Sunday, August 28, 2016

Doctor Fate #15

The Review!
This issue begins by making the reader think the real threat is a bunch of mummies. But in actuality, it is woman who is the enemy! I suppose "mummy" is a play on "fucking bitches, amirite?"

Exhibit A: Khalid believes women are mind-controlling manipulators who demand constant attention!

Exhibit B: Kent believes they are fearful, wrath-filled monsters who will make your life hell if you fail them.

Now that readers unambiguously understand the metaphor at play in this issue, I will assume that any comment about mummies is simply Paul Levitz and Sonny Liew's thoughts on women. Khalid first describes them as inarticulate. Just a bunch of blabbering monsters with nothing important to say! I mean, I suppose if Khalid would open up his male ears and really give what they were saying a listen instead of listening to the women around him while his mind screams "Blah blah blah blah blah!", maybe he wouldn't think women were just stumbling around the city going, "Unnnnnhhhhhhhhhh!" Maybe if their mouths weren't wrapped up and gagged by the bandages of the Patriarchy, Khalid would be able to hear what they were saying! Maybe they're the most articulate and men are just cavemen who language not good for. Oops! Sorry! I didn't mean to swing the pendulum that far to the other side and begin bashing men just to uplift women. We're all in this together! We need to lift everybody up together! You know what they say: A rising tide lifts all boats! Except, of course, for the boats with really short chains on their anchors. Those boats just get swamped by the rising tide and sink. I don't think you're supposed to think about that though when you hear the rising tide advice.

Khalid does mention that the "mummies" are "not ineffective." That's a compliment, right? I should use that one next time I see a woman accomplish something great. I'll be all, "Wow! You're totally not ineffective!"

Exhibit C: Just in case you didn't get the analogy from Exhibits A and Exhibits B! We can't all be Grandmaster Comic Book Readers! And by "we," I mean "you."

The women are completely overrunning the park while Dr. Fate tries to find Shaya, his girlfriend who won't have sex with him. That might be why he's so angry at women. She's all, "We need to be responsible and concentrate on medical school and we don't want any life choice mistakes messing up our plans!" And Khalid is all, "Come on. Just touch it!"

Meanwhile his neighbor Akila who can't think of anything but touching it is worming her way into his parents' hearts. So manipulative! She's pretending to be concerned about racism and organizing a march which she wants Khalid's parents to be involved in but it's so transparent that she's just trying to get Khalid's parents to like her so that they convince their son that she's the one he should marry. These mummies are so inarticulate and manipulative and frigid and whores too! Um, is what, um, Paul Levitz probably thinks based on what I'm reading here.

See? "Very adult work!" That's porn! Also note how sexist Mohammad Nassour is: "In these difficult times, we must be grateful to you women! Even if we don't want to be! Ptui!" He, um, was probably thinking.

Khalid, as Doctor Fate, saves Shaya and she's completely ungrateful. Not that she needs to be grateful or owes Doctor Fate anything like sex or whatever else women have of value. But it certainly shows Khalid's attitude toward Shaya. She treats him like shit during the entire rescue (perhaps because she finds him a bit presumptuous? And who needs to have some guy presuming shit right after you almost had your head ripped off by a mummy (or another woman, if I keep to the metaphor? Analogy? Transposition?) and all he can think after dropping her off is, "Well, she would have been sweet and not a total dick if she'd known it was me!"

The real Dr. Fate arrives to turn the women into dust which seems really misogynistic so maybe they were just mummies all along. Maybe I was just reading this story through the lens of my own sexism. Maybe I should work on my flaws instead of trying to point out those same flaws in other people. Maybe I should...what am I saying?! I'm an Internet denizen! The main reason to be on the Internet is to ignore your own flaws while pointing out or just plain making up flaws in other people! I'm fine!

And speaking of fine, this comic book has gotten way better than when it began although I still wouldn't really recommend it. Maybe if you're into Dr. Fate or you hate women. If you are, this comic book still hasn't ended. It's totally defying Rebirth!

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