt. Although I have to wonder if I weren't so shy, would I have been a total prick to women in my younger days? It's like watching Dances with Wolves and wondering if you'd have been as culturally sensitive if you had been raised in that time period. Most people think that because they have modern views of sex and race and culture that they'd be the exact same person if they were born in the 1600s. Of course you wouldn't. You'd probably be an asshole.

Meanwhile Daddy Gordon plans on interviewing Ricky about his meetings with Batgirl. But Ricky is a bit busy at the moment.

So Ricky. Do you prefer to be stuffed into the crisper or spread out among the various shelves and milk trays?

Ricky makes one final call before heading out to get killed. He breaks up with Babs because he's fairly certain she's not going to keep dating a corpse. Second base is coming up quick and it just wouldn't be the same, you know? Luckily for Ricky, Barbara Gordon is Batgirl!

Jim Shooter: "Wait. That redhead with no bat symbol on her is Batgirl? I'm so confused."

Um, thanks Jim! But nobody asked you your thoughts on this comic book. In fact, I'm pretty certain that I swore you off. Go back and be a dick while judging comic books and their creators over at your lonely, mean-spirited little blog!

Ouch. I think I just hurt my own feelings.

As Ricky is trying to get away from Jim and Melody on his way to help his brother, he makes a bit of a miscalculation.

Oh ha ha, Mrs. Simone! Very clever. Refrigerator = cooler = prison. Well played! We'll be seeing you, Ricky!

Gordon calls for an ambulance and back-up and then notices a picture of Ricky and Barbara on the kitchen table. Now he's going to have to kill arrest his daughter as well as Batgirl! Because she got to first base with an attempted murderer! I think that's known as aiding and abatting. Oh! I just realized the Baseball Sex Analogy is appropriate because they use bats in baseball! Wow, I'm so quick!

The cops nearly kill Ricky but Babs, having driven the Batgirl Cave to Ricky's location by following a GPS tracker App she downloaded to his phone, knocks them out and saves his life. Babs has given up Batgirl so she's simply dressed as The Ginger Ninja. Damn. That would be a good future name, Babs!

The next page is the double spread of Villains Month. I'm actually stupidly excited for September! It'll also be my 42nd birthday on the 26th of that month, so plan on seeing a bunch of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quotes as I begin rereading the five book trilogy.

Oh man! Ricky has now entered the abandoned school to confront the Sixty-Eight Kings and that's when I realize the guy with the Plasma Rifle isn't wearing a funky Bane mask but is wearing a device for his broken nose! Holy shit. That medical paraphernalia is cooler than probably half a dozen costumes in The New 52! Nice job fooling me into thinking a new Super Villain was being introduced, Fernando!

Why does a gloomy city like Gotham need skylights in every building?

Here's The Christian Ginger Ninja at work saving Ricky! She makes the God comment and I think she wears a cross at times, doesn't she? I don't know Barbara's religious leanings (whether they've been mentioned or I just haven't been paying attention, I don't know) but if I had to guess, I'd bet she is a real mild kind of Christian. Like she believes in a Creator and a loving savior because she kind of needs there to be justice not just in Gotham but in the universe as well. Maybe she's Unitarian. My friend Mandy once called the Unitarian Church "a train station for lost souls." I wish somebody would think up a short catchy phrase for all the different Christian denominations so I could tell them apart! My religious education ended after I was baptized as a Catholic not long after birth. I think the priest said something negative about my mother's choice of names for me and my mom's reaction was not, "Oh! I don't want to offend the church! Please, let me rectify the situation so that God will be pleased!" Her reaction would better be characterized as "Fuck you."

My Spanish grandparents wedding picture in the living room of their home was at the courthouse in Santa Clara. Then they had a second wedding picture that most people assumed was their real wedding picture. But what it was was a church wedding since the church either outright told them or intimated that their children would be viewed as out of wedlock with only the legal preceding. This whole story could be a Family Myth but I still like it!

Meanwhile Knightfall is preparing for a war that's currently only in her own deluded mind.

Yay! I was wondering when we were going to learn more about Batgirl's past enemies being freed from prison!

I get it! Her name is Knightfall and she's releasing all of Batgirl's enemies on Gotham to break the Batgirl! Although breaking the Batgirl would just recreate Oracle, so that's not an outcome Knightfall is going to be happy with. Although a lot of DC Fans would shit themselves in joy if Batgirl's back were broken. Man, I thought I was cruel!

Back at the abandoned school, Batgirl and Ricky have managed to take down or chase away the majority of the thugs. Just the leader, Tyrell, is left and Ricky is about to shoot him.

I hear she makes some pretty wicked tamales.

Daddy Gordon and the police arrive just as Ricky is about to kill Tyrell before Tyrell can kill Ricky's brother. But the only person who fires a shot is Daddy Gordon and Babs is left cradling a blood-soaked Ricky that has been shot in the chest. So Ricky? Whirlpool, Maytag, or Frigidaire?

Batgirl #23 Rating: +5 Ranking. This felt like the most tightly controlled story of Batgirl so far. While I'm not a fan of Gordon hunting down Batgirl, Simone managed to win me over just on the way she's telling the story. I like that there is a lot going on and it's playing out nicely paced. I'm very happy to see Charlotte back so that I can discuss her normally even though I did like discussing her in Batgirl's Diary Voice. I suppose Daddy is going to arrest his little girl next issue although I don't think she's done anything wrong except being in the wrong place and dating the wrong guy and having a father that heard about this guy getting to first base with his daughter.