For Galactic Acts of Self-Love and Flagrant Use of His Own Penis.
Krona witnessed a shadowy hand rhythmically pumping a shadowy penis until the entire universe shot forth in a fiery display of galaxy forming ejaculate! The Masturbater spied Krona through the portal and, embarrassed, cursed the Oan race to never again be able to masturbate. The Oans (being a race of only men) grew tense and frustrated without the release of masturbation. Their skin quickly turned bluish grey. To turn their attention away from their frustration, they began to pursue logic and philosophy. Their heads grew big and bulbous while their unneeded physical forms withered.
As the Oans observed the rest of the universe, they saw many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many acts of masturbation amongst all of the sentient races. It was more than they could bare. It must all be stopped, once and for all. So they created a race of Manhunters to punish men who masturbated. This worked out for awhile but the Oans, having been a race of males, didn't realize how often females masturbated as well. But the Manhunters only hunted men, so they needed a new plan. The Green Lantern Corps was their next attempt to end self-pleasure!
Green Lanterns were recruited by their willpower because those with the strongest willpower resisted the lure of masturbation the most successfully. They accepted males, females, and whatever other genders they discovered amongst the stars since their always seemed to be masturbaters no matter the gender.
For awhile, it seemed to be a success. But the Oans grew lax in their position of authority once they began fucking the Zamarons. Masturbaters began to infiltrate the Green Lantern Corps' ranks. And pretty soon, it was time for a new Corps that wasn't susceptible to the lures of self-love. The new attempt to end it all was The Third Army! This would turn every sentient being into one sentient being thereby leaving nobody to fantasize about and no reason to masturbate. But the Oans knew that idleness was the devil's penis, so they also created the Third Army without genitalia! Once the entire universe was transformed, masturbation would be a thing of the past. And the Oans would never again have to hear a distant "FAP" from some far corner of the universe.
So that's the history of the Guardians of the Universe and their reasons behind creating the Third Army. If you look up the Guardians on Wikipedia and it's different, just remember that Wikipedia is full of shit.
Looks like a bad case of chronic pocket pool. So the Guardians fired your sticky ass.
So Guy was kicked out of the Green Lantern Corps for too much masturbation. Ironic that now that he's not a Green Lantern, he just can't perform.
Poor little Guy!
Aha! When Mogo masturbates, Mogo also copulates!
Back in Baltimore, Guy Gardner can't accept not being a hero anymore. The same way that Hal Jordan felt the need to kick some ass when he lost his ring, Guy hits the streets of Baltimore to do the same thing. I think someone should look into the side effects of wearing a Green Lantern Ring. Seems the withdrawal symptoms are a lot like going cold turkey from Prozac: violent behavior and a death wish. Guy hunts around until he finds the most dangerous guys he can go up against, a homegrown terrorist organization with lots and lots of guns and missiles.
Too bad the people he beats up are undercover federal agents and Baltimore cops.