Monday, December 31, 2012

Legion of Super-heroes #15

You can tell when a comic book is desperate for a jump in sales because they shove a dinosaur on the front hoping that small boys wandering through the comic book stores will make their parents buy it for them.

Last issue, a bunch of Legionnaires were doing a bunch of stuff. There was a lot of drama. I think somebody cried. Now that I'm all caught up, DINOSAURS!

But first, the Legionnaires argue all morning about their missing comrade Glorith. She disappeared into a pink portal the night before but they don't know that. They just know she's missing. They spend the rest of the morning having the following conversation:

Dragonwing: "Glorith is missing and she was supposed to go shopping with me while I told her about how I can breathe fire and shoot acid venom out of my orifices."
Harmonia: "She probably went shopping without you. I can sense these things because I'm a natural elemental."
Chemical Kid: "But she wouldn't go anywhere without first saying how much she likes how I catalyze chemical reactions so well!"
Brainiac 5: "Using my 12th Level Intelligence, I agree with whoever is eventually going to be right."
Cosmic Boy: "But you're wrong! I should also remind everyone that I can manipulate magnetism."
Mon-El: "Until all of our fans send in their votes for a new leader, I'm still the one in charge! With my super speed and super senses and flight and invulner...."
Science Police: "Alert! Alert! Stop fucking arguing and go fight some fucking dinosaurs in future Barcelona! Alert! Alert!"


Brainiac 5 deduces that a Timestorm has hit Barcelona. People and creatures from all across time have ended up in 31st Century Barcelona. Maybe if Brainiac 5 studies this phenomenon, he'll be able to fix the Time Bubbles so they can bypass the Flashpoint.

Ultra Kid smashes some tanks and Mon Boy punches some dinosaurs and Harmonkey makes it rain and Brainiac 5 strokes his chin and eventually they figure out that someone is using Glorith to create the Timestorm. So they have her shield herself from the world with her magic and the trouble stops. Then Brainiac says, "We'll have to keep an eye out for who did this!" And life returns to normal.

Legion of Super-heroes #15 Rating: -2 Ranking. Why the fuck did I buy this issue? And just when I thought I was beginning to like this comic book. Blech!

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