Sunday, August 5, 2012

New Guardians #11


If Larfleeze were to defeat the Rainbow Corps, this is what would happen. Not the worst thing in the world.

With all the Central Batteries being destroyed, only the Violet Battery remains active. Last month, the Green and Violet batteries were left but since then, the Alpha Green Lanterns shut down the Green Lanterns main battery. We're getting closer to a world without Central Power Batteries! And now, if the Orange Lantern Larfleeze actually has a Central Battery as well as his little battery (I'm guessing it's one and the same), he'd better hide that shit because the Rainbow Lantern Corps are paying his ass a visit.

The Rainbow Corps have set up base camp on one of the moons of Okaara, Larfleeze's home planet. They're waiting for Munk and Bleez and I'm beginning to think I should have read Green Lantern #11 first although the stories don't actually affect one another.


Last I saw Munk, he was just returned to normal in the pages of Green Lantern. And last I saw Bleez, she was in the middle of a love/hate debate with Fatality on Zamora! So I don't know where she rushed off to that Fatality is back with the Rainbow Corps but Bleez needed to be fetched. Frickin' Lanterns are all overworked!

Meanwhile on Okaara, Larfleeze reconstructs Glomulus. Glomulus had been unincorporated (or something! I don't know the term!) by the cat-eating alien assassin in the pages of Blue Beetle. The Orange Corps is the best of the Rainbow Corps! Their members can be killed and then Larfleeze just recreates them and they come back having their memories right up until they were destroyed.

Larfleeze argues with his pet Guardian about how the Guardians have really been meddling lately. I have no idea why Larfleeze and this Guardian hang out since all of that is ancient Pre-New 52 non-history. But this Guardian doesn't have any current congress with the other Guardians and has no idea what they might be up to. I have a feeling that, very soon, the Rainbow Corps is going to realize that the Guardians are behind all of this nonsense.

Now that all the Rainbow Corps members are in attendance (except, of course, Larfleeze. Unless Glomulus is the Orange member of the Corps), they begin their assault on Okaara. But Larfleeze smells them coming and a Rainbow Battle begins!


You mean "Okaaraquake." Oh, Kyle. You humans are so narcissistic.

Meanwhile, on the outer edge of the Vega System, Invictus begins obliterating planets just like he said he was going to do. And since the flaming furnace in his chest has the power of the Death Star, and the Rainbow Corps have not kept up their end of the bargain, Invictus destroys the planet Aello first.


And he replaces it with the Aello from his Orrery. Invictus is doing his own DC Reboot. At least of the Vega system.

Back on Okaara, Munk's Indigo power is having little effect on the Orange Lanterns. Since the Indigo Lanterns channel the powers of the other Corps, he tries all of the colors but none of them seem to do much damage. Until Kyle suggests Munk channel the Orange Lantern power back on the Orange Lanterns.


No fair!

Kyle Rayner turns his attention to Larfleeze. Take out the general and all that, right? Right! Except Kyle is nearly knocked out by Larfleeze smacking him in the face with his Orange Lantern. Holy shit, you suck, Kyle. You have a weapon that allows you to defeat your enemies from great distances and you rush in to get your clock cleaned by a guy swinging a fucking lantern around. You, sir, are the worst.

Once Kyle is down, Larfleeze prepares to turn Kyle into an Orange Lantern. I think Kyle would die in the process! So Glommy jumps in to rescue Kyle. And Larfleeze is not happy about it.


But if Glommy stays dead, Larfleeze has a permanent hole in his collection. No collector can stand that for long.

The Rainbow Corps is about to capture Larfleeze when he calls out to Sayd, his captured Guardian, for help. But Sayd has had enough and decides that eleven issues is long enough to wait for the big reveal.


Well, for half of the big reveal. The explanation will have to wait until next issue.

Sayd doesn't explain any further because Invictus has just pulled up alongside Okaara looking to kill Larfleeze. Fatality also wants to kill him. So I guess next issue, we'll see who gets to him first!

New Guardians #11 Rating: +1 Ranking. Tony Bedard has been writing two very solid comics. It's too bad Blue Beetle sales are so low. It's a fun read but I'm guessing it won't make it past the fourth wave of cuts. I don't know what sales are like on this comic but I'm guessing they're doing okay since it's a Green Lantern tie-in title.

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