Sunday, December 9, 2012

Batman: The Dark Knight #14


Batman has been gassed by Crane about a half dozen times since the Reboot. Can you say "Fear Toxin Addict"?

It seems like Batman has spent a couple of weeks hallucinating in Crane's dirty basement. Well, he's finally escaped and he's ready for the physical altercation part of the confrontation with Jonathan Crane. This usually lasts about two panels. Batman paneling Crane and then Crane paneling the floor. Wait, that's not right.

Batman takes a scythe to the shoulder as he attacks The Scarecrow. And even though it penetrated Batman's suit, I won't argue that this is a hallucination. The Scarecrow probably has a Vorpal Scythe, +5 Against Flying Rodents. The Scarecrow believes Batman is still partially suffering from the fear toxin and that might explain what Batman does to the Scarecrow.


I think Batman panicked. Or I can simply believe Batman is completely in control of every move during a battle and there was never even a slight chance of the bat-grapple exploding Crane's head.

While The Scarecrow extricates himself from the roof, The Batman crawls off leaving a trail of blood. The Scarecrow grabs one vial of his Fear Toxin made from children's tears and his own piss, and frees the little girl he currently has locked up in the house. She runs outside just before the house explodes sending The Scarecrow tumbling across the yard. The house exploded due to some major damage to the water heater or the gas line or the electrical wiring or something. Maybe all of those things helped!

Robin finds Batman nearly out of his mind and nearly out of blood. He takes him back to Wayne Manor where Alfred fixes him some tea and fixes up his wounds.


Quick! Someone pee on Damian's face! You can make a Fear Toxin Antidote!

Let this be a lesson to you, Batman! Never confront The Scarecrow without taking some kind of precaution. You'd think he'd have some kind of anti-fear deodorant or Be Brave Aftershave (TM). The old sitcom Batman would have been ready! Although it would have looked like he wasn't ready by the end of the episode. You'd have to wait until the beginning of the next episode to realize Batman was never really in any danger. But even if Batman wasn't prepared to fight off the new super Fear Formula, he could have been a lot more cautious and gone in with a scuba tank or some other kind of breathing apparatus.

While the Batman and Gordon drill the little girl (interrogate her!), The Scarecrow heads off to speak with the most popular guy in Gotham right now.


Where the fuck is Ogilvy?

The Penguin has been causing trouble in all kinds of comics this Reboot. He's been selling Nuclear Missiles to Somali Pirates, he's been helping out young up and coming hoodlums, he's been fucking with Bruce Wayne, he's hired Lady Shiva to cause some trouble, he's attending The Joker's big party, and now he's helping The Scarecrow. He probably did some other things that I don't remember and those things were probably pretty vile. Oh yeah! He had Catwoman's Talon Daggers in her Night of the Owls crossover. Oswald should lose some weight with all the action he's getting.

The Scarecrow has hired The Penguin to build a Fear Toxin releasing blimp. Except for being paid in a big bag of diamonds, I'm not totally sure why The Penguin helps out Jonathan Crane on this one. The Penguin is a business man. Sure, he's an unethical businessman who will do anything he can to make some money or gain the upper hand in a deal. But helping The Scarecrow turn Gotham into a giant riot of panic? Well, hell. I guess there's money to be made even in that!


I hope this doesn't mess up The Joker's party.

Batman: The Dark Knight #14 Rating: No change. I wonder if the torture of Batman helped Crane develop an even stronger fear toxin? Not much really happened this issue. This issue was kind of like the hallway from the living room to the kitchen. You don't really spend much time there but there are usually a lot of pictures to look at on your way to the other end.

3 comments:

  1. Love that part where Batman nearly shoots the Scarecrow's fucking jaw off with that grappling gun! That's some shit worthy of Rorschach.

    And seriously? All you need you a Anti-Fear Toxin is piss and kid tears? really? What kind of fucked up pseudo-science is that? Gotta' love comics don't ya'?

    And you make a good point about the Penguin; for a fat guy, he really gets around. Get it?:)
    No seriously, he really has fingers in a lot of pies, just not the ones that really matter;)

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  2. I may have embellished, possibly outright lied, about the way The Scarecrow's fear toxin (and, as such, the antidote) is made.

    Now I want to draw The Penguin eating lots of pies.

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    1. Aww, you had me going there fora minute, because I was like, "yeah that sounds fucked up, but it is DC." SO you can see how I kind of took that bait hook, line, and sinker. Ha, ha, you so crazy:)

      Oh and the Penguin eating a lot of pies? Well that's a whole lot better than the a lot of the hentai/erotic pictures I've seen of him floating around on the web. Brrr!

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