Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Batwoman #11


I liked Sune better when she didn't have a penis.

Last issue, I was hoping it would be the last issue of the current story arc. But it just keeps going! Not that it's a horrible story. But, you know, it keeps going! I think Batwoman's comic is supposed to mirror Batman's comic. So while he's fighting the Court of Owls and his own inner turmoil about his relationship with Gotham, Batwoman is fighting Gotham's Urban Legends and her intense desire to fuck the shit out of Detective Maggie. Seems like a pretty good parallel.

Oh, anyway, last issue, Sune transformed into her brother Maro right before Batwoman's eyes. But I don't think Batwoman remembers the transformation. Hmm. That sounds really familiar and I can't quite place why.


Yeah, a bit, actually.

Oh yeah! The woman changing into a man right in front of other people who don't realize the transformation was from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Glory and her brother, um, Doctor Not Glory!
Meanwhile, in the hospital, Jacob's story is taking place right now! I think all of the various stories being told are all going to be told in the present so this story arc can reach a conclusion. The doctors are ready to give up on Kate because she's taking up a valuable bed and she's been in a coma, like, a really long time.

Doctor: "Other people really could use the hospital real estate, not to mention her valuable organs, and don't you think it's better to let her go, Jacob?"
Jacob: "She's strong! She has the strength of a flaming bird! Get it? Hint hint. She can't die. Do you really think Williams and Blackman got the go ahead from DC to kill a long time member of Teen Titans West? Did you hear me, Doc?! TEEN. TITANS. WEST!"
Doctor: "Bah! Look, I'm a fucking doctor and this is just a person I don't give a shit about and you do. You just need to listen to the profesh..."
Flamebird: "Uncle Jake?"
Jacob: "She's awake! Doctor! She's awake!"
Doctor: "No, no. That was just an involuntary muscle spasm."

Now Maggie's story which takes place fifteen minutes from now. Okay, so this will show us the end of Batwoman's fight with Maro from a different perspective and then we'll get to go back in time fifteen minutes to see how it all went down from Batwoman's view? That's crazy!


Yes! I can't wait to read the story about fifteen minutes ago where Kate fucks everyone!

So, fifteen minutes ago, Chase appears at the fight scene between Batwoman and Maro. Oh boy! Here it goes! How do you think Chase and Batwoman and Maro are going to screw? I bet Maro transforms into a beast with twelve penises and just starts plugging the holes of anything that moves. And then maybe Chase will...oh. Um, nevermind. Chase didn't mean "screwed" as in "fucked" but "screwed" as in "fucked over."


My scene would have been so much more interesting.

Batwoman stops Chase from killing Maro and then throws FemBatarang into Killer Croc's eyeball. Batwoman must be really precise with her violence to know that she's not going to accidentally kill anybody even though she keeps freaking out every time anybody else uses a weapon on someone. And because Batwoman screwed up Chase's shot, Maro is only wounded and transforms into a fox. And foxes always manage to escape through the portal with all of the kidnapped children!


What the hell is a "gios"? Or "gio"?

Kate Kane also had a story moment where she sat on the couch revealing secrets with Maggie Sawyer. No, no! Not the Batwoman secret! But she does tell her all about her family and Maggie shares that she has a daughter. I think that means they've entered a new stage in their relationship! Is this Third Base?

Batwoman #11 Rating: No change.

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