Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Batwoman #14

Wasn't Pegasus born from the blood of Medusa when her head was lopped off? Where's my thirteen year old self when I need questions like this answered?

Since I don't have my thirteen year old self to answer all of my questions about mythology, I supposed I could ask Lord Google.

Me: "How was pegasus born, Lord Google?"
Lord Google: "Pip pip! Someone needs answers, do they? Well, judging by your inquiry, I see you'd like to hear some My Little Pony/Dr. Who fanfiction, correct? *ahem*

'"Hello,” said the bashful yellow pegasus filly to the not nearly as bashful grey pegasus filly.'"

Me: "No no no! I was wondering about..."
Lord Google: "Please don't interrupt.

'“Hi!” the other pegasus said with a smile, “I’m Ditzy Doo. Wanna go explorin’ and treasure hunting and searching for the mysterious Moon Princess of the Whitetail Woods?"'"

Me: "Look, I just want to know about the Pegasus of mythol..."
Lord Google: "The yellow pegasus struggled to make herself speak as loudly as she could, which honestly, was barely above a whisper. “Pardon me,” the shy pegasus shyly asked, “but why is a moon princess living in a forest? Wouldn’t she want to live on the moon? I’m- I… wait, no, I upset you didn’t I? Now you hate me don’t you? Please don’t hate me I didn’t mean to be mean. I knew I shouldn’t have opened my mouth, I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” Great, she bemoaned mournfully, she already hates me."
Me: "You know what? Forget I asked."

The above excerpts were taken from the brilliant and oft-cited story "My Little Time Lord The Pegasus Starlight Pt I" written by someone mysterious because Lord Google didn't want to reveal the source.

I stopped reading the My Little Pony/Dr. Who fanfic just a few paragraphs in because I need to finish (begin?) reading Batwoman before I go to the comic book store for new comics. Even though Pegasus looks half-eaten, Wonder Woman is still cautious since he's the son of Medusa. But Batwoman rushes to help him because she can't see an animal suffering. Or a child. Or a cowboy.

If Pegasus was born out of Medusa's decapitated torso, how is Medusa still alive to cause trouble? I bet her head was reattached to some other body.

The next four pages contain more of the fantastic layouts I've been praising Blackman and Williams III for doing throughout this comic book. Batwoman is analyzing Pegasus's wounds. As she does, panels depict the fight between Falchion and Pegasus and the moments in that fight that caused each of the different wounds. This comic book is just a treat to look at.

Pegasus knows that Medusa has a plan to destroy all mortalkind but he doesn't know what it is. He does, however, know where she is keeping the children she has kidnapped. And he's willing to tell them for a price.

Thirteen year old nerd boys will bring him back! And maybe some of the love for winged My Little Ponies can be siphoned over to help bring Pegasus back!

Wonder Woman is willing to pay this price but Batwoman begins having too many feelings. She'd rather keep this maimed horse-man alive than to put him out of his misery.

My friend Paul and I once found a raccoon that had been hit by a car in front of my house. It looked like its back had been broken but it was still alive and otherwise intact. I put a towel in a box and gingerly scooted it into the box to make it as comfortable as possible. I really don't know what I thought could be done for it but I knew it needed compassion and warmth and some manner of kindness. In my raccoon loving mind, I guess I believed if I called animal control, they would come get it and it would go somewhere where they would help it out and it would be better and the world would be pink and full of light and flowers and spring mornings. When animal control came, the man took out one of those ten foot long poles with the noose that can be tightened at the other end. He wrapped it around the racoons neck and manhandled it from its cozy box and into a cage as it screamed and squealed the entire time. And then the man took it away, probably to gas it after all that trauma.

Later, we told Paul's dad about the raccoon. He said (and I'm quoting exactly because I'll never forget it), "You should have taken a baseball bat and put it out of its misery." And fuck me, he was right. I would have rather ended the poor raccoon's suffering myself if I'd have known my empathy for the poor thing was going to cause it so much more trauma when it was only going to meet its miserable end anyway. It was already dead when I found it. The only decision left was how it was going to ultimately go and I decided incorrectly.

So what I'm trying to say is, I understand Batwoman's revulsion to the idea of killing Pegasus. But I also know why Wonder Woman is willing to deliver the killing blow as well.

Pegasus tells them that Medusa is in Gotham.

Maybe Pegasus will spring forth from his decapitated torso!

I had to make a joke because this whole scene along with my reminiscence is making me weepy. And the next few panels don't fucking help. Someone get me a handkerchief!

As long as Junior High School libraries carry books on mythology, thirteen year old boys and girls will be their to believe in Pegasus.

I think this proves that I'm as tough as Wonder Woman!

Meanwhile in Gotham City, Harvey Bullock and Maggie, Kate Kane's ex-girlfriend, have finally found Medusa. She and her Urban Legends have come above ground to cause chaos and possibly finish whatever ritual she needed all of those children for. Or maybe it's just the local Gotham Crazy Day Parade.

Medusa walks the streets turning cops into statues while Catwoman, Mr. Freeze, and Nightwing all make a short guest appearance as they battle Medusa's Urban Legends. But the Urban Legends aren't the only legends Medusa wants fighting for her. She transforms Killer Croc one more time into her old friend, the Hydra.

Where the fuck is Batman already?!

Detective Bullock decides to play the big hero and nearly becomes Statue Bullock but Maggie saves him. And then it's time for Maggie to be saved by her girlfriend and her girlfriend's new crush!

Oh. That's the end!

I didn't realize the comic book was over because it felt like I still had ten pages left. But that's because all of the adverts were shoved in the back of the book to not mess up Blackman and Williams III's layouts.

Batwoman #14 Rating: +3 Ranking. The art is beautiful. The layouts are thoughtful and well-designed. The writing is top notch. The story is exciting. Great fucking book. The end.

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