Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Animal Man #15

Why didn't Superman ever sue Steel for using his "S" logo? Or maybe he did and I missed that issue!

The first thing I realize when I open this comic book is how unobservant I've gotten while reading comics. When I began this project, I wanted to really take my time with each issue. But look at what I missed in the last panel of last issue? My favorite French gay gorilla in the DCnU!

Monsieur Mallah! And his current Squick Buddy, The Brain!

This is from the first panel of Issue #15 and not the last panel of Issue #14 which I may have led you to believe I was going to comment on. But I scanned that last commentary and Monsieur Mallah is right there next to Grodd and I didn't even notice. If I had, I would have made a big deal about it! He's the best!

Although I could be jumping to conclusions by saying that Monsieur Mallah is gay. The origin of The Brain was always sort of mysterious but I'm pretty sure the scientist whose head it came out of was male. Besides, the Who's Who entry on Monsieur Mallah confirms he was gay!

See? "Marital Status: Inapplicable"! Also, he's basically Pinky since he's "Assistant to Would-Be World Conqueror" The Brain.

Brain begins barking orders at Mallah as if Mallah couldn't figure out that shooting Steel in the face was the best plan of attack at the moment. Mallah must be in love with this thing to keep it around simply so it can talk down to him and order him around. What else can The Brain do? It just sits in its jar! Luckily Mallah isn't going to be pushed around by it much longer.

Monsieur Mallah doesn't mourn for long. He's gunned down in the next panel.

The person doing all of the killing is Frankenstein, just in case you didn't recognize his sword. He's got an army of other Frankenpeople with him. They slaughter all of the monkeys although doesn't that mean they'll just have to slaughter an army of zombie monkeys now? I guess not since the Gorillas remain dead after the battle is over. Maybe Frankenstein knows a secret to keeping dead things dead.

Constantine and Baker try to recruit Frankenstein and his patchwork people for their assault against Arcane's fortress. But Frank has seen the place and says it's still too dangerous. But he knows that Arcane keeps a prisoner beneath Metropolis rumoured to be powerful enough to change the tide of battle. They speculate that it could be Superman but would it really be that obvious? Who else might it be? Maybe it's Cyborg!

Meanwhile in the past, Maxine believes William Arcane is going to help her because he's just a young boy and what trouble could he be? Sure his name is Arcane! But you can't hold that against him, can you? Socks warns her that it's a trap but Maxine is too young to realize that you should always listen to your cat. Cats are like the smartest things ever. And I don't mean because they make people serve them. That's small potatoes! Cats are intelligent because they found a way they have, time and time again, found a way to reap the benefits of human society so that they put out minimal effort to survive. Dog people think dogs have it made but when is the last time you lived in a city that allowed dogs to wander around the neighborhood without supervision? Yeah, cats fucking can't even be touched by the law. Okay, if they're not properly licensed, they can be scooped up and taken away (although most people just assume they're someone's pet and leave them alone anyway). But if they are licensed, they're generally assumed to be part of the landscape. They're free to wander as they please. A few horrible, stuffy, shit-stain cities have tried to make it against the law to let cats wander the neighborhood. But those cities all sickened and died from lack of a soul. It's fucking true! I'm pretty sure I read it on Wikipedia.

Anyway, Maxine doesn't listen to Socks and ends up paying the price that all people who ignore cat advice end up paying.

They turn into monsters with anuses for eyeballs!

Back to Rotworld, I have to immediately scan another picture. Ever since Beast Boy appeared in Rotworld, I've been saying he's the best Beast Boy so far in the New 52. This issue, Lemire and Pugh aren't done trying to show Mackie, DeFalco, and Lobdell how to write this kid.

He's a giraffe! Wearing Mallah's beret and bandolier! Ha ha!

The few humans left in the world climb into one of Frankenstein's army's supply wagons to get some sleep before they reach Metropolis. Buddy Baker dreams he's back in San Diego at home with his family. He even remembers battling Crazy Quilt the night before. Hopefully he didn't incarcerate him before he gets a chance to beat the shit out of Jason Todd.

In his dream, zombie Cliff tells him to not turn his back on the boy since the boy won't be dead yet. Probably a warning about Willam Arcane. Or Damian Wayne! Everyone should be warned about that bar steward. Erm, bastard.

And then they get to Metropolis!

It looks like the Metropolis where Superman is going to have his final confrontation with Vyndktvx!

Metropolis is covered in vegetation which confuses everybody. Constantine and Black Orchid feel something familiar about the power used to cover Metropolis in vegetation. My guess is it's Blackbriar Thorn, evil druid of evil.

Eh. Close enough!

Animal Man #15 Rating: +1 Ranking. This Rotworld crossover would be the best crossover if Death of the Family wasn't over there being such a good crossover. Although they really might be neck and neck. I like seeing all of these future versions of the super heroes. Especially the dead ones since Lemire is making all of the crappy written heroes into Rot Things. I bet Green Arrow is the next Rotten Hero to come along!

No comments:

Post a Comment