Friday, August 24, 2012

All Star Western #12


I wonder if they meant for Jonah Hex and Arkham to be the headlining characters in this comic from the start or if DC just realized it was really working, so they left them as the stars. I like the format although I've enjoyed less than half the back-up stories so far.

Last month, Jonah Hex and Amadeus Arkham were still strung up in a steampunk trap set up by the Crime Bible Society. Tallulah had managed to escape before the Crime Bible leaders arrived to watch the execution. Why are villains constantly over-estimating their abilities?

I suppose they've over-estimated their abilities since they have over a dozen old timey Gotham police men acting as security. They all split up and begin searching the house for her. Now, I understand that they want to find her. And they're not going to wander around the house in big groups. But I would think the best bet to capture her is when she comes back for Arkham and Hex. And if she doesn't do that, well, at least those two guys are out of the picture. But I'm viewing this situation through the lenses of a reader that knows which side is going to win. I suppose if you're on the side of the police and a ruthless organization like The Crime Bible Cult, you might think you're the good guy as well! And Tallulah and Hex are so scarred and disfigured, they must be evil.


"Do you think I stand a chance with her after her skin is burnt off and she's on the verge of dying?"

Tallulah manages to kill all of the police utilizing her endless supply of sass and wits. Also a hatchet and bullets too. The only person left upstairs to face her is Lorna Kyle, the Lord of Thieves. Is she supposed to be an ancestor of Catwoman's?


Come on, DC! Her original outfit two pages ago with the long dress was so much better! How dare you insult us fans by changing her outfit and disrespecting us! I'm never reading another Lorna Kyle comic again! She deserves better!

Tallulah manages to gouge out the Lord of Thieves eyes after taking a few daggers to the shoulders. If she is a relation to Selina Kyle, here's hoping she's already had the children! Or at least is just a great aunt.

Tallulah seems to be taking her time getting to the rescue bit so Hex tells the other Crime Lords how he already spoke with Mister Wayne and how Wayne and a posse should be there soon to rescue them. But Amadeus can't sit idly by while he dies any longer. He's just got to get something off of his chest.


He could just as easily be talking about Sean Hannity!

Before the steam switch can be thrown to roast Hex and Arkham, Tallulah and Wayne with his men come smashing down the stairs shooting off people's fingers. Well, just Tallulah does that. Everyone is rescued! And the Crime Bible jerks are caught!

Charlotte the Harlotte, Lord Duggar and Lord Charles are all executed a few days later. If I missed any of them (because there were five!), Tallulah must have killed him and I didn't notice. He might have been the one to get his head chopped off earlier.

After the hanging, Wayne offers to help Arkham expand Arkham's manor into an asylum when a man named Reginald pulls up to speak with Hex and Arkham. He needs their help concerning his the man he works for, Dr. Jekyll.

That's the end of this story. Not a lot going on to really comment on. They're in a trap. They're rescued. The bad guys are hanged. A new lead appears. The end!

The last part of The Haunted Highwayman with Dr. Thirteen reads like an episode of Scooby Doo or a Nancy Drew book. I suppose the first part did as well but my focus was on learning about Dr. Thirteen and I missed all the fake ghost crap. Through science and logic and knowing that the enemy is never actually a ghost or a monster, Dr. Thirteen catches the bad guy. The bad guy curses Dr. Thirteen and his descendants before being hanged (he also murders a detective) but Dr. Thirteen does not believe in curses! Ha ha! Foiled your last wishes, you superstitious imbecile!

All Star Western #12 Rating: No change. Since this issue really just concludes the two ongoing stories and I didn't have much to say about either of them, I should just delete all of this text and replace it with, "Read it. Wayne saves the day. Dr. Thirteen doesn't buy into bullshit. The end."

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