Wonder Woman's sideburns are sexy.
It's three in the morning and Clark's phone rings. Diana doesn't answer it but she notices it's a Smallville area code, so she wakes up Clark, hands him the phone, and bristles at the woman on the other end: fudgefudging fudger Lana fudging Lang. I bet Superman rushes off to help her which is okay, I guess, because Diana probably can't get any angrier than she is now. Blue balled, cold, lonely, ignored, and taken for granted! Why is she still dating this asshole? Especially since half the time, he's being written by Greg Pak. Gross!
Wonder Woman doesn't go fast enough so Lana and Steel are gone by the time they get there. Abducted! That only leaves one course of action: put on a disguise and go ask around in town!
Look at that! Tomasi has a calm person rationally state why Clark has become a pariah. Now was that so hard?
One of the old guys in front of the barber shop has the old Kent mailbox. He said it fell out of the sky. So Clark and Diana head to the farm to find Clark's old house and barn and shed and chicken coop and driveway and fence and probably his dead pets buried around back gone. Somebody abducted not just Lana and John Henry but the Kent Farm as well. What a mystery!
While Clark and Diana look around, some mystery person watches them via satellite and begins initiating Protocol AC638. What happened in Action Comics #638? I think that's a clue! Etrigan was on the cover! But it was one of those 48 page books with multiple stories, so any one of them could hold the answer to Protocol AC638!
Superman heads over to the Kent Family Cemetery to find all of the bodies have also been stolen. While freaking the fuck out over that, he's attacked by the Suicide Squad. His life really has turned to shit, hasn't it?
Superman Loves Wonder Woman #18 Rating: -1 Ranking. I'm bored by this. Completely bored! Bored almost to annihilation! I'm beginning to cease to exist I've become so bored. Maybe I can force myself into a coma if I concentrate hard enough. If I manage it, will one of you promise to wake me up when this whole Superman Truth thing is over? I think that will be around September.