The Flash #11

Wasn't Heatwave one of the Masters of Disaster from Batman and the Outsiders?

Barry Allen is dead. So is Clark Kent! Is this a new trend in Super Heroics? Forget the secret identity and just go super hero full time. But Flash isn't like Superman. Superman can go without eating or drinking or breathing or defecating for months. The Flash actually needs to eat ten to twenty times as much as a normal person. How is he going to afford that lifestyle? Is he just going to steal everything he needs since he's doing everyone a service saving their asses? I imagine he'll figure out he needs Barry sooner or later.

Barry Allen (Not Barry Allen?) has moved from Central City to The Keys in Keystone City where all of the criminals live. Nice to know the city has a place set aside just for them. He figures nobody will recognize him in the poor part of town and he can get a job and live in some decrepit apartment building. But first he needs a job so he can pay for the hundreds of tacos he eats every day. He uses the stupid power that I can't stand that lets him somehow see the different future of every possible choice he can make.

I hate that stupid power! The essence of it is that he can speed up his mind and use it like a Quantum Computer, seeing every single future possibility and then picking the one which best suits his needs. But just thinking fast doesn't let you see the fucking future, you stupid pricks! Also, thinking fast actually needs to be part of his super power or else he can't make decisions or see things or speak when running at super speeds. He would just be deaf and dumb and blind and instantly run into a wall.

Anyway, he finds a job at a saloon thanks to his stupid precognitive ability.

Least imaginative bartender ever!

Meanwhile, Flash's old friend, Dr. Elias, is on a media campaign denouncing super heroes. Yay. Another Glorious Godfrey/Superfail nutjob making comic books more boring and cliche. Who watches the Watchmen, motherfuckers! I'm pretty sure Watchmen was the final word on this whole society versus super hero motif.

Barry and Leonard (Captain Cold) are hanging out together at the bar watching Elias on television. Barry's job at this bar which seems to have a tradition of super villains drinking here allows him to keep an ear on underbelly of Keystone City. He's hoping to find out who's been burning down a bunch of buildings in the area. He and Captain Cold seem to be hitting it off a little bit since neither one of them is happy with Dr. Elias's crusade against super powered people. They commiserate and share a few drinks.

No, wait, that's me and a Cabbage Patch Kid.

That's better. Forget that picture of me cosplaying Captain Cold with The Flash as my hostage.

Just as The Flash is becoming good friends with Captain Cold, Heatwave busts in looking for Leonard. Heatwave blames Captain Cold for the burnt look and the pot belly stove.

Okay, so the furnace is actually in his chest. But I wish it were in his belly so the joke would work.

Barry gets tossed out the window which gives him a chance to return as The Flash. He doesn't know what they're arguing about but he ends the skirmish by running around them in circles and pulling the oxygen from the air. Once they pass out, the cops arrive and haul them off to Iron Heights prison. Seems Barry's precog power found him just the right job working at a Rogue's Gallery drinking establishment so he can keep an eye on things.

As for Cold and Heatwave's problem with each other, they work it out on the way to prison.

And with a little help from Cold's sister, looks like they'll be taking a detour away from Iron Heights. Along with Weather Wizard, looks like Lisa is collecting quite the Rogue's Gallery.

The Flash #11 Rating: +1 Ranking. This comic reminds me of reading comics thirty years ago before I ever picked any title up continuously, a time when I could find a box of old comics in the paper recycling picked up by my grandfather. I didn't need to know the history of anyone. I just enjoyed reading about Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD, or The Incredible Hulk, or even Archie. This comic has that kind of a feel. Like I could pick this single issue off of the rack at the drugstore and enjoy it on its own. Except it also has a modern sensibility and feel for continuity if you wanted to continue reading the series. I like it a lot.