Monday, January 9, 2012

Firestorm #2

Oh Firestorm #2? Why were you so mediocre?

Well hurry it up, will you? I haven't got all day! I need to sleep sometime!

Maybe I'll just answer the question for you. We needed more story with Jason and Ronnie before putting them in this kind of action.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Y'all needed to get Firestorm into the comic before all your fans dropped the thing. And I suppose you had some conflict with Jason and Ronnie while they were in the Quantum Field.

Now Ronnie knows how Professor Stein felt!

Yeah, that's the place. Just hanging out in the mind of Fury! Maybe that someone else is that Martin Sheen guy! Because they definitely aren't controlling this creature in the least. So there has to be a third mind helping out. Later in the comic, they get into an altercation while in the mind of Fury and Fury says some of there lines. So they can obviously control this thing. Perhaps the 'someone else' is some sort of Fire or Nuclear Elemental or Electron Creature or something that is the source of their power but is very hard to control! So it's going to be these two kids fighting about who is the bigger jerk while Nuclear Hulk smashes the hell out of everything.

The evil Corporation they're up against has some sort of weird canine fetish. The original group of black op assholes were Dog Team. And in this issue, Hyena Patrol, is sent in to take care of Fury the Furious Firestorm Who Is Definitely Not The Hulk.

I cropped this picture to retain Tonya's ass.

See? Red! Not Green! And on fire! Not not on fire!

Hyena Scouts are called Hyenas because they take some super drug to allow them to jump out of helicopters and survive and it makes them giggle continuously.

By the end of the issue, Team Hyena has the upper hand because the Firestorm that knows how to use his powers is hurt and at gunpoint and Ronnie is trying to think, like that picture I posted way up there. I think that's supposed to be a huge cliffhanger! Having the football player thinking!

Since I don't have anything else to say about this fairly run-of-the-mill issue and most of that other stuff I said was just blathering and filling space, here's another picture of Ronnie's Mom!

I think she's upset that there is a black man in the house.


  1. Is she a Gray Alien or something in that last panel? Where's Charles Nelson Reilly when you need him?

  2. It is worth noting that although hyenas are morphologically and behaviorally similar to canines, they are actually phylogenetically closer to felines and viverrids. Also, female spotted hyenas have extremely unusual genitalia, which greatly confused ancient writers (many of whom believed hyenas changed their genders every year).

    1. Are you my Oracle? Perhaps crippled by some white faced whale of a joker come knocking at your father's door? Having to hang up the uniform but still wanting to be part of the action, so you sit at home, Anonymous, yet doing research and watching the dark alleys of the internet to help my make my posts just that much better than they were?

      Whoever you may be, mysterious (and hopefully still hot in her Batgirl underwear) stranger, welcome!