Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Justice League International #4

In case the readers weren't sure about Batman and Booster being captured at the end of the last issue, this issue starts off with them being overwhelmed.


Superman. Flash. Wonder Woman. Green Lantern. A different Green Lantern. Some other Green Lantern. Plastic Man. Aquaman. No, just kidding! Starfire. Supergirl. Superboy. Firestorm. Captain Atom. Mister Terrific. Hawkman. Batwoman. Batgirl. Nightwing. Red Hood, whoever he is! Blue Beetle even!

After Bats and Boosts go under, Green Lantern is shown still alive and getting up. So even Peroxide has a better ethic than Superman! Although I'm sure in a subsequent issue, Johns is going to have Superman say something about how he knew they were not living or sentient or something else because of his X-ray vision.

But Perraxus, having left Green Lantern for some reason (perhaps thinking him down for good? Why not kill him?) comes back to where Gardner is but gives Gardner a little heads up this time by talking to himself. But this time he's speaking in an alien language:



Let me translate for you: "The alarm! There is an intruder!"

I'll go through the whole dialogue for the next few pages with the translations I made. Now, I'm not sure if the Alien has a problem pronouncing his 'R's or if the letterer just fucked up a few times:

P: "The alarm! There is an intruder!"
G: "Huh?"
P: "Puny Green Lantern!"
P: "I will defeat you with eae!" (Oh, and apparently an S here and there. Also, in this speech bubble, the I is different in the alien language. Perhaps because it is a capital I?)
G: "You must be the one who took me down when I wasn't lookin'. Not many guys get two chances to cheapshot me."
G: "No one gets three."
P: "I shall not need a third!" (So apparently he understands English. He just doesn't speak it. The I in this speech bubble is yet a third different shape!)
P: "I will simply destroy you now!" (This is an odd comment since Peraxxus, just after beginning to speak English, states that he 'had first thought to kill' Green Lantern but 'has decided to learn' from him instead. And yet, if he had first thought to kill Guy, he could have done it earlier. Did Peraxxus just have a horrible sudden case of diarrhea between issues that couldn't wait for the killing blow on Guy?!)
G: UHN!
G: "Nice. I like a guy with juice. Means I can really cut loose."
P: "We had enough of your chatter, Eathling!" (There is a letter or mark before WE which I didn't bother with. Possibly a letterer error. And I can't say that EATHLING is actually missing a letter because maybe this creature calls Planet 3-147 "EATH!" Oh no, wait! He calls it Planet 3-147! Should't Guy be a 3-147ling?!)
P: "The tanslators in my ship..." (Hee hee! Tanslators!)

And then he starts speaking English. Tally ho and pip pip and all that! And so Guy and Peraxxallus teleport down to the chamber where the rest of the JLI are held captive.


Guy does like a guy with juice! Mmmm! Guy loves a guy with juice! MMMMMM!

Next is the big reveal. Heroes soon to die so Peraxxus gets all loosy-goosy with the tongue. And while the Villain of the Month gabs and gabs, the rest of the team come up with a plan (of sorts!) Ice is instrumental to their freedom, freezes things so they break, blah blah, and then:



Looks impressive! You'd never guess that in the next few pages, Peraxxus kicks their asses! Or maybe you would.

So the comic ends with Peraxxus having started up his end of the world machine. What is going to happen? Eeeee! I don't know! But I'm excited to find out! Yay comic books!

Oh yeah. One last thought. How come the heroes always almost fail? Why do they have to get beat issue after issue before they come back just in time to save the day and win at the end and come from behind?! It would be nice if the majority of stories had the heroes easily defeating the bad guy and then all of the drama and tension could play out in other ways, through character interaction and possibly things happening back in headquarters.

I wish I had some readers here so they could direct me to comics where the hero kicks major ass all day long and rarely falls behind in a fight!

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