Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Fury of Firestorm #12

What do the Rogue Firestorms have against two young men in love?

Last issue, Ronniestorm and Pozhar merged to become Scorn. This is something that Jasonstorm cannot abide. After arriving on scene to save his other half, Jason's jealousy takes over and he confronts Scorn, the being created by their merger. Inside Scorn and the Quantum Field, Ronnie cries in the corner after having been assaulted by Pozhar.

I said "Scorn" should have been called "Anal Rape"!

While being used and abused by Pozhar, Ronniestorm can't help thinking back on the way he and Jason used this space less brutally.

Squeal like a Firepig, boy!

Jasonstorm tries to rescue Rakshasi, the Indian Firestorm, from Scorn. Her powers have mysteriously been shut off and she's become defenseless. And then, in Jasonstorm's arms, she blows up and is incinerated. She was created by Zithertech and Zithertech just recalled her. Zithertech is about to be investigated by Congress so Director Zither (the woman with the half-Commander Cobra mask) has begun revoking the Firestorm protocols from all of the international Firestorms. And by revoking, I mean exploding them into jelly.

Ronnie's mom is simply worried about losing her free housing and food that doesn't look like dog dicks.

Back in Pakistan (or wherever this is occurring), Firehawk and Hurricane, the French and British Firestorms, join in the fight against Scorn. I don't know how much of a chance they stand when Zithertech can simply push a button and put them out of commission. I think only Ronnie, Jason, Pozhar, and the Rogue Firestorms are not under Zithertech's control.

I understand, Ronnie. I understand.

Jasonstorm tries to get Hurricane and Firehawk to back off because he doesn't want their protocols being shut off like Rakshasi's was. But he doesn't realize Zithertech is shutting them all off as a matter of course anyway. So pretty soon, Hurricane and Firehawk are nothing but dust in the wind.

With Firestorms dying all over the place, Ronniestorm (from inside of Scorn) reaches out to Jasonstorm. They need to reaffirm their love for each other so that Pozhar's unnatural attraction to Ronniestorm will be destroyed.

Through the power of love and destiny, they succeed!

Once Jasonstorm and Ronniestorm reconnect, Scorn dissipates. Ronnie and Jason find themselves on the ground and un-firestormed. Pozhar has disappeared. Ronnie can't take his eyes off of his arm which has suddenly come back. Out of their Firestorm personalities, they seem awkward and uncomfortable around each other. I guess their love is just too real to accept when they're back to their normal, high school forms. Although they do manage to walk off into the sunset together.

Unless that's Pozhar. Or the escaped Firestorm Protocol that Professor Stein gave to Jason which was released ineffectively in the battle against Scorn.

The issue ends with Firehawk reappearing and going nuclear on Director Zither. So maybe that spark was Firehawk and she survived when the Firestorm Protocol was opened during the battle. Zither and her company were done for anyway. After Firestorm #0, it's time for this book to take a new direction that doesn't involve a constant battle against terrorist states and nuclear nations.

The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men #12 Rating: No change. The book is much better as a love story. I'm glad this entire story arc is over with. Maybe Joe Harris can start up something interesting and super heroic in the next arc. Plus, that cover really, really, really, super really had nothing to do with the story inside.

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