Too bad this is only a vision.
Oh, as for The Ravagers? I have them ranked at 42 (probably higher than they should be!) and sales ranks them at 38. That's pretty consistent. At the bottom of the sales ranks and my rankings are the ones you'd expect: Deathstroke, Hawkman, Grifter, Legion Lost. If it weren't for the popularity of some of these characters (like Batman!), I'd expect sales to be a lot closer to my rankings. About half of them are pretty damn close.
Now that I've wasted as much time as I could ignoring reading The Ravagers, it's probably time to waste time figuring out more ways to waste time instead of reading The Ravagers! Call of Duty would kill a few hours. Masturbating wouldn't kill that much time but I'd probably take a nap afterward. I could read an actual book or maybe I could do more Bible Study. Or maybe I could just get this over with.
Instantly I'm lost amid the ellipses and half-finished sentences, the missing spaces and missing commas, the extra commas and double dashes. I'm in the mind of Howard Mackie. It feels like being stuck in the birth canal. Something is happening but not quickly enough. I'm struggling, choking, fighting for life. Is there meaning in anything we do? Is the struggle worth it? Should I just...put in random punctu--ation whenever I feel I...need to breathe?--?...!
The girl that The Ravagers were sent to save hides behind a tree watching The Ravagers battle Rose Wilson and Warblade. She's Narration Boxing a letter to her mother about how she's seen so many visions of the future that she can't be sure what future is about to go down. Wow. What a terrible predicament to be in.
How many punctuation errors can you find?
The meaninglessness of our existent stares back from this title. Drink deep of the despair.
The enormity of time crashes through you. Your ego disappears into the vastness of infinite space.
Paralyzed by decisions that don't matter. Extant for a universal second.
Nothing. Everything. All of it here. All of it gone.
Her task now is to show Caitlin Fairchild what might possibly happen if things go a certain way for some certain reason. And whatever that thing is that causes this future to happen, please do it because Superboy is killed almost instantly!
The double period...burning into my brain...destroying my memories--first kiss, gone; grandfather's voice, gone; the best fish stick I ever ate, gone--destroying everything that makes me...me?
In Caitlin's vision, The Ravagers take over the world and none of it would have been possible without Future Girl. And somehow Rose says that Caulder and Caitlin delivered her to Harvest although Rose and Warblade and Windshear and Brighteyes already knew where she was and were going after her. So that's more stupidity.
Wow. What a terrifically useless power. "Here are 153 possible versions of the future! One of them is true!"
OH FUCK YOU, LISA! Caitlin has been helping them! That's all that she has been doing. That's what she was going to do all along. And telling someone that "THIS POINT" determines the path they will take is FUCKING OBVIOUS! Every point determines every point past that point, you stupid fucking piece of fucking fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK!
Me: "Ugh! This new person the Ravagers have met has the dumbest power. She sees all the different things that might happen in the future and one of them always comes true but she doesn't know which!"
Me: "Fuck you! We all have that power! It's called 'SPECULATION!'"
Doom Bunny: "lol"
Doom Bunny: "I see two futures for me: one where I win the lottery on Saturday, and one where I don't! One of those is sure to come true!"
Me: "That moment will determine the path your life will take! After, um, that moment! It's good you can see the possible futures in store!"
Doom Bunny: "I guess that power could come in handy if there is something in the future that came so out of left field that you couldn't speculate about it. Like if I suddenly saw the possibility of being hit by a bus tomorrow! Of course then I might stay home for no reason."
Me: "Except she sees that future alongside 250 other possible futures. More! 250,000,000!"
Doom Bunny: "Oh jeez. So I could be hit by any number of things! Or not at all! What the hell good is that? I know that already!"
Me: "I know! WORST. POWER. EVER. She has the power to WORRY!"
Okay, I'm back and so is Caitlin. She sees the events unfolding exactly like the vision she was shown by Future Girl! Except they're a little bit different for some reason. Everything is the same except Ridge and Superboy don't get stabbed. But they say all the same things! Maybe it's because she didn't run away with Lisa. Instead she stayed to observe.
By staying to help, Caitlin manages to convince Terra to actually fight back. Terra flips the fuck out and begins smashing everything to bits in a big scary display that doesn't actually do anything except vandalize the surrounding properties and throw Caitlin to the ground. Oh, it also excites Rose in a way she hasn't been excited since she and Timber Wolf met in The Culling.
Maybe it was Timber Wolf that wanted to dance with Rose? Whover it was, the dance never happened because Timber Wolf smelled Kid Flash.
Oh my God! Terra is capable of murder in the Reboot! That's so different!
Later they return to Los Angeles (although Caitlin and Ridge actually get transported to Arizona when they chase after Jocelyn and Superboy. I don't know why the rest don't follow since they're here. Unless they end up back in New York later and then go to Arizona? Fuck this is confusing!) where Caitlin informs Niles that The Ravagers are dangerous. Niles says, "Oh my God! Good thing we have emergency measures to keep them in check!" And Superboy goes, "Wait. What? Me!?" And then the final surprise page!
After seeing Rose Wilson here, I'm 98% positive she's the native girl from the Eclipso Island in Team 7 #3.