Detective Comics #45

This is so close to my dream cover! Just switch Honey Bunny Batman with Harvey Bullock!

While walking to the store today, a limousine driver leaning against the back of his limo watched me walking up the street. I usually avoid eye contact with everybody but since he was an African American, I didn't want to appear racist so I made the most minimal eye contact I could. It was still too much because then he said, "Do you want to buy some jewelry for your girlfriend?" I couldn't believe it! He thought I looked like the kind of guy who would have a girlfriend! I was so flattered!

That wasn't even the best part of my day! The best part was when I got to the store to buy toilet paper and I saw that Fred Meyers had a "Buy Two Get One Free" sale on Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins! Oh lordy! The cherry on my Monday sundae? The clerk at the 7-11 whose floor I clean every week didn't even try to talk to me! He just let me clean and then handed me my money while I was buffing! What did I do to deserve such a day as this?!

Anyway, Peter J. Tomasi is back writing for a Bat Book! Hooray! And he begins it exactly how I expected him to begin it!

I totally called this in my totally unedited commentary for Detective Comics #1!

Instead of focusing on Harvey Bullock, Tomasi has decided to write about Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth. Will it finally be time for somebody to sit Bruce down and tell him he has a son? It seems to me that Damian, after coming back from his world tour, isn't going to listen to Alfred and allow his father to remain in the dark about his history as Batman. So it's probably a good thing that Damian has been sent away until everybody forgets that the timeline for bringing him back from the dead doesn't really fit into the Batman Eternal or Endgame continuity.

While Alfred regales Bruce with tales of Bruce's parents, the Justice League stop by to see Bruce. I'm sure that won't be weird at all.

Alfred tries quickly saying "No solicitors!" and slamming the door in their faces but The Flash is too quick and gets his foot, and the rest of his body too, in the door. The rest of the Justice League shove their way in as well and Alfred tries to avoid looking at Aquaman's boner. Bruce comes up and doesn't find it at all strange that the Justice League are begging at his front door. He does know that he used to fund Batman so he's probably thinking these assholes want a handout to help pay for satellite repairs.

Bruce agrees to let Wonder Woman tie him up in the study because why would he not? Alfred's his butler and can surely be trusted not to tell Julie Madison. With Diana's lasso around him, Bruce admits to remembering nothing about the Justice League or Batman or his involvement with them. He suspects that he used to write them checks. Memory Loss Batman is no help to them. The Justice League finally decides to leave him alone and go introduce themselves to Commissioner Batman.

They find him battling some F-15s over Gotham Bay. The pilots have been fitted with some kind of mind control device so it's probably the work of The Mad Hatter! Being a detective in Gotham isn't hard at all! Anybody could be the World's Greatest Detective when all of your enemies have such strong M.O.s!

Not only am I a Grandmaster Comic Book Reader, it turns out I'm a World's Greatest Detective too! And I've only done like five lessons in my Trixie Belden Home Detectivanting Class!

Jaws quote!

Commissioner Batman wraps up Jervis and the Justice League save the last three pilots. Then they all meet up in Mike W. Barr Park to have a civil conversation. Probably! Hopefully Commissioner Batman and Superman won't remember their Greg Pakian relationship.

The League let Gordon know (yes, they know it's Gordon! They know everything! Even without stupid amnesiac Batman's help!) that they need him for his detective work. The Justice League have a mystery to solve and Commissioner Batman has to get ready for his act. Hopefully he won't hold back. Because he knows if he comes through he's going to get himself a detective snack. That's a fact. The only problem is how hard it will be to find clues for this specific mystery.

The Mystery of the Giant Snow-Covered Skeleton!

Detective Comics #45 Rating: +3 Ranking. On the surface, this comic book really didn't have a lot going on. Most non-Grandmaster Comic Book Readers probably read it in two minutes and tossed it aside to read the next comic book in their stack. Mostly because the bulk of the book was Commissioner Batman flying around fighting F-15s. Not the most compelling story. But I'll tell you why I gave it such a good rating. First, Billy Batson smiled a lot and waved when appropriate. And not just Billy smiled! Flash and Cyborg and Superman threw a few smiles around as well. On top of that, the Justice League had a reasonable and compassionate interaction with Bruce while sticking to Alfred's wishes that they don't say too much. Also, when the Justice League flew in to help Commissioner Batman, he welcomed the help and was awestruck by the fact he was battling at their sides. And finally when they all met up again to ask for Commissioner Batman's help, everybody was civil and honest and acted like actual good guys. Okay, Aquaman was a little brusque but that's who he is! How often do we get heroes acting like adults? Not fucking enough. Thanks for showing heroes being reasonable, Mr. Tomasi!