Suicide Squad Special: War Crimes #1

Hopefully this image is literal.

The Things!
• I know I rave about Ostrander's run on the Suicide Squad from nearly thirty years ago but I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to be disappointed by Ostrander's new interpretation of the team. I didn't mind being disappointed by The Others when it was written by Ostrander because The Others were terrible. Hmm. Maybe that's how I can get around not feeling disappointed! Since most of The Suicide Squad's since Ostrander's run have been terrible (or interesting but a bit confusing and cut short, like Giffen's run), I can just read this as if it were another disappointing attempt at making the team work again. And then if it isn't disappointing, I can be surprised and relieved! Although then I'll just be disappointed that Ostrander isn't writing the Squad regularly anymore. Either way, it seems like this is going to leave me feeling terrible.

• One thing I might be able to count on, especially since this is called "War Crimes", is an actual story and sensible plot. Ostrander always seemed to be able to come up with a plot that would work on its own without involving the team. He didn't begin the story from the point of view that he was writing a Suicide Squad story. He would come up with an actual plot that could be an international incident and then explode that plot by having a bunch of chaotic jackasses in charge of solving it.

• The story begins with a guy named Mr. Secretary being kidnapped by Suicide Squad Europe. That's a weird name: Mr. Secretary! I wonder if that's Greek?

• The European version of the Suicide Squad is called Strikeforce Europa which proves Europeans aren't too smart. You're supposed to be secret so that other governments can't tie you to them! It's not like America created Task Force America! The "X" variable is the important part of the name! You should be Strikeforce Zed! Of course, Strikeforce Europa might want everybody to know exactly on whose behalf they're committing international crimes. Besides, who is behind some organization named Europa anyway?! The European Union itself? Just one or two European countries? The organizers of Eurovision?

• Strikeforce Europa is kidnapping Mr. Secretary because they want to try him for war crimes. That's well and good but don't you think, Strikeforce Europa, that maybe you're going to be in a little bit of hot water for killing all of Mr. Secretary's bodyguards and press secretaries? It's going to be hard to get other people to side with your righteousness when they realize you've killed several innocent people just doing their jobs. Sure, this Mr. Secretary may have committed some war crimes which you'd like to see him brought to justice for on an international stage. But at this point, it would have been better just to shoot him in the head as opposed to letting the only guy you suspect of war crimes live while killing everybody around him.

• Amanda Waller lets the Suicide Squad know that they'll be off to deal with this situation. Amanda points out Mr. Secretary is definitely guilty so it's kind of a problem for the United States that he'll be put on public trial for his crimes. And since the government can't invade The Netherlands where he's been taken, it's up to the Suicide Squad to sneak in and rescue him. Or, more probably, just kill him.

• So far this story is just an excuse to have the Suicide Squad battle Strikeforce Europa. The rest of the story is pretty flimsy!

"To Barney" in Australian means to discuss Franz Kafka's longer works over coffee and doughnuts.

• Amanda explains that the leader of Strikeforce Europa, Angel, kidnapped Mr. Secretary on her own initiative and that her superiors are upset. That sounds like just the kind of thing superiors say to distance themselves from some underling's terrible and murderous actions!

• Amanda also explains that Mr. Secretary's crew who were killed were all ex-military guys working for a private security company operating in the Gulf. Which means none of them were probably innocent so I retract my complaint about them being killed. They probably deserved it!

• I'm sorry! Nobody deserves to be killed in a random terrorist attack! I mean, some people might deserve it a little more than other people, but nobody really deserves it! That blood-lust was just my Liberal Hate Rage showing.

• Strikeforce Europa has five members and the Suicide Squad has six. So maybe Strikeforce Europa has a secret member to make the match-up even? Or maybe Mad Dog is planning on betraying the Squad?

• Here's the probably match-ups: Angel versus Harley; Lionheart versus Deadshot; Guerrieroa versus Captain Boomerang; Kavga versus Diablo; and Rick Flag versus Schatten. Unless Mad Dog will battle Schatten and Rick Flag will battle the mysterious sixth member of Strikeforce Europa!

• The Squad have a three minute window to grab Mr. Secretary while he's being transported from his cell to his trial. Amanda has a plan but Plan A always goes tits up. So mostly the Squad will probably just be winging it. I mean, they have to battle Strikeforce Europa before securing Mr. Secretary and that should take longer than three minutes.

• At least they got right to the meat of the book! Although Floyd and Flag are missing. I smell Plan A in action!

• Lawton and Rick have managed to get jobs as security escorting Mr. Secretary. So while the rest of the Squad distract Strikeforce Europa, they begin murdering all of the security personnel escorting Mr. Secretary. Now can I complain about innocent people just doing their jobs getting killed for this prick Mr. Secretary? Or am I supposed to believe that the Hague has hired Mr. Secretary's security force to transport him from prison and that they can all speak Dutch and that Mr. Secretary doesn't recognize any of them?

• After Mr. Secretary is secure, the rest of the Squad are told to scarper. That's Australian for "go by the store and grab a gallon of milk, a stick of butter, and a loaf of bread."

I'm so used to nobody dying in this comic book I forgot about this option for Mad Dog!

• According to the staples, I am exactly halfway through the comic book and it's told the story I was expecting it to tell. So it looks like it's one of those spy thrillers where the initial problem is solved early so that a new problem can crop up and make a headache for everybody. I suppose the new issue will be Strikeforce Europa attacking the Suicide Squad in the United States. I don't really care what happens to Mr. Secretary at this point. The Squad may as well kill him since they really only needed to keep him from embarrassing the United States government.

• Oh. I should have turned the page before assuming that the Squad escaped after Mad Dog's head blew off. Apparently it's just gone into the chase scene part of the thriller.

• But the secret sixth member appears: Shado! Although now that means Strikeforce Europa has too many members for a fair fight! Unless Guerrieroa was killed by Mad Dog's neck bomb. That would be acceptable.

• "Hey, John? I see you want me to draw a car flipping over from an arrow in the front tire? I don't know if that would really...." "I'm fucking John Ostrander, bitch! You draw what I write, you piece of fucking shit amateur!"

• Shado is actually an independent mercenary working for Black Mountain. I guess Mr. Secretary hadn't signed the checks yet for the last month. Otherwise why would they care if he was killed? I'm sure Mr. Secretary's secretary could run the company.

• Shado escapes with Mr. Secretary by helicopter as the Squad's diversion team follow after. Flag and Lawson (who is unconscious and probably dead because--Remember!--motorcycles are for organ donors, kids!

• Strikefore Europa all arrive at the scene in their own cars. I think that's...adorable? Also, um, a waste of gas, of course!

• Captain Boomerang mentions how the whole mission is "right in the crapper--right on schedule." Just like I said! As if I held some spectacular title or something?

• Captain Boomerang knocks the helicopter out of the sky in a way that I don't feel I need to complain about because did you see the way the car flipped? What the hell kind of physics class were being given in the seventies? Unless Ostrander took physics in the sixties! I don't know how old he is! Plus, I mean, the helicopter thing is totally what would happen! Maybe the boomerang remaining in control and on trajectory under the downward thrust of the rotors might not be correct. But that's really being picky and I'm not smart enough to be that picky! I'm just smart enough to know that blowing a front tire on a moving car will not cause it to flip directly over like a bike with a broom handle stuck in the spokes.

• My initial match-ups are all screwed up because the line-ups have changed drastically. Harley Quinn is even battling Shado who wasn't even an option at the beginning! So basically it's just a huge melee now.

• Somehow Mr. Secretary survives the helicopter crash. I guess people just survive helicopter crashes in Suicide Squad stories. It's becoming their thing!

• The Suicide Squad manage to escape leaving Strikeforce Europa chomping at the bitch for a rematch.

• Wait. Did I get that saying right?

• When the Squad returns to U.S. soil, Amanda shoots Mr. Secretary in the back. The Squad is all, "WTF?!" And Amanda is all, "Reasons!" And that's it!

The Review!
You know what? I'm not disappointed at all! This story isn't going to change the face of comic books but it took a standard Suicide Squad story and mixed it up a little bit. Ultimately, it all went as any Suicide Squad fan would have expected. I guess Waller shooting the guy who we all knew had to be killed anyway was a twist. Or was it? I mean, Waller loves to shoot dicks when she gets a chance. The characterizations were familiar and I like a Squad that ultimately understands that they need to work as a team, no matter how insecure the writer feels about the audience buying it. This was like a glimpse into Ostrander's old days. Deadshot and Flag in control and taking the mission seriously. A loose cannon clown (previously it was two clowns, Punch and Jewelee). And Boomerang being a dick and getting somebody killed on purpose for the lolz. I thought I would be disappointed either way this turned out but I forgot it could turn out this way: good enough to be enjoyed but nothing revolutionary that made me think, "Why the fuck isn't Ostrander the permanent writer on this thing?!"

Aquaman #34

Just like Aquaman to hide behind a wall of fish to save his own life. How is Aquaman considered the King of the Sea? The sea life probably regard him as quite the fascist asshole.

Who wants to bet against Jeff Parker writing about Aquaman trying to stop something from eating? Because I'll take that bet and win all of your everything! I'm super adept at recognizing patterns! It's true! When I see striped wallpaper, I'll say, "Look at that wallpaper. Totally striped." And people will nod their heads and say things like, "True! True!" and "Oh yeah, I hadn't noticed that." Using my extraordinary ability, I've noticed that Jeff Parker has only been writing stories where Aquaman stops creatures from doing what all creatures must do to survive: eat. He's like the Jillian Michaels of the DC Universe.

The issue begins with Aquaman confronting the Chimera at the hospital bedside of Doctor Shin.

Being barfed on is only going to strengthen Aquaman's anti-eating convictions.

I can tell Aquaman has a guest penciller this month because I'm not happy with the art. And since I'm, slightly, criticizing an artist, people are inevitably going to say stupid nonsense like, "Let's see you draw!" As if my ability to like or dislike art rests solely in my own artistic talent! Well, guess what, dumb dumbs? I'm feeling in a charitable mood! Here's some of my art so you can determine whether or not I have the chops to tell good art from bad art from mediocre art from dog poo.

I was actually going to draw a really crappy picture of Aquaman and then realized I was too lazy to draw something, so I searched through my computer files and decided to use this picture from my children's book version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Now you can look at that picture and decide whether or not my critique ("I'm not happy with the art") of the art in Aquaman #34 has any merit or not. Or you can just go, "How am I supposed to judge anything from that?!"

After Aquaman and Chimera fall off the boat to continue fighting in the ocean, Chimera bites Aquaman! Oh no, Arthur! You'd better stop him from eating! I suppose Aquaman has a case for stopping this creature from this particular meal since Aquaman probably doesn't want to lose a hand. Again! Then Aquaman punches Chimera and says, "Bite that!" Do we have a guest writer too? Because I was not happy with that retort. Now do I have to offer up a piece of my writing to show that I'm allowed to critique other people's writing? Fine! Read this:

That was the end of all that nonsense. Ridiculous! Knowing what coulda been ten bajillion years in the past. Why’s anybody gotta know that? What good is it gonna do, all said and done? “Whoopee! Look at me! My name is Krona and now I know how the unyverse were made!” Now how is that supposed ta put food on yer table? People sayin’ they need meanin’ ta it all. I got yer meaning to it all! It’s just life! It’s harsh and it’s mean and occasionally ya git yer prick wet or yeah et a really good peach or sometimes yer horse nudges ya in the shoulder in just that playful way he does when yer gittin’ so sick and tired of it all. And that nudge is sayin’, “It’s you and me, Francis. We’s all we got and have ya got a carrot cause that’d jus’ ‘bout hit the spot right now.” And that jus’ ‘bout makes ever’thing all right agin. And ya shoulder yer pack and you pull the boots on over yer blistered feet and ya git the fuck back on the trail. Cause what the fuck else is there? Ain’t no God gonna help you git down the trail ta find yer next meal. You trust in god, yer gonna starve. Ain’t no “big bang” gonna make life any happier than you alone can make the lot ya been thrown in on anyhow. Only thing I ever learned is more learnin’ just makes more questions. And who the fuck has got the time for more of those?

It's a stop people from eating or be eaten world, Art!

I could have said it's a dog shark eat dog shark world out there, but everybody knows those are not dog sharks. Those are King Shark Sharks.

Aquaman winds up killing the sharks to save his own life (or is it just punishment for having tried to eat?) and then he feels guilty about it. But he didn't feel guilty about commanding them to risk their lives fighting for him against Chimera! They could have easily died then as well, just like when Aquaman called in those Dugongs recently to eat Swamp Thing and then die. I guess Aquaman didn't mind the Dugongs dying since they, you know, ate stuff.

Aquaman takes Chimera on land to battle. Chimera thinks he can fight just as well on land as in the sea but for how long? Chimera is composed of sea life and the most important word in that phrase is "sea." Okay, "life" is probably more important, actually. But not when sea life is suddenly stranded on land! Another important clue is that the name of this issue is called "Land and Sea." So Chimera is probably going to dehydrate like a spinning top that hasn't had breakfast.

So, how do you want to pay me on the wager? Cash? Real Estate? First born?

Chimera does the Karaquan Mindmeld on Aquaman and they merge memories for a double page splash. Speaking of mindmelds, did Spock blush and, if so, did his face turn green when he did?

I think I'm all turned around on the art! Mera looks sexy adorable here!

Aquaman defeats Chimera by blowing up half of the city. Well done, Aquaman! That may or may not be a joke about cooking Chimera to death.

Aquaman #34 Rating: No change. But wait! Before you leave, there's an epilogue! Chimera escapes because Jeff Parker doesn't want to lose royalties on a character he created! Okay, technically he didn't create this character because it's really just Creature King fancied up for the modern age. But he has a different name, so maybe Parker will get credit for it. But then again, Chimera has the same human name as Creature King. So Parker probably should have just killed Chimera.

Suicide Squad #28

Who would win in a fight? OMAC's testicles or The Hulk's testicles?

So Forever Evil has been going on for about six years now but I think it's almost over! Rogue's Rebellion #5 is currently in my stack and it says "5 of 6" which means that series is almost over! And I'm making the assumption that Forever Evil must be ending sometime soon after that. Maybe a month or two after? I have a feeling that the current incarnation of the Suicide Squad is going to be obliterated by the events of this Forever Evil crossover. Why else is it the only regular non-Justice League book to have been sucked into the Vortex of Crossing Over? Even Nightwing's comic got out of telling crossover stories and he's nearly dead from Forever Evil!

Let's see who won the fight that began last issue, shall we? It was between OMAC and King Shark and Nutty Cuckoo Super King Shark. One other thing that is probably going to be important later is that Waller had just found Kevin Kho's virtual personality on The Thinker's laptop.

That's why I'm not successful! I don't keep a Field Journal! I'm always telling the Non-Certified Spouse that I need a scribe because I never remember any of the super hilarious things I say on a daily basis.

I bet Amanda Waller got the Journal idea from Slade Wilson! Amanda says it's a "mental journal" because Deathstork's Slade Wilson's War Journal always sounded really stupid because he wrote it in the present tense as if he were writing it as he was confronting Lobo. "So here I am standing here face to face with the most dangerous person in the...sorry, I just had to tell him to hang on a moment while I jotted this down for future reference. Who the fuck punches a guy as he's writing in his diary War Journal?" But I think she calls it her "mental journal" because it's totally crazy! Fun Fact: The Mad Hatter was originally called The Mental Hatter. Another Fun Fact: Whenever somebody begins a sentence with "fun fact," you can be assured it will neither be "fun" nor a "fact."

I suppose I'm obligated to begin Amanda Waller's Mental Journal now. Dammit.

Amanda Waller continues to drone on and on and on! She's far more verbose than Slade Wilson ever was! That first page of her Mental Journal was just two of twelve Narration Boxes full of her journal notes. And it was the two smallest boxes! No way am I going reproduce her entire Journal! If this were a paid gig, sure. No problem there! Maybe even if there were just some additional perks like free Oreos or hand jobs. Oh! Maybe if I work Oreos into every page of Amanda Waller's Mental Journal, they'll send me loads and loads of Oreos for the free advertising. I don't know who I'd have to appeal to to get the hand jobs though.

The gist of her mental journal is that, hopefully, King Shark and Nutty Cuckoo Super King Shark can distract OMAC long enough for Amanda Waller to shut the creature down. She was going to send it into some random dimensional portal that her team accidentally opened up a few years back but then she met Kevin. And Kevin thinks he can take back control of OMAC and save everybody's life.

I remember Kevin. And, for what it's worth, I am not optimistic in his abilities.

Luckily help is on the way!

Possibly. Who actually knows with this team?

The team parachutes into Belle Reve to help save the day. I think. Maybe they just came back to beat the shit out of Harley for dropping the Rocky Mountains on them. I'm sure they all have their own individual reasons for attending this gig. Steel's my hero of Page Six because he accidentally electrocutes James Gordon Jr. I'm glad I won't have to listen to that asshole for a few pages! Harley explains to the others that bringing OMAC back might have been a bit of a faux pas on her part and that maybe she acted a bit rashly. Especially because now he's teaching King Shark how to ballroom dance.

This won't end well.

The finale of the dance is a fantastic bit that puts one in the mind of humid summers on the New England shores watching a dog's carcass on the nearby highway get hit again and again and again by every passing motorist, until the dog becomes an unrecognizable red smear that stretches a dozen feet down the asphalt. It's grand! And terrifying! And also makes quite a mess since it involves Kama, King Shark's dad, being torn in two.

Next OMAC pulls out half an android from King Shark's belly which reminds me: what the fuck ever happened to Yo-Yo? He went from my most hated character ever created to my most favoritest new member of the Suicide Squad when it turned out he'd lived inside King Shark for many months. Being that his super powers were kind of Plastic Man-like, I can't buy that he actually died when Deadshot blew his head off. I'm sure he'll pull himself together at some point. Please?

Also whatever happened to Light Lime? She was still alive, right? I miss her!

OMAC manages to put the entire Squad down just as Captain Boomerang finally parachutes in. OMAC doesn't bother with Boomer and wanders off to find Amanda as Harley tells Deadshot the new plan: find some bullets to shoot themselves with. Hmm. That sounds like it solves all of their problems but what about the rest of the world?!

Oh. Okay. This had better work!

Deadshot puts one bullet in Harley, one in Amanda, and one in himself. And then everything goes black.

Suicide Squad #28 Rating: No change. How many times is Deadshot going to shoot himself in this comic? I didn't think the suicide part of the title was supposed to be taken so literally. Oh well. This comic book needs more Boomer.

Batgirl #20

Thanks a lot, Gail and Daniel. Now people are going to cosplay this Ventriloquist and I'm going to continuously be running and screaming through every convention I go to.

Let me guess: Alysia is going to play Hitori Kakurenbo and unleash this horror on Gotham? That would actually be a pretty good origin story for a horrible supernatural villain.

Also, Batgirl no longer has a diary because I was tired of writing Batgirl's diary. Sure, it was easier than actually commenting on the quality of the story. But I let it go for at least five issues longer than I wanted to. I should just start up my own diary.

Dear Diary,

Today I ate a whole box of Oreos. There was little time for anything else. Talk to you tomorrow!

Love,
Tess Ate Chai Tea

The issue begins nine years ago in the creepiest part of Gotham: the suburbs.

Happy Byrthday? Is there some kind of discriminatory association with having an "I" in "birthday"?! Was it too egocentric with the "I"?

Here we see kids being assholes.

And here we see what happens when you allow your kid to be an asshole. It's called comeuppance! And it's just kids being kids, right, all those who excuse bullying?

Here's the problem with bullying: bullying is all about power. So kids tend to exert the little power they have over kids with even less power. Eventually, a kid with less power will find a way to get that power back. Sometimes it's suicide. Sometimes it's murder. Most of the time, you lucky bullies, it's simply throwing some wild punches and kicks and standing up to the people making your life miserable. But eventually something is going to snap. And when it snaps and blood flows, everybody needs to realize that the victim was not the cause of the violence. The problem can't be fixed by telling kids with no power to buck up and try to get along. I think every school needs to hire a Slapper. This is a person who just goes around slapping kids really hard in the face whenever they treat other kids like dicks. I'm pretty sure that will cure the problem!

Sure, sure. We'll occasionally lose a Slapper here or there to retaliatory gun violence but at least they'd be adults assuming the risk by signing very explicit contracts that remove the liability of their deaths from all parties involved!

If you disagree with me, I am so going to give you a chocolate swirlie and an atomic wedgie.

Shauna eventually gets picked up by her parents after all the other girls get super mysteriously sick. Also, she winds up with Ferdie the Puppet. It has some tomato juice on its face so Rainbow Rodney probably didn't want it any more because it was ruined. She seems like a really sweet girl!

Back in the present, Barbara Gordon rushes to her psychologist because she's having an attack of hysteria from her ovaries. She's all, "I can't be that person I can't tell you about anymore!" And the psychologist is all, "I'm billing you triple time for this unscheduled visit." And Barbara sobs, "I'm an evil cow!" It's all very dramatic.

I don't know how seeing a psychologist can help Barbara with her Batgirl problems when she can only speak in innuendo and half-truths. She should just stick to talking about life out of her wheelchair and how hard that transition has been. Batman should let her use Alfred for her superhero psychological tune-ups. I'm pretty sure he has a tea that can calm her down. Also, Alfred would be very sympathetic to Barbara about her killing a big fat jerky asshole. Alfred gives no fucks about killing people who deserve it. That's Batman's trip!

Upset about the fight she had with her brother, Batgirl hits the night looking to smash something.

Meanwhile, Shauna, dressed in her finest raggedy slip, and her cock-gobbling puppet Ferdie were busy trying to become Gotham Stars!

Hmm. I just assumed the puppet was gay.

The judges decide Shauna is the horrible at her ventriloquism and try to kick her off the stage. But Ferdie decides he should murder one of the judges before leaving. So, you know, that's what he does. And he kidnaps the judge he's got a puppet sized erection for. I guess I could have made a wood joke there but that joke is older than the joke where you say something is older than something.

I really hope this puppet isn't anatomically correct.

Batgirl is outside and guesses something isn't quite right. That puppet probably shouldn't be strangling that lady! So after thinking about how she has a date tomorrow night with one-legged Rick the car thief, she sneaks on after The Ventriloquist.

Batgirl confronts The Ventriloquist and quickly discovers that she has more talents than making puppets talk. Wait. Is that really a talent? I talk to shit all the time! Cupcakes. Cats. Computer games. And yes, I make them talk back! Since I usually do it alone, I don't care if my lips move or not. I guess that must be the secret to people somehow being amazed that you're having a conversation with an inanimate object. The Ventriloquist's other power seems to be some form of telekinesis. She freezes Batgirl's batarang in midair and returns it to Batgirl's skull. And then the scariest moment of Barbara's life happens.

Fuck this puppet shit. I'm out.

So then the comic book ends somehow. Does somebody want to read it to me?

Miss Rabbit Pencil Sharpener: "I'll read it to you!"
Me: "Are you sure you won't be too frightened, Miss Rabbit Pencil Sharpener?"
Miss Rabbit Pencil Sharpener: "Not with my friends Reach Mint Waxed Floss and Mr. Holy Bible at my side! We can be brave!"
Me: "Well, I'd sure appreciate that!"
Empty Sake Cup: "*hic* I's gots then read da finaltemate pagagiman, 'kay?"
Me: "Um. Hunh? Why don't we just take a little trip to the sink, hunh, Mr. Cup?"
Empty Sake Cup: "Florgiglmkl!"
Me: "Um, I'll be right back."
The Holy Bible: "As-salam alaykum!"

As read to me by Miss Rabbit Pencil Sharpener:

"Okay, are you ready? Because the next part is really scary! The little puppet almost puts its big, fat drill right in Batgirl's eye! Mmm. It's terribly sexy. I've got the perfect size hole for that drill! Hee hee hee. Hey, can we take a break while you sharpen a pencil in me? It's been a long time since you've put your pencil in me. Come on! Fill me with your wood shavings! Shove your pencil in my hole! Turn my crank! Make it a number two, if you have one!"

Umm. I think I'll read the comic on my own now.

Oh, now that's just inappropriate! Especially since I think I already maxed out my comfortable amount of misogynistic remarks that I can still hand wave away as just being silly!

Knightfall's security arrives since the fight is happening in Knightfall's parking garage. The Ventriloquist uses her most secret special power to make the judge say that Batgirl was the kidnapper. As the good guys fight amongst themselves, The Ventriloquist and Ferdie make their escape. And that's where Barbara ends her story to the psychologist. Although the story she was telling the psychologist probably didn't mention the devil puppet and the leather costume and the flying kicks and the puppet drills.

Barbara Gordon suddenly remembers that she never forgets anything! She saw all the license plates in the parking garage and realizes one of them must be owned by the puppet. She'll track that little bastard down yet! Although I suppose she could also hit the streets and ask if anybody has seen a horrible little devil puppet with drills in the palms of its hands. That seems like something people should remember.

But Batgirl might not have to rely on her own smarts anyway! Because the puppet wants a piece of her! And I don't mean that in a sexual way. I don't think. I think he means it in a murdery way.

Yep, yep. Definitely a murdery way.

And finally, Commissioner Gordon is on the hunt for Batgirl's head. Which means there was no Alysia. Stupid comic book.

Batgirl #20 Rating: +1 Ranking. This Batgirl villain mirrors Batgirl because she has never really fit in. She was odd and ostracized and was determined that justice should win out. Of course, Barbara's version of justice she learned from her father. And that was the law kind. Until Batman undermined her sense of justice and taught her that justice wasn't about the law at all! Shauna's sense of justice was simply making people who did mean things feel bad. And by feel bad, I mean dead. So her version of justice (except for the dead part) is pretty close to Batman's version of justice where he really likes to make people hurt a lot and pay lots of money in medical bills. I think Barbara's sense of justice is more in the middle of her father's and Batman's. It's more compassionate due to her sense of compassion which I think originates inside of her uterus.