Poison Ivy #1

How many covers is Batman going to be on this month?

Have we discussed Poison Ivy's bush yet? I know! How immature! How childish! How Mallrats of you! But I've got to figure she's got a nicely sculpted topiary going on down there. None of that clean shaven bullshit for Poison Ivy. But exotic animals prancing about her pudenda? Oh yeah! Definitely. Probably with little blossoms popping up here and there. Maybe one of those Penis Mantraps. You know. Just in case.

You know why I'm talking about Poison Ivy's dainty bits, right? Because I just read her Who's Who entry and discovered her raw sex appeal! No wonder guys love to kiss her and die! She is looking pretty sexy on this cover. Look how high her boobs are! She probably has some kind of pushup kudzu bra deal going on in there. Her cleavage basically starts at her clavicle. Clavage? Cleavicle?

The issue begins with chaos in the streets of Gotham and Poison Ivy strutting about because she says there is no Batman. Does that mean this issue is actually taking place in the "Now" of DC Time with Batman having been disappeared by the Crime Syndicate? Creeper, Cyborg Superman, and The Joker have all taken place at some point in the past. Whenever it is, it doesn't stop Poison Ivy from, like The Joker, having a few nostalgic remembrances of her lovely childhood.

I don't think the New 52 Poison Ivy's parents are as wealthy as her Preboot parents.

These flashback scenes are beautiful. Between these and The Joker's flashback scenes, I'm wondering why DC doesn't allow more artists to use various styles on the monthly books. I suppose the art direction needs to keep the look of the comic books within some defined set of parameters because you don't want super hero fans picking up a book and getting beautiful art that looks too different from what they were expecting. Or it could be just to make things easier for pencillers and inkers to work together. I imagine some of the more beautiful work like this can only be done when you have one artist laying down the lines. And I don't want to shortchange what the colorist is doing here! Gorgeous. I just want more of this stuff! And the Joker flashback stuff! Stuff stuff!

Poison Ivy wanders about Gotham encountering people that remind her of her past. She runs into an abusive father which reminds her of her father and how he would manipulate her mother with flowers for her garden and she would always forgive him. Then she runs into a bunch of punks burning down the Gotham Botanical Gardens and she's reminded of her father losing control and killing her mother. She buries these punks alive in the Gotham gardens just as her father buried her mother's body in her garden so many years ago.

Poison Ivy's got them Daddy Issue Blues.

Poison Ivy got a job with Wayne Enterprises and was almost immediately fired when she approached Bruce Wayne with a plan to sell their products to everybody by using pheromones to make everybody want their product. Bruce loves money but he's more into real estate and weapon technologies that Batman can use, so the pheromones thing just wasn't what the company was looking for. Pamela tried to leave with her research and experiments and was caught. In the ensuing struggle, she was doused by her experiments, gaining the power to talk with plants, manipulate them, and resist all poisons. At least she didn't have to sleep with a skeazy French Professor this time around.

You mean until Katana killed you and it was never fucking mentioned ever again! Fuck you, Duane Swierczynski. Holy shit! I spelled his name correctly on the first try!

Poison Ivy is turning Gotham City into a jungle while Batman is away, so I guess that will have to be dealt with at some point. When that will be, I have no idea! I suppose the Villains Month books that are taking place in real time are happening after everybody joined the Secret Society of Super-Villains and given carte blanche to fuck up Earth Prime.

Poison Ivy #1 Rating: It was an average origin story with a few moments of eyeball candy flashbacks. Not horrible is about the best I can muster.