Friday, October 23, 2015

Harley Quinn #21

This was my favorite scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

This issue begins with Harley Quinn tackling Deadshot into bed. Then after they tussle in the bed for awhile, they head over to the shower together. It all takes place in a cheap motel with a lot of smashed walls, smashed glass, smashed furniture, and smashed everything. Harley Quinn probably feels like she's about to get fucked by The Joker.

Look, comic book. All I really want to know is if Harley and Deadshot are going to have sex again. Maybe I should just write that scene myself and forget about it happening in the comic book.

Harley: "Come on, Floyd! Give it to know what? I dried right up when I called you Floyd."
Floyd: "I should probably grab a condom, right? I don't want to stick my dick in there and wind up with a huge creepy grin on my face."
Harley: "Oh, I'm going to make you grin big time, Deady! Hmm. Deady is better than Floyd but it's still sponging up my love grease."
Floyd: "Are you even wearing shorts? Is that just grease paint?"
Harley: "Yeah! I'm always completely naked! Shove your gun in my holster!"
Floyd: "Boom! Boom! Oh yeah!"
Harley: "Deadshot, hunh? More like Wrong Hole Lawson."
Floyd: "No way! I like to start with the back end! Then I go in the front all dirty!"
Harley: "Whoa, whoa! You're not sticking that stinky ding dong in my sweet smelling semen receptacle!"
Floyd: "That's okay. I already came."
Harley: "Where's my mallet?"

That was super sexy! Now I don't even need to read this issue!

I can just look at this panel and imagine they just did it.

Or they just did it here and are about to do it again!

Deadshot could be talking about his penis!

Instead of having intimate relations with Deadshot, Harley just beats him up and knocks him through more walls. Are motels in Hollywood made out of sugar?

Hopefully Deadshot will return after Harley gets done with the part of the story I don't care about. She's trying to find some spoiled rich kid and take her back east. But to find her, she's got to put on her detective shoes.

Mystery solved!

Afterward, Harley Quinn gets an adult massage and earns her money for solving the Mystery of the Wayward Youth. But then she gives the money to some movie producer named Nick so that he isn't killed and also so he'll turn Harley into a cartoon. Later at the airport, Harley runs into her romantic interest! There's still a shot at a sex scene! Here it comes! Oh yeah! They're gonna do it in an airport restroom!

Nope. Harley just steals Floyd's money and ditches him. Not cool, Harley.

Harley Quinn #21 Rating: No change. Did you know that Harley Quinn is not really a clown? She may have a doctorate but it isn't from Clown College! She's a phoney baloney! Putting white grease paint all over your body does not make one a clown. She is an insult to clowning. Did you also know that most clowns don't kill? Okay, occasionally one will get into killing but it's not a usual part of a clown's repertoire. Did you know that clowns don't usually give grown men boners? It just seems like Harley Quinn is portraying clowns in a negative light. Shame on her.

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