Monday, August 29, 2016

Blue Beetle Rebirth #1

Now that Ted Kord is in this comic book, I can probably stop superimposing his Blue Beetle face on Jaime's Blue Beetle face.

The Review!
Keith Giffen is back to writing Blue Beetle. I suppose he was writing him in Justice League 3000 but that felt like cheating. I wonder how long before Ted Kord is fat again? Or how long before Booster Gold arrives? Maybe Booster Gold will visit with a young sidekick too, Boosterina Goldess, and she can have a romantic fling with Jaime. But Jaime will probably be disappointing and she'll move on to more popular superhero boyfriends and Jaime will never recover because he believes she's his one true love and why can't she see that and how dare she break his heart and she's a total skank jerko to boot! Or maybe Keith Giffen won't mire this book in the nostalgia of his Justice League of America run from many decades ago.

I suppose we're just going to ignore the fact that Ted Kord is back and running around as the Blue Beetle? I guess his mini-appearance in Forever Evil is good enough to explain where he came from? Although this falls under the Rebirth Label which means anything within the story trumps anything you might think you already knew of the DC Universe.

This issue is a better than average typical Keith Giffen comic book. I mean it's both a better than average regular comic book and a better than average comic book written by Keith Giffen. First off, he does that dialogue thing that he does where everybody sort of has the same way of bantering no matter who they are. So Brenda and Paco banter in much the same way that Ted and Jaime banter in much the same way that Rack and Ruin banter in much the same way that every character in The Heckler banters with every other character in The Heckler in much the same way that every member of Giffen's Suicide Squad banter with every other member of Giffen's Suicide Squad in much the same way Sugar and spice banter in much the same way...I don't know how to get out of this sentence! Oh wait! I did it! Whew. I think I made my point.

Keith Giffen begins by giving this comic book an easy reason to exist. Jaime Reyes wants the Blue Beetle off of his back because it's taking over his life and, apparently, it itches. He reaches out to Ted Kord because Ted is a nice guy billionaire industrialist who knows a thing or two about Blue Beetles. That's the simple premise and it would be good enough to launch this book. But Giffen adds another layer in that Ted Kord's top priority isn't removing Jaime's albascarab. Ted Kord would rather live vicariously through Jaime since Kord has a severe heart condition that limits his ability to fulfill the Blue Beetle role. Add to this Giffen's willingness to keep the previous world-building of Jaime's world relatively intact to include his family, Brenda, Paco, and even Aunt Amparo who is still after his scarab for her magic collection. Add to this Doctor Fate and some imbecilic bad guys and you've got an entertaining Blue Beetle comic book. Plus it has the added bonus of appealing to the only Blue Beetle fans that matter: Ted Kord and Jaime Reyes fans. Fuck all the Dan Garrett fans! And super fuck all of the Dan Garret fans! Although most of them are probably dead from World War II.

Brenda is still as feisty and sexy and hot and underage as I remember her! And fictional! Remember she's fictional so her age doesn't matter and I'm allowed to have a crush on her no matter how gross and problematic that seems to judgmental jerkfaces! She's a drawing of a nonexistent person! I'm pretending she's a thirty year old narc working with Checkmate to uncover underage metahumans. So she totally does it and stuff.

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