Saturday, January 28, 2012

Supergirl #4

Their best shots were robot butterflies and a jellified man.

The problem with this comic is that it's just not particularly fun. But it's not horrible like Captain Atom and Green Arrow where I continually curse the writer's parents for ever learning how to copulate. But it's been four issues of Supergirl confused that she's on Earth, not able to understand anyone, and punching robots and guards. I think Supergirl should be fun!

Playing volleyball on the beach with her girlfriends. Slumber parties with the Birds of Prey girls. Making Lois Lane jealous by constantly flirting with Superman. You know, like the movie from 1984!

That was like that, right?

Speaking of the film, I was more entertained by the comment threads over at Supergirl's IMDB page than this comic! I especially liked the guy who complained that they don't serve BLTs at Popeyes and never have. That's the kind of attention to detail I like in my movie critics!

If Supergirl's clothes are here, then that means...!

Even if this outfit is indestructible, how does that make it armor? So a sword can't cut Supergirl in half. But the clothing seems perfectly elastic. I imagine a normal person wearing this and being shot by a bullet would fair pretty poorly. Just because the bullet can't pierce the suit, it doesn't mean the bullet encased in the suit wouldn't still pierce the skin. It's too thin to be redistributing the force across the material to absorb impact, so bones and organs are still going to take major blunt force trauma.

Unless that is exactly what the suit does! Redistributes the energy all across the suit so that no force actually pushes inward toward the body. Those Kryptonianites are geniuses! Now enough of that! Let's turn the page and see Supergirl naked!

Aww. Kryptonian underwear.

I must be bored with this story line. I can't connect to the character and I've just completely begun to objectify her! Perhaps I'm turning into a serious fanboy who only reads the 'girl' comics for the tits and ass!

Supergirl escapes from whatever she's stuck in with the help of one of Simon Tycho's employees. This guy obviously scored very low on the Evil Minions Loyalty Exam. Perhaps Mr. Tycho should add a Boneli Test to future interviews of lackeys and toadies. At least Mr. Tycho has a good exit strategy for employees that don't feel the same way he does:

Mr. Tycho can think of only one way to get Supergirl back under his control. Reveal to her that he has an item of hers in his possession and try to blackmail her into staying on his satellite.

How embarrassing!

Oh wait. Maybe he isn't interested in blackmailing her. He seems to have quite another agenda:

This comic suddenly became much more interesting!

Although he has experimented with it a bit (who hasn't?!):

I'm not sure I *completely* grasp the euphemism.

Actually, what the thing is, is Kryptonian Sunstone. And Supergirl must have missed her Kryptonian Geology class or else she wouldn't worry about his threat. Because according to Action Comics #5, it takes a very special and super powered person to shatter Kryptonian Sunstone.

Turns out, Supergirl isn't really all that worried anyway. She notices a star chart on the back wall that may be the location of Krypton which Simon downloaded while poking the sunstone. She then blasts a hole in the floor which reaches down to the satellite's reactor, grabs the sunstone, and flies off to enjoy a moment alone with her "artifact".

Oh my!

Meanwhile, Supergirl's Lex Luthor, Simon Tycho, nearly died in the explosion of the satellite. He had to be grafted onto the body of the jellified brain man!

But he's happy this way because in the giant Supergirl versus his guards fight, some of her blood splashed on one of his henchman's uniforms. And that was all he truly wanted! Probably to make some race of super beings or to use the DNA of the blood to splice with his own DNA to make himself a super villain! That's probably his ultimate goal!

Oh yeah. And finally:

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