Friday, January 27, 2012

Superman #5

Who comes up with these stupid covers?

When we last saw Superman, he was being attacked by a fire being and an ice being and a lizard being that used to be invisible to his Kryptonian eyes but could suddenly be seen by Superman at the end of the comic although the cover makes it look like it's invisible again. *breath* (Yes, I meant 'breath' there and not 'breathe'. As in 'take a breath' but shortened. Which I should have just said since now it's super longer)

I don't usually make a big deal about people's spelling or grammar errors online. I'm not grading the fucking internet! This blog is also informal and mostly stream of consciousness, so I expect errors to crop up. If I see them when going back over an old post, I'll edit the post and correct it. But mostly I don't mind a few errors here and there. The speed of thought and the speed of typing don't make the best of friends. But when I see things in professional works such as comic books, I'll definitely taunt the creators. But mostly the editors because what the fuck are they doing allowing the Smallville Cemetery to be spelled Cemetary?

Oh, sure! We could make excuses for it in the story and not just assume the artist can't spell. Maybe Smallville has a really super smart ironworks guy but he just can't stop spelling cemetery wrong? Things like this happen in real life. There's a marble gravestone in a cemetery in Portland carved with the words, "Our baby is with the angles now". And nobody noticed! So my girlfriend and I refer to it as the Mathematician's Grave.

I just wanted to bring this up because I see breath and breathe used incorrectly quite often. The one I really hate though is 'lose' and 'loose'. I've about thrown in the towel on that one. It's probably about a fifty/fifty chance now that if a programmer of an independent game uses the word 'lose' (as in didn't win), he'll instead use 'loose' (as in not tight). It used to just bother me in forums and amateur websites. But it's starting to leak into places that are being designed and polished. A slick game with otherwise good grammar can still surprise me by suddenly say, "You loose!" Fuck you, you losers! Loosers too, I guess! I made a graphic for these people a long time ago:

Anyway, now it's time to see why Superman set these weird freaky creature things on himself! Unless they were lying to him that he created them.

Everybody rushes to the place where Superman is confronting these things because Superman has been caught up in some fire and ice cyclone. So the police come. And the fire department comes. And the journalists come. And the gawkers come. And they all stand around twiddling their twiddlers.

And Superman just absorbs the entire cyclone into himself and says:

Chicken Pot Pie.

And that's the least confusing thing about this issue. After this, News Reports of his weird behaviour start coming in.

These were dismantled robots he already defeated but had saved for study. He changed his mind.


I could accept a mind-controlled Superman destroying robots and even, possibly, killing a monster like Titano, but normal humans? Something is amiss!

Also, here's that 'monster' Titano just before he was murdered by Superman:

“It would perhaps not be amiss to point out that he had always tried to be a good [GORILLA]. He had tried to do all the things his MAN and his WOMAN, and most of all his [SCIENTIST], had asked or expected of him. He would have died for them, if that had been required. He had never wanted to kill anybody. He had been struck by something, possibly destiny, or fate, or only a degenerative [RADIOACTIVE ELEMENT] called [KRYPTONITE]. Free will was not a factor.”

And finally Superman's rampage ends with him doing this to Billy 'The Real McCoy' McCoy, the 'evil jounalist':

Who hasn't wanted to do this?

Throughout it all, Lois seems convinced that something is wrong. She's come to believe there is a connection between Clark and Superman. She's trying to get in contact with him over the phone but also yelling out his name and saying she knows he can hear her.

And he does hear her. From here:

Why did the artist add a lens flare to this? Can we only imagine images that come through a camera lens now?

So he's been floating in space. Has any of this comic really been Superman? The only time in the plot that the switcheroo could have taken place was in Issue #1 when Superman flies the flaming alien into space to put out its flame. But how did that happen? And why? And who is this other Superman? What the fuck is going on, Perez?!

And I don't ask that question like I'm on pins and needles wondering what next issue will bring. I ask that question because this story has just fallen apart. WTF, Perez? W. T. F?

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