Her finger is glistening because she's a filthy sex pervert.
Have I primed everybody up for the sexy romp we're about to take with Starfire? Or are you all just feeling a little queasy now?
The issue begins with Starfire telling her story about how she was kept in a woman's prison with sexually depraved women convicted of womanly depravities. Boy, I wish I knew more about that kind of stuff. Maybe Lord Google's Image Search can teach me more about it! Oooh! Whoa! Interesting! Here's one of the things I learned about "womanly depravities":
Sexy! Right? I'm feeling...squooshy? No?
Cute is for kittens! Starfire is erogenous!
Starfire sells a diamond and is all, "I do not English! It is funny, no?" And everybody is all, "No. Take off your top." But Starfire is all, "I will take off my top but only when it is my idea and when it can showcase my power and it will not be to titillate you self-diddling comic book monkey monsters. I mean, 'What is top? Do you mean my head?'"
After crying about dead old people which wasn't sexy at all, Starfire and her new best friend decide to have some beers. It's okay though because Sheriff Gomez doesn't work until later, so getting drunk won't be a problem right now. You can tell Starfire gets drunk almost immediately because she begins contracting her words. She also slips immediately into some of her perverse womanly depravity fantasies.
A woman's vagina looks like a star over a pistol?! I mean, um, that's hot! Look at that vagina! Oh yeah! Just like all of the other ones I've seen!
Yes, Kori. Please try to avoid talking with men.
The scene shifts to Sheriff Gomez's brother who is part of the coast guard or something. His name is Sol which probably means he'll be depraving with Starfire any page now. Also he lost his wife in a hurricane two years ago and he hasn't been in the mood for a good depraving since, even though his coworker Raveena has been shoving her depravities in his face for months now. But I bet Starfire will have just the right combination of innocence and loads of sex that is just what all men are looking for! They all want a sexpot that has never had sex before!
The storm turns into a hurricane so Kori takes shelter with Boone and his grandmother and his grandmother's parrot. But the trailer they're sheltering in is tipped over and they hear loud noises that aren't thunder, so Starfire exits the trailer and steps into the storm where she sees...well, you'll find out what she sees next month if you know what's depraved for you. It's probably the Weather Wizard. Or the Fearsome Five.
Starfire #1 Rating: This book is about as hilarious as an episode of NCIS and as sexually titillating as an episode of Three's Company with the sophisticated gender sensibility of The Love Boat.