Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Green Arrow #2

I'm not sure what overall 'good purpose' Green Arrow thinks he's serving by going after party hard people with super powers. It's only the second page of Issue #2 and he's, yet again, going after some people who were just out having a good time AND happen to have super powers. And he's pretty frickin' judgmental to boot!

I wonder if Green Arrow had to pay the $20 to get to the top of the Space Needle to bust a paying customer through their window? Why is Green Arrow causing so much trouble? Was his family killed by watching Reality and Gossip Television? Maybe they starved to death watching YouTube videos?

Why so bitter, DUDE?! Can't a bunch of wanna be super villains just hang out and get wasted? Dance a little?

The woman he's being a big chauvinist to (which I think is something he's always been anyway!) is Lime. Or Light. Yeah, more lame Super Villain names. They're the ones I thought might be Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen from the last issue.

Green Arrow battles Light and Lime while saying a whole bunch of things I'm pretty sure I've heard 13 year olds say during a game of Call of Duty. Okay, maybe he doesn't call them faggot niggers. But his repartee is almost as unimaginative.

I was hoping with all the Super Villains shown at the end of the last issue that this comic was going to be interesting. But so far, it's just disappointing. Why is Green Arrow hunting these celebrity Super Villains? Why are they criminals?

In the first issue, Naomi says that Doppleganger terrorized Milan during fashion week. Okay, but that doesn't expressly mean she committed any crimes. And Overcharge blacked out Monte Carlo with his powers. It could have been an accident from partying too hard. Did he break any other laws once the power was out? And Lime and Light haven't done anything the Rolling Stones never did!

Wait. The kids might not know who The Rolling Stones are. What's a good group to replace them with that the kids would know? Hmm. Lady Gaga?

So we have a Super Hero who really just seems to be wasting his time upset that no talent super villains are becoming celebrities of the gossip tabloids and reality driven television scene. Who cares, Green Hornet? Leave them alone!

His super power is making you not know what he's looking at.

So then this kid comes along and explains it all. I guess. These guys go around destroying property. Those are their disgusting YouTube videos.

Not exactly your most horrible threats to America. Why isn't Green Arrow going after the white collar criminals? That seems more his usual speed instead of going after destructive attention whores.

Except this kid doesn't just explain it all. He also becomes a victim of this super group hunting for fame. And they post it on the internet. And Naomi's reaction is the stupidest reaction I've ever seen from someone not on the network news.

I'm beginning to think J.T. Krul is not a very good writer.

But that's okay! Because I just looked up J.T. Krul to see if I knew him from other books. And it looks like he stops writing Green Arrow with issue #3. And since I have four issues of Green Arrow sitting here, I took a look at the cover of issue #4 because I remember in my previews saying something about Giffen or something.

And...YES! Keith Giffen takes over the writing for Green Arrow on issue #4. Fuck me. I'm super excited about that. Okay then! Let's just power through these Krul issues and get to some good times! Green Arrow's dialogue is going to be so much better in a couple of issues!

So, back to Green Arrow and his crusade against entertainment!

Green Arrow decides to go after the Villain Gang of the Month since he so cleverly figured out that the internet video was a call for Green Arrow to come and try to stop them.

It does sound like that! Good work, Batman!

And then he checks out his techie's new air bag arrow.

Oh you clever, clever boy! I was going to suggest Helium!

After that, Green Arrow heads out to fight the gang that either doesn't have a name or I missed it while yawning. He takes out the first enemy, Chupacabra!

I have no idea what this arrow does. Emit anti-chupacabra pheromones?

Next, Green Arrow punches out French Wonder Woman or, as the comic book calls her, Stunner while calling her a skank. Classy, Green Arrow! Just because she's a hot woman, she's a skank? She dresses exactly like Wonder Woman. Would you call her a skank? Maybe. But not to her face, I'm betting!

And hey, Stunner?! Are you trying to riff off The Outsider's character, Looker? I mean, sure, you're definitely way hotter! But anybody not drawn by Jim Aparo is going to be way hotter than Looker!

I feel bad about putting down Jim Aparo's art because he's dead.

They all dance around a little bit doing no actual harm to each other (even though Green Arrow gets absolutely electrocuted by Static Overcharge, the Human Superconductor (unless a superconductor does something else)) so that they can get to the last panel where Green Arrow finds himself surrounded and streaming live on the internet! OMG!

This doesn't look like a big fight about to happen. It just looks like general disapproval.


  1. Ugh. Looks like DC has lost a step in telling stories.

    J.T. Krul? Who huh? Never heard of him (best known for some Fathom series?), and just reading these panels sent shivers of revulsion down my stuff.

    And that art work is pretty bad. Nice call out on that last panel.

  2. Green Arrow = those cops that bust kids smoking under the bleachers.

    1. Man. Fuck those motherfuckin' cops! Can't we just have a good time and shit without being hassled?!

      Stupid Green Arrow.

  3. This artwork is pretty standard fare for comics. I was looking through the old 90's Who Who Binder edition and the average looked like this stuff. So I don't really think of this below average crap as bad! I just think of it as the artist not giving a shit! That's pretty sad.

    And the storytelling! It looks like though bubbles are out. Apparently, DC didn't like the idea of readers seeing what the character's reactions were to the action he was involved in, or the goings on around him. I guess having the main character narrate the story as if he were telling it to his grandchildren was much better. Blah.

  4. Exactly: Artist not giving a shit. Or the writer, apparently.

    Bubbles got destroyed by Gaiman and all the Britishy Vertigo writers back in the 90s. Except they would use captions, as if their characters would sit down and reflect on their actions. As IF! I guess Sandman would.

    Then there was Ellis (and his acolytes) who don't even do captions. Just dialogue and letting artists communicate stuff. Sometimes it wouldn't work and you'd be all, "So wait, what just happened?"

    ANYWAY, if you're gonna be a comics writer, you gotta emulate the best. Apparently. "I'm like one of those 'great' writers!" NO THOUGHTS NO CAPTIONS NO NOTHING.

    Except, you know, when you're J.T. Krul and just screwing up the idea of telling stories.

    I think you're right about the art being standard fare for comics. Sometimes I look at old comics that I absolutely loved, including the art, and now I'm like, WTF?